This should fix it

Dear Red States,
We're ticked off at the way you've treated California , and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research, the tech sector, and the best beaches. We get Nancy Pelosi. You get Sarah Palin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get WalMart. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Berkeley, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Baylor, and Dollyworld. We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico . Sincerely, Blue States

I wish I could credit this as due...just thank a witty liberal and call it good

Guess what I did today!

That's right. I did take it down and place it in the box instead of sending it by mail. And not to save a stamp either. There were so many people doing it, too! I don't know if the $5.37 standard postage now is off-putting, or if all of my fellow citizens are equally paranoid. Hell, if my phone is being tapped, who knows what they're doing with my mail! The car in front of me had a McCain/Palin sticker and I thought, "Ha. Cancelled you out, sucker!" The bike behind me was Obama for sure, c'mon...a bicyclist for McCain? I doubt it. So that puts us up by one by my count. Woo hoo!

Almost as exciting as the electoral circus, yesterday we packed up Trueby and met her buddy at the Dream Science Circus. What a hoot! We had a great time. The angle was they take people from the audience, hook them up to the Dream Machine, and their dreams are projected onto the stage. It was great. There were jugglers, acrobats, dancers, funny stuff, wow stuff, little bit risque stuff. The capper was Trueby's buddy getting up on stage and hamming it up to the hilt. Including a bow at the end for her exit! It was priceless. I'm definitely going again next year! Though I don't know if True is so gung ho. She said, "If they put that hat on my head, it would not be good." She wasn't cool with having her dreams sucked out and displayed in the daylight. She is convinced it would be bad news for her dreams to be "out." Yeah, I know.

Check out the photo album for some more shots!

some fun stuff

For the 7% idiot population who are still undecided in this race. Seriously? Should these cranially challenged nitwits even be allowed to vote? Here is a visual representation that may help them make up the uninformed, uninterested, or unable minds they have.

I think this is hysterical. I can't decide which I like better: the steam engine teetering on the very brink of utter calamity, or the dopey face on the Thomas/Palin train. Although, it may be the McCain train that has completely derailed. Don't think so? Check this out


Remind you of anything? Maybe this?

Oh, the good old days.

So, more good stuff. Check out this shot on my morning drive. It doesn't come close to doing it justice, nor does the next from the drive home.

It's the light. I don't have the talent to do it justice, but it is so breathtaking. I want to be very clear..I still hate fall. I hate the death of summer, my dear darling favorite, I hate the onset of winter, my nemesis season, I hate the drizzly, cold, gray, mundane, back to work, death and ending and long long long pull to spring again. I hate fall! But you'd have to be blind and stupid not to see that it's beautiful. I even hated missing pictures when I don't have my camera and got a little point and shoot to keep in my purse always. All these pictures are my workhorse lovely starter camera though, I'm posting its picture too so as not to offend it. And it's my favorite.I'll close with this one. Seriously, if it weren't all eaten at, and god help whatever ate at it, wouldn't it look just like a comic book or fairy tale mushroom? Imagine it all pointy round topped with bright red and light spots and elves dancing around on it. Am I right?

Exciting day

whoo..so I'm JUST getting the kids in line for lunch when over the intercom we hear, "Staff, we are in lockdown." NOOO! So we're screaming to the totally bewildered fourth graders outside, "Get in get in get in!!!"and they're just staring at us with a total "huh?" look on their faces and NOT moving at all. So we corral everyone and my kids are huddled in the corner with all the lights off whispering, Is it real? I'm reassuring and hushing and comforting and shushing and calming and "freaking shut it" ing. You get the picture. One of my kids says, "What will you do if someone comes down the hall?" I said, "It depends on which one of you they're trying to take." So after 15 minutes in the huddle we get the all clear. Turns out there was a bank robbery right by us and the guy bolted. They got him though. But wowza, were my kids wound up! You try teaching something after that! Nice break in the monotony though.

double update

So, one week to the day, tooth number two is out. And apparently I have overdone the picture taking. When the camera came out, she squealed "Pillow wall!" and tried to hide completely from the shot. When the flash went off she yelped, "Did she get me?!" Sorry little monkey. But I'm gonna get a picture. Might as well let me do it and get it over with.

Also, remember the psycho on Thursday? So Friday morning she comes in, and as my stomach drops to my feet, says, "I just want you to know how glad we are my daughter gets to have you for her teacher this year." I'm now the best teacher ever, her ex-husband was the one who was upset, and she wants us to be best friends and braid each other's hair. Seriously, I'm terrified of this loony toon. Tomorrow she may want to wear my skin!!

