How's this for zen? I have been awake all night because of something that happened Thursday morning. Fretting, seething, gnashing my teeth. Then, I thought all of a sudden that Obama must feel just like this when the republicans throw out their nonsense and he can't fight back without lowering to their level and just not wanting to go there. And...epiphany music please...I have decided to be Obama. And the knots in my stomach loosened up, my shoulders came down from my ears, I realized how sore my jaw is from clenching. Aahhh....one more thing to be glad about Obama for. Personal inspiration."Those are the people, Democrats and Republicans, who have shaped my ideas and who will be surrounding me in the White House. And I think the fact that this has become such an important part of your campaign, Sen. McCain, says more about your campaign than it says about me."
Here's the downlow...there is a parent, and I am not being snippy by saying this chick is certifiable, she is really off the road, and god help me she HATES me from last year. The last half of the year was a minefield! So this year, of course, I have her again for 1/3 of my day. There was a minor kerfuffle a little bit ago, but my principal ran interference and I got to just roll my eyes and think, Here we go again. So yesterday, at 8:25...yes, that IS first bell when I'm in charge of 25 maniac 10 year olds, she and her divorced husband come in and say, "Can we talk to you?" My first instinct is, "Let's go into the principal's office" since I have a practicum student who will lead class and I desperately want a witness except that my principal is out of the building. Next best thing, the spare room next door which connects to the room of a friend who is the TIC so I figure if I really need help I can shriek for her. Anyway, we go over and they proceed to tell me how displeased they are with me as a teacher, a human being and a waste of atoms. Apparently, I have irrevocably damaged their daughter by mocking her brother from last year as a failure in front of this year's class and calling her a cheater and a liar. I will be expected to let her remain in her home room and customize assignments so she won't have to breathe the same air as me and not let her grade suffer because I am such a rotten example of humanity. I'm paraphrasing a bit. So the way I talk these people down is by kissing their asses, smiling and nodding through this, repeatedly mentally reminding myself of the shit storm I brought on myself last year by actually telling the truth, and agreeing with everything, even the line, "What you actually said is irrelevant. What she thinks she heard is her reality." Yes, yes, of course that's true. I'm gripping a chair leg so tightly that my fingers ache and my friend comes in and checks that everything is ok? Yes, yes, we're just having a discussion, everything is fine. Upshot is that they leave happy, I am allowed to be graced with the presence of the daughter during class time, and I get a big hug and "Let's keep the lines of communication open" from the psycho.
So all day I've been raging internally about how unfair it is that no matter what the truth is, there is no way these people will hear it and they will cling to their perception regardless of the facts. Why isn't there some existential hammer that slams down on people and says, Dude...you are wrong. Here are your consequences. I would be more than willing to risk participating in that system because, regardless of what you may think of me ;) I WANT to know if I'm wrong! I WANT to know what is actually and indisputably true. Why can't truth be an absolute? Then my 2 am epiphany kicked in. Obama faces this every day. No matter how many he times he puts the real facts out there, they will repeat their blatant lies and smirk and salute the flag and call themselves christians and the "real" Americans. Like him, all I can do is calmly state facts and stay above the fray. Let them eat themselves from the inside out. When they implode, my hands will be clean and it will no longer be my problem. God have mercy on my soul!
Oohh....addendum....putting my problems in perspective: Trueby just stumbled out clutching her blanket and looking for company after a nightmare. "What did you dream about, sweetie?" "Mean farmers. I was a cow and they didn't kill me but they killed my cow friends." Poor thing. She's tucked in with Daddy, becoming a vegetarian as I type!
