oh, COME ON!

Yeah, I'm stuck at the bottom of the hill. I left work in pouring rain. As I drove home, a truck went by with 3 inches of snow on it. Hmmm, I thought, that could be bad. Then, a freakin snow plow drives by me! Oh hell no! Yep. By the time I got here, flakes as big as quarters and fluffy as cartoon feathers were so thick on the ground I spun out like a tenth of the way up the very first hill! Luckily a friend was right there too and between her ice-melt and another guy's shoving, we got my car off the road and in between two other stranded cars and started walking up the hill. My lovely husband chained up and switched on the 4 wheel drive to come meet me on the way up. Suck.
So we get home and I tell True she won't be going to school tomorrow. "YES!!!!!!" she shrieks, like a ten-year old skater boy. Both our districts are 2-hours back today. Lovely. At least it doesn't tack more on in June. Silver lining, right? Yeah, remind me of that when I go get my car and it has another one bashed into it. Nice.

more parenting concerns

I usually have a movie going while I'm at work, just like to have some noise to distract me from the fact that I am in a huge scary dark building etc. Since I'm usually hard at work and not paying attention, I tend to choose throwaway movies that I'm not really dying to see, since I miss most of it. Today though, I got totally sucked in to the one I picked. It's a documentary called American Teen that follows a group of seniors through their last year of high school in Warsaw, Indiana. Wowza. Not only does it pull you right back into high school, and it's cool to watch and go, "I remember that," or "I remember him," but to see it with a teacher's and a parent's eye was jarring. I remember high school. Every moment was so dire, every experience carried the weight of the world. There was no gray area, it was all triumph or tragedy. While that is exhilarating and fun to watch, it was so hard to see those kids as students. They were reading magazines or texting in class, destroying each other socially just for fun, making choices that were coloring their entire futures right in front of my eyes. Then to see them as children! One parent flat out told his kid, "I can't afford college. This is the game where they will be watching you. If you don't get a scholarship, it's the Army." And to watch that boy cry in the locker room after the game. One dad said to his kid, during a phone call explaining a brink of suspension, "That was a stupid thing to do. But if you can't be smart enough to do it and not get caught..." Really? It totally hit me as both a mom and a teacher. I had an epiphany today. I was feeling extra feisty because a colleague got hung out to dry for voicing to our admin what all of us as science teachers have been feeling for years now; that science gets shafted in our district. I thought this morning that I work in a very small community where a large percentage of the population are products of this very school system. So we have the benefit of being able to just look around and see how we're doing. And it ain't great. We clearly do not have a focus on scientific thinking or informed citizenry. In the midst of this snide mental comment, I got hit with, "Holy mother. I am responsible for creating functioning actual people." Which you always know and are totally dragged around by, but to think...this town is a direct result of what I am doing in my room every day. Well, not yet, but assuming I don't get my job jerked from under me by the massive budget cuts we're facing next year, it soon will be. So in 8 years when I drive to work and see a majority of the campaign yard signs are still for the republican ticket because abortion and gay marriage are still percieved as the major issues facing the country....well, what will that say about my teaching?Pick up a copy of that movie. Watch it just for fun and to remember high school, or watch it as a parent and seriously think through the words that come out of your mouth the next time you are talking to your children. I sure hope I am able to. shut it...just because I don't doesn't mean I can't.

Things that make me go hmmm....shit

Check out my reader. I was making dinner and she's sitting there plowing through a real book. With words like "Madagascar" and "while." Now, I'm not saying she was reading those words, but she read most of them, and the weird ones like those she either asked for help, or pulled them from the context. And I am busy thanking the reading gods. Cuz you and I both know...if the reading is under control, the rest can be dealt with. If the reading is hard...everything is hard! Whew!!!

So I go to pick her up today and I notice the T-shirt on one of the workers. It says, "Younglife," which is kinda like a mini-mission joint. Convert them young sort of thing. My initial reaction was what my initial reaction always is...I think mostly on point but, admittedly, a trifle judgemental. My secondary reaction was brutal. "Oh shit! I've handed my kid to these people!!!" What if she comes home from college and tells me about the great time she had at The Inn Tuesday night? What if she shows me her purity ring? What if I actually have this conversation while driving in the car

Her (about some nutjob thing involving a squirell's tail that I had agreed with absent-mindedly): I finally found someone who believes me!

Me: Honey, I always believe you. That's why it's important to always tell the truth, so people can believe what you say (mental pat on the back for reinforcing a lesson we've been discussing lately. Way to grab a teachable moment, mom!)

Her: You don't believe me about god.

Me: *dammit* What do you mean honey? I believe in god. Just not the same way The Firs does.