Thank you so so so much to everyone who sympathized with me over that ugly situation. It's lovely to hear supportive, kind words about something like that. Even though I know all they said is untrue, it's still nice to hear people besides me say that can't be true!

Ohm-bama

How's this for zen? I have been awake all night because of something that happened Thursday morning. Fretting, seething, gnashing my teeth. Then, I thought all of a sudden that Obama must feel just like this when the republicans throw out their nonsense and he can't fight back without lowering to their level and just not wanting to go there. And...epiphany music please...I have decided to be Obama. And the knots in my stomach loosened up, my shoulders came down from my ears, I realized how sore my jaw is from clenching. Aahhh....one more thing to be glad about Obama for. Personal inspiration.

"Those are the people, Democrats and Republicans, who have shaped my ideas and who will be surrounding me in the White House. And I think the fact that this has become such an important part of your campaign, Sen. McCain, says more about your campaign than it says about me."

Here's the downlow...there is a parent, and I am not being snippy by saying this chick is certifiable, she is really off the road, and god help me she HATES me from last year. The last half of the year was a minefield! So this year, of course, I have her again for 1/3 of my day. There was a minor kerfuffle a little bit ago, but my principal ran interference and I got to just roll my eyes and think, Here we go again. So yesterday, at 8:25...yes, that IS first bell when I'm in charge of 25 maniac 10 year olds, she and her divorced husband come in and say, "Can we talk to you?" My first instinct is, "Let's go into the principal's office" since I have a practicum student who will lead class and I desperately want a witness except that my principal is out of the building. Next best thing, the spare room next door which connects to the room of a friend who is the TIC so I figure if I really need help I can shriek for her. Anyway, we go over and they proceed to tell me how displeased they are with me as a teacher, a human being and a waste of atoms. Apparently, I have irrevocably damaged their daughter by mocking her brother from last year as a failure in front of this year's class and calling her a cheater and a liar. I will be expected to let her remain in her home room and customize assignments so she won't have to breathe the same air as me and not let her grade suffer because I am such a rotten example of humanity. I'm paraphrasing a bit. So the way I talk these people down is by kissing their asses, smiling and nodding through this, repeatedly mentally reminding myself of the shit storm I brought on myself last year by actually telling the truth, and agreeing with everything, even the line, "What you actually said is irrelevant. What she thinks she heard is her reality." Yes, yes, of course that's true. I'm gripping a chair leg so tightly that my fingers ache and my friend comes in and checks that everything is ok? Yes, yes, we're just having a discussion, everything is fine. Upshot is that they leave happy, I am allowed to be graced with the presence of the daughter during class time, and I get a big hug and "Let's keep the lines of communication open" from the psycho.
So all day I've been raging internally about how unfair it is that no matter what the truth is, there is no way these people will hear it and they will cling to their perception regardless of the facts. Why isn't there some existential hammer that slams down on people and says, Dude...you are wrong. Here are your consequences. I would be more than willing to risk participating in that system because, regardless of what you may think of me ;) I WANT to know if I'm wrong! I WANT to know what is actually and indisputably true. Why can't truth be an absolute? Then my 2 am epiphany kicked in. Obama faces this every day. No matter how many he times he puts the real facts out there, they will repeat their blatant lies and smirk and salute the flag and call themselves christians and the "real" Americans. Like him, all I can do is calmly state facts and stay above the fray. Let them eat themselves from the inside out. When they implode, my hands will be clean and it will no longer be my problem. God have mercy on my soul!

Oohh....addendum....putting my problems in perspective: Trueby just stumbled out clutching her blanket and looking for company after a nightmare. "What did you dream about, sweetie?" "Mean farmers. I was a cow and they didn't kill me but they killed my cow friends." Poor thing. She's tucked in with Daddy, becoming a vegetarian as I type!

