Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Monday at San Diego Zoo



So in keeping with the theme of imprisoned animals, we spent vacation day two at the San Diego Zoo. And in keeping with the hypocrisy theme, it was lovely. I still don’t like it, but we paid them so I can’t say anything about it. Damn.
We started with a narrated bus tour, top deck, which True thought was amazing in itself, around the park to see what and where we wanted to go. As we were loading, this gigantic peacock kept calling and shimmying up his tail feathers. It was a great pre-funk. The tour was great, because it was so early a lot of the otherwise snoozy animals were up and about. We were in the very front seat on the uncovered top, it was pretty cool.
When we got off, we went first to the petting zoo. That’s a whole lot of goats my friend. Although, on the way there, we went through the reptile house and sweet Marie, anacondas are freakin huge! I know you think you know how big they are, but that thing was immense!
We also went through the insect house, and while I am normally left pretty cold by the creepy stuff, part of it was cool. They had a bee hive cutaway thingy that True was fascinated by. Just a solid wall of motion, a contradiction I know. And a tube where they were going in and out. It was cool to see. The part that got me though was the giant wall of leaf-cutter ant tunnels. It was too weird. They were so busy, and to see all their work and the giant pieces of leaves they hauled around. Amazing.
I also took a picture of this dead leaf. No I didn’t, that’s a mantis! How in the world does something evolve to look like a flippin dead leaf? That seems like a super conscious effort to me, not spontaneous birth defects. I am blown away by this.
The meerkats were cute as usual, but look at this picture. It looks like there’s no glass, and she’s feeding it from her hand. Heh heh.
Next was my second favorite part, the SkyFari. I know, dumb name for a sky tram, but it was the best. That thing cooked! No pansy sight seeing drift over the park, that sucker was transportation baby! It took about half the ride for True to unlock, but by then it was almost over and she didn’t get to look around much, not that she would have looked over the side or anything like that, but she did start moving her head. I’m kidding! She was nervous, but loved it.
We saw the polar bears, which got nothing on SeaWorld, though made for a good photo, and check out her intense interest in the zebras. Nice. The aviary part was cool too, super ugly harpy eagles and a condor that was all but screaming “Look at me!”
The primates were great, of course, and True went all Annie Lebowitz about it. Too cute. My very favorite part of the day was the gorillas. We got there just as the keepers were spreading branches and banana leaves around to feed them and then let them out. They were so cool! Kinda came out meandering around a bit, staring at the surge of people who pressed up on the glass, then the big guy grabbed a floppy old frond on a stick and chased some little guy off the spot he apparently wanted. He looked so funny running upright waving this branch all fierce. I loved it. A new baby was riding around on mom’s back and she came over to the glass and looked straight at True and set the baby down in front of her. It was astounding. The big one took off with branch again and waddled threateningly around the corner and gave the glass this “I'll kick your ass too” thump on his way by. It was hysterical. Loved it!
We came back to the hotel and swam in the pool for a while before going out to dinner at the Corvette Diner. It was great, a 50s theme with super friendly waitresses who danced and a very We're Going For Happy Days feel to it. We had a handful of straws thrown at us when we were first seated, which flabbergasted True, who neatly picked up each one. She had a bowl of super creamy mac n cheese while we snacked on Spicy Fried Pickles. If you ever get the chance, you totally have to try these, super good. My favorite part of dinner though was my drink. When we used to have to spend the days at the book store, we’d walk up a few blocks to the SuperJet market and I’d by a Green River in a bottle. Lime heaven. They had a soda fountain version here, with a million maraschino cherries in the bottom. Divine! It was a good time. We drove around the city a bit and headed home, wiped out! Another good day. Hope y’all are enjoying the freezing temperatures!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sunday at SeaWorld

Ok, have you been to SeaWorld? I have, for all my life, been violently opposed. Same thing with zoos. The whole "born free" thing. Enter the child. Like every single other thing in my life, I've had to reassess. How do I expect her to develop the appreciation for this planet, to understand the conectivity, if none of that stuff is real to her? I want her to be awed by all these things, and I don't want to drive to the freakin Arctic, so that lands us at SeaWorld. For all the stuff I have yet to be hypocritical about in the future, just shut it. Besides, the first thing we saw when we got there was a guy vacuuming a Clydesdale, so it can't be all bad, right?

The first ride was a simulated helicopter travesty to an Arctic research base. One of those strap you in and jiggle you all over in sequence with the screen. It was way cool. True was gripping our hands like table vises!It was great, all set up like a research base and even had ice walls through one part. Nice. When we got to the underwater viewing, she was mesmerized by a beluga that was pressing up against the glass where a baby was pressing her hand to our side. It was so amazing...it just kept pressing its head up and I swear they look like they're smiling. Then we watched a polar bear try and catch its lunch. It was hilarious, it totally dove at the window, mouth agape and slid down the glass after a fish it just missed. This part was rocking.There was a simply ginormous walrus swimming around that we could watch above and below the water level. True was astounded by him, he was so incredibly vast. We saw the penguins too. This was so funny, we were on one of those moving sidewalk things and all just standing in the same pose, cameras up, sliding motionless past all these huge and tiny tuxedos sliding motionlessly past us. Weird. The manatees were just amazing in how large and graceful they are. For something called a sea cow, they definitely earned the name.