Her: Well, we (oh stab me in the heart. WE? She has aligned with them against me in this) believe Jesus died for us and we should pray to him and to god.

This went on and on and, sadly, didn't get any better. She knows I have a different belief system than her daycare. (Her flippin DAYCARE!!!) She has chosen sides. Which is fine. She's five. They aren't preaching chicken beheadings...leaving that to the Palin school of theology. But see, here is my point. Where does she become an alien one of them that I cannot stand to be around? And yes, that's hyperbole, but that's my favorite form of communication. Of course I would never not want to be around her, but is it possible she becomes someone I lump into the "them" category? And yes, I KNOW it's my problem and it's unfair and yadda yadda yadda...but come on. Do you think Cheney's mom saw him coming? Was there a point where she went, "I've lost him." Or, did she dress him up in a black fedora of death and put him in a wheelchair for his 4th birthday and cross her fingers he'd turn out like he did. I don't know. Do you?

I feel old

and not a little dirty. Apparently I'm too old and crotchety for the newfangled technology kids these days are into. Nice to know.

On the bright side, I am the proud proprietor of a good chunk of the student performers in the latest Missoula Children's Theater production to hit my school. It's nothing short of amazing. On Monday, 2 adults and a small beater pickup rolled into town and auditioned 95 kids, kindergarten-fifth grade after school. They assigned parts and in no more than five days of after school rehearsals turned out a musical extravaganza I feel I got every one of my 10 buck's worth from. Trueby and her two buddies had a great time and so did I. It must be said, I was swelling with pride for the ones I shouldn't, but do take credit for. True was so excited that they were excited to see her. Mom, they keep saying hi to me! Yeah, I talk about you just a little bit. She's like a celebrity at my school!

We had dinner after, two moms and I. Doing our best to keep the girls from being "those girls" at the restaurant. I love getting these three together. They are so easy and natural together. Just like family. I love it!

Speaking of....check out this sky. Hell is the obvious choice, but seriously, it's heavenly isn't it?

Then there's this

I just adore watching her suck up a smoothie. She just adores it. She looks like such a little girl. These are the expressions that are going to stick in my mind when she graduates and becomes an adult. A friend just told me his daughter will start high school next fall at the high school where we went. I can't imagine how weird that must be.

In case you're wondering what the best song in the world is right now, check this out. I can't get enough of this guy at all, Greg Laswell, and this song in particular. I literally listen to it in a non-stop loop as I'm correcting honest to god mountains of science. I even dream it since it's so embedded in my brain.

This is good too. Geraldine by Glasvegas. I love me my Scots!

some cool stuff

You know what's cool? This is Black History month. Awesome. My favorite part is its proximity to the election hoopla so it is really highlighted. It is so cool. My kids only know the concept through the lens of downtrodden, history, struggle. Now we are looking at triumph, challenge met, excellence. It is too damn cool.

Something else cool? My kid made freakin butter. I went to pick her up and she's shaking the bejeesus out of a baby food jar of cream, "Like the pie-neers did for their butter." And lick my ass if we didn't spread it on bread for dinner that night. Awesome.

Something else cool? I drive to work in sunrise again. Slap me around and call me Nelly it's gorgeous around here. Look at this monster.

Who are the idiots choosing to live anywhere else?

You need another one? I am teaching science. I was at a meeting today and I am the only one passionate about this. I am the only teacher on the face of the earth who cares that science is being taught. Ok, maybe there is one other, but I don't know her. Look at those boys. They are focused, engaged, on task. They are completely involved in what they are doing. One of those kids has a serious autism diagnosis and spends much of his day in the lifeskills room. But I'm teaching science and they are into it! And my kids? They think I fucking rock at it. Yesterday a girl told me I am "not like any other teacher I have ever known." Shut up, I'm taking it as a compliment. I am turning out 75 kids this year who had an adult tell them what they think matters, they are responsible for what happens in the world around them, and they can make that look however they want. I did that.

Something else? You remember the Neil Gaiman book I raved about? The Graveyard Book? Just got the Newberry for this year. Excellence rewarded. It truly is a new day in America.

Want more? My computer is infected with something!!!! and I don't have any idea what the hell is wrong but have amazed myself with how many things I have tried to fix it. I got some skillz. Ok, admitedly, nothing has worked. And I have absolutely no idea what the problem is. And I'm completely shooting in the dark. I resemble a blind man flailing in free fall. But I have thought of a lot of stuff to try! Ok, maybe this one is reaching a bit.

Still. It's a good day today. And the best part of that is that it is a totally normal day. Completely inside the ordinary. Nice.