wowzers...right out of the box McCain is going after my guy. I sure hope this time they talk to each other. TO each other! They need to let people know not only what THEY are like, but how they differ from each other. If people are going to choose based on something besides each other's ads, they need to see them together.
ooh, McCain is getting all prickly. This Joe the Plumber jam is going all right. McCain is all O'Reilly about it..keeps cutting in and getting smug and harpy. I hope he blows his top!
Really? The over head projector again? He looks like a moron. He keeps talking about pork since he tries to sell his maverick thing. It doesn't make any sense, why are the men going for this? Thank god women have more sense. I don't understand why he keeps saying "I know how to do stuff" what? Is he keeping these secrets? What is the deal?
I think McCain knows he's in the tank. He's more prickly than the other times out. Obama isn't getting at him as much ....
Oh! Nasty campaigns in the house! Yahoo!
Oh lord, the town hall deal. Let that go! It doesn't play! He regrets most of all an attack on him about segregation? Not calling Obama a terrorist? Oh you liar...shut your piehole! He says it's tough but truthful. How is Obama not standing up and tearing his eyes out? Oh I hurt FOR him! It's hard to watch this about someone else, I can't imagine it being about me and just having to sit and be decent about it. Whew, Ohio is tough.
Ouch, Obama talking about the crazies gave me goosebumps. That's gotta suck. Why is McCain laughing about this? Jesus
Oh my god, he's defending the nuts by saying military wives and WWII vets? You fuck!
Oh, Bobbo trying to goad Obama, but he's keeping it on track. It's like trying to reason with a lobotomy patient. Where are Ayers and Acorn? Let it go! Oh, there it is!!
Obama looks sick to death of this discussion. Like he's trying not to puke on himself.
Ooh hoo! The veeps!
Ok, my guy is all about why Joe is good, no slam on Caribou Barbie
We know Palin? How? Through her many in depth interviews? Her candid words to the press? I only know her through her government's condemnation of her abuse of power and her constant lies. She knows special needs families? Oh christ.
So even when asked directly, Obama won't sink her....but McCain will go after Biden? Fuckwad
Where did "spend spend spend" come from? Nice talking point nonsequiter
Oh no, did he just say Obama isn't well traveled enough? He doesn't understand again? Crapper
really? preconditions again? Can this guy not adjust to a changing situation or what?
Joe the Plumber is so getting some tonight
Yikes, did he just say you need a gold plated caddy plan for transplants? Oh, and just blamed dems for the 8 year mess, nice.
Why is abortion even coming up? The courts are a major deal for more reasons than this...will the religious right please stop holding our election hostage? Actually, I shouldn't blame them. I blame the republicans courting them
whew, each time the tracker crawl alarms me at the beginning, but toward the end is more on target. McCain buries himself
why are eloquence, and intelligence too, slurs? What is his point here?
What? Did he just say he'll adopt all the unwanted babies?
oh boy! Education!
I love Obama's 4K credit. Great idea. And he won't let the parents off the hook either. It is so the key!
McCain does not get it. Failed schools in failed neighborhoods. Hmmm, look at that last line about parents. Is he suggesting a charter school will open in the inner cities for all the wealthy families who don't have a choice besides their failed neighborhood school? What an idiot. If we better educate more of the American public, McCain would never have got as far as he has.
why does he keep saying Palin is struggling with autism? I thought it was Down syndrome?
oh yeah, there's My Friends. We just need maverick and "my fellow prisoners" to call it a day
spending though, that's a close runner up.
I think he's so mad at what he's become. He's in a terrible position with no one but himself to blame. Kinda got to feel bad for him
dammit, I missed Obama's closer. I bet it was good though!
Wow, that one was better than the last two. I liked the back and forth. Not boring at least.

twitch

Dammit, I think I'm giving my kid an ulcer. Or she's getting an ulcer and I'm exacerbating it. Something is up. Today we had this whole go round and the upshot is I don't know if she feels like she's doing something wrong by not being happy at school. I know she loves her daycare, hell, jeebus is there, what's not to love? She is totally acting like she feels guilty about being unhappy. Or I am totally reading into nothing. This is another of those mind fucks where I'm totally panicked that I'm going to blow it off and it'll end up putting her atop a book depository, or I'll completely overreact...and end up putting her atop a book depository. Either way, you see my problem. Or you don't, and that's exactly my point.

a milestone!

So the big news this weekend was supposed to be the trip to the pumpkin patch with the two best buds. But deep in the corn maze, Trueby wrestled free an ear of corn and sealed the fate of her first lost tooth! Check that gap! It's a terrible/great story. She was trying some raw corn and got dirt in her mouth. She kept trying to pull it out with her fingers and was gagging herself. Literally, to the point of "throw-upping." I was laughing so hard as she was puking all over Everson and just kept jamming her fingers in her throat. Then she grabbed something out of her mouth and tossed it on the ground. I go, "Dude! That was your tooth!" I had to search all over the cornstalks and found the filthy, bloody, pukey bone shard and actually picked it up. That is how you know you're mom, in case you ever find yourself wondering. She was thrilled at first, then one of her buddies shrieked, "There's blood!" and True lost it. "I don't like it! I don't like it!" She kept making this totally horrified face every time her tongue found the hole. She was crying and couldn't talk, all this in the middle of the corn maze, mind you. I asked, "Does it hurt?" and she sobs, "I-I'm r-r-really freaked out!" Man, this chick does not handle change! We got her rinsed and spat, wound our way out of the maze, paid for our gourd and on the way back from putting it in the car, she finally says, "I feel better now." I asked if she wanted to tell her friends what is was like to lose a tooth and she says, "I think they know." Like, "Duh, I made it pretty obvious I didn't care for it." Last night we had to write a note to the tooth fairy to please not take the tooth, True wants to keep it. She was clearly not comfortable with the idea of some stranger buzzing around stealing body parts while she slept. She was totally clingy and kept asking things like, "What if she takes my music box instead?" and the like. So this morning she woke to two shiny quarters (yeah, we'll see how long that lasts as an appeasement) and declared, "The tooth fairy is nice!" Yep. She's convinced one coin was for her tooth, and the other was because her writing was so good. This is the note she left.