The shark tunnel was cool, but mostly because it made me giggle so much thinking how freaked out Jamal would be by it. These are for you, Uncle Jamal.


Everyone told us we had to catch the pet show. That it sounded sketchy, but was totally worth it, so we went. And it was totally worth it! All these rescued animals performing tricks in front of a heaving, screaming mob. And yes, that is a cat leaping into a person's arms. Nuf said.

We had lunch, FIFTY FIVE DOLLARS!!! and watched Shamu. This was another way cool one. I can't believe the whole human-animal thing. It's incredible. Those animals are nothing short of amazing. Seriously, took my breath away. We went on one ride, a river rapids raft dealie, got wet, good times. I found out I'm an aquarium snob. Honestly, I couldn't possibly care less about the stupid octopus or fish or anemone. For crying out loud, I was a little embarrassed with how little patience I had with that part! We couldn't go on the cable ride because of the breeze, but instead caught a 4-D Sesame Street show. That is their term, not mine, but apt. It had amazing 3-D and stuff like water spray, bubbles, sound effects etc to really pull you in. Freaked the shit out of True. She HATED it! It was too funny. Elmo's prancing around squeaking about imagination and my kid is hiding her face in her jacket trembling. Poor thing.
We were pretty beat when we left, but totally ready to go back for our second day and see all the rest, plus get in on the rides. Yay Spring Break!











Well earned

I don't know which is more significant...that when we drove to Seattle for the flight, it was actually trying freaking hard to snow, or that the flight attendant on the plane was the twin of the parent most causing me to need vacation right now. Either way, I was immensely glad to wake up this morning tangled up in sheets and sweaty 5-year old in San Diego, baby! It was actually hot! Granted, the high today is forecast at 63, but after home I'll take it!
We're in a scrubby hotel, clean, but definitely just for sleeping. And the pool. But we're on our way to breakfast and then SeaWorld, woo hoo!
Although The Man is constantly trying to jinx it, we've had a crazy easy trip so far. No lines, not small lines...NO lines! First out of the baggage chute, seats all together, walked out of baggage claim smack into our shuttle, picked up the rental car and it's a darling little Prius! Whee! I'm expecting Shamu to eat my kid just to keep balance in the universe. I'll let you know how it goes, have fun in the snow Suckers!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I have a problem

Depending on your point of view it's anywhere from not even on the map, to wow lady, get some help. Here's the thing. In my daughter's kindergarten class....I'll say that again, KINDERGARTEN class...they self pace to read these little paper books with phonetic practice that get gradually more difficult. So there are 30 in this particular series and my kid has 2 to go. Plowing through them! I asked her today what happens when she gets to the end of the 30 and she says you start new books. I say, "Are you sure? Did anyone else start new books?" She lists like four kids in her class who are on the next set and, cue the psycho music, I actually in my head go, "Well! We better step this up!" Some demented weird little part of my brain got all competitive about it! My steadying husband was right there and I turned to him and go, "I have a problem." I told him what I thought and he's all, "Yeah you do. Chill" Which is all well and good and nothing serious and we all have impulses and yadda yadda yadda...BUT! There's always a bloody but isn't there? Just so you know, I recognize what I just typed and my first instinct (a good one this time) was to reword it, but come on...that stays. ANYWAY! What makes this not an isolated little psycho moment is that today I became an official Soccer Mom. I know!
Last night we spent 80 hundred hours rounding up so tiny cleats, bubble gum pink shin guards/socks/legwarmers and Beckham shorts. She looks so adorable. I can't stand it. She's on a team with all her little crew but they all played together last fall so she's a bit behind starting out. Totally going for it though. Check out that wind! And she didn't complain at all, loving it! Her coach is lovely, someone we already know and I'm so glad it's her. She'll be wonderful! So outside of my having to buy a minivan now, here's the thing. Trueby didn't get on the team at first. She was put on another team and I had to be the obnoxious Soccer Mom calling the registrar, poor man lives down the street from us and I have his phone number! I totally felt like my nails were manicured and I had a sweater tied around my shoulders saying "This is not acceptable. It will be my way or I will have your ass," in a pinched face voice. The truth is a friend offered to drive her to the practices and if she was on another team we wouldn't have been able to get her there and she couldn't play. I swear it was for a good reason! But I felt filthy. I know it's not a big deal. But if you line up all the little things in a line...it starts to look kinda like a big thing doesn't it? Yep, you know what I mean. (She just asked if I am "typing randomly." Randomly sounds very funny coming from a five-year old.) So I'm on way down the slippery slope. If you see other signs in my behavior, feel free to point them out. Just know, I'll tell you I love you to your face and then call you a filthy name on the bleachers while serving orange slices to the soccer players.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Oh sweet jebus

ok, I know it's kicking a downed horse...or feeble old crippled man...but what the hell are the republicans doing?