But the rest of the trip was just as good, though I'm totally bummed. I got some gorgeous pictures, you can't appreciate them unless you live here on a sunny fall day and just get dropped by how beautiful the outside is. But I had my white balance set for the pernicious fluorescents in my classroom and now all my pictures have a blue tinge. Dang it!

It was a great day though. This is the top down view of the squealy group hug of three best friends who haven't seen each other for a while:



They took some time with all the attractions first; photo ops, the jesus train, bouncy house, tormenting animals,




Then we got down to the serious business of picking a pumpkin.

Tell me these chicks don't look like the opening act of the Scottish Play. Toil and trouble indeed.After the patch shenanigans, we went on to apple picking (some legal, some not) and corn maze drama then had lunch and called it a day. Whew! Thank heaven we have a whole year to gear up for going again.

Take this as you will

I LOVE Jon Stewart!

inciting the rabble

They are gonna get him shot. Are you watching any of McCain's campaign events? People are nuts! They are seeing their chances slipping away and getting panicky, and into that McCain is pouring rhetoric like "he's a domestic terrorist" and "you can't trust this guy" and then acting all surprised when people start screaming Kill Him! at rallies. It's like Bush last week coming on TV and saying "We're all gonna burn! We're going down...mayday mayday! Our last and only hope to avoid armaggedon is this package. For the love of god, please pass this!" So yesterday he says, "People are panicking. It's causing more trouble. We need to just be calm, trust in the system. Just breathe through it." What do they expect? So now McCain is trying to back it down when it hits him in the face, (a lady at a rally said she was scared of Obama because "he's an arab" and he said, "No ma'am, no ma'am") but does nothing to quell shouts of "terrorist" and such when just screamed out. And then runs another Ayers ad. They keep hitting that line of "launched his carreer in his living room" which makes this clear tie to the guy. The actual story is that the chick who he was replacing in Illinois took him there, to her party, to introduce him to her supporters. So now all these redneck crazies are upset, psycho, racist AND feel like they have a legitimate complaint. If I were Michelle, I would be terrified right now. If I thought McCain had any shred of human decency left after he sold his soul, I'd expect him to outright say, "We went too far, this stuff is totally bogus, please settle the hell down." Yeah, that'll happen.

ribbit

seriously, what the fuck? Check this out


http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/08/politicians.meltdown.aig.ap/index.html



How can that even be possible? How can that even have happened? Do you remember in high school chemistry when the teacher titillated everyone with the anecdote about the frogs that boil to death because the water temperature rises so incrementally that they acclimate and don't realize there's a problem until they've been cooked? Well here we are. How is it possible that the government not only decided to spend $700,000,000,000.00 to buy up these people's crap (and voters are saying Obama's health care plan stinks of socialism? Christ!) and within a week they do this?! I'm not at all shocked the fuckwads did it, I absolutely cannot believe they did it so soon! HOW can we live in a world where this happens? In this world Sarah *wink* Palin is running for vice president of the country. HOW?! The current president has blatantly and repeatedly broken the law without consequence. HOW?! A political strong-arm has blunted the message of scientists the world over that we are destroying ourselves. HOW?! Let's not even talk about the insinuation of christianity into our political system, genocide in this day and age, the fact that people are dying for want of clean water...the list goes on and on. How is this world possible? What are we doing to ourselves? I listened to a clip from a right-wing radio show this morning where the host was making his point that the homeless should not be allowed to vote. As I was internally agape at this viewpoint, he followed it up with, "I'm gonna catch a lot of heat from this I'm sure, but frankly, I don't think women should vote either." The fact that this brain-dead moron holds this opinion is one thing, the fact that he can voice it on the air is beyond belief. Where are all the boundaries? Where have they gone? Where is common sense, and common decency? And that ass lick was voting for McCain Palin! What does it say about this woman that a man who doesn't believe women are rational enough to vote responsibly is willing to elect her vice-president? He quite clearly expects her to look pretty and serve coffee while the men talk. Is there really a contingent of those people out there? Another guy said, "This little bitch (Obama) needs to learn to stand up for himself. If he can't even stand up to our smokin' hot vice-president, how is he going to stand up to the Taliban?" Again, put aside the opinion that the ass monkey is clearly quite comfortable voicing on air, and consider how he views Palin. How are we letting this happen? I know how to fix it though.

More good stuff

Here's another song I love. It's kinda jammy. I adore the theme...the general wakes up after a dream and tells his soldiers he's refuting the idea of war. He tells his men they aren't to be held to his promises, but won't let himself off the hook. And the soldiers don't know what to do...as the general readies to fight by himself. It's The General by Dispatch...totally cool jam band.




You know what else just makes me giggly happy? I have given my kids an extra credit assignment. If they watch the debates, write down something intelligent that proves they actually thought a little bit, they get the credit. From the last two debates, 1/3 of each of three classes have brought in written statements that they can support when asked about them, another 1/3 of each class didn't write, but watched and brought opinions, and almost the whole class is involved when the candidates' performances are discussed. There's a little bit of "I like _________ because he's cool" or whatever, but most of the time they are giving thoughtful answers. I am ever so impressed, and so pleased that they are thinking and reasoning and excited about this stuff. One kid came up to me and said, "You're making me feel special that I live in such an exciting time." Damn! And they are totally stoked for tomorrow. They are excited to see how the candidates react when they get to take questions from "real people." What are the chances that just half of these 75 kids will retain some sense of civic understanding as adults? That they will understand they need to be informed, that it is their responsibility and privilege to have a say in who is the leader of their country. I'm so proud of them! I love listening to what they have to say. Granted, it's all parroting from their parents, but they are able to explain when I say "What do you mean by ____" so they have discussed it and get it. Obviously, I have to totally bite my tongue a good third of the time, but I'm thrilled they are interested and involved. If they learn from my class the responsibility to listen to both sides and make an informed choice, the small town knee jerk stuff will go away, right? I showed them about fact checking and they LOVED it. "It tells you right there!" Yep. I know. I'm excited about tomorrow. I'm excited to discuss it Wednesday with my elementary schoolers!

sorry

I don't mean to be mean, but turn it up and listen to the background noise.

Heh heh

Anyway....the very strangest thing happened to me today. An old lady, had to be 75+, stopped me and asked me about my hybrid. I told her I loved it and gave my standard, 500+ miles to a tank speil and we discussed it for maybe a minute. She said she liked my Obama sticker, and started to tell me about how he is good for green energy. I swear to whatever that 45 minutes later that chick had not stopped talking. I know how many kids she has, what they do, how much one of them makes, where they live, how her husband died, where her six homes have been, what features are in the geodesic dome she lives in now, including three bathrooms and an elevator! I know how she and her husband met, her self-image, her world view. It was astounding! There was LITERALLY no break in the monologue. I was flabbergasted each time she segued. I'm not bitching, it was truly a wonder to behold. I cannot imagine what she is like with people she knows. I've been thinking about it all day. She said she was a teacher for 35 years. No, she doesn't know I teach as well...I swear there was no where to pop a comment in! But what must her class have been like!!! Holy crap! Or maybe she's just lonely since she lives by herself and has lost all sense of civil dialogue. Again, I'm not complaining, I just can't get over the strangeness of it. Totally bizarre!

oh my god

Now look how Obama has raised my hopes. Check out the last one, I laughed instead of tried to stab the monitor. I actually feel sorry for the guy. Obama should be bottled and sold as one of those old-fashioned cure-alls. Anyone who can make me feel pity for Bush deserves to win.
And the topper:

let the games begin

wow wow wow! I'm so excited! One or the other or both of these two is heading for a huge implosion with tears, blood or a combination of the two. With any luck one will pee her pants. Yay for putting microphones in front of two people who are prone to oral diarrhea! This is gonna be great!

Here we go!

First off, both ok, little dry. Interesting, they have a focus group of undecided Ohioans (I think these guys have gotta be faking it for the attention. How can anyone in our country today be undecided?) on the tracker crawl with men and women lines. It's weird to see it, and weirder still that that's what they chose to track. Hmmmm.

Oh man, she's coming out swinging! Looks like her tactic is going to be using certainty of delivery to cover a lack of knowledge. Hmmm, remind you of anyone who rhymes with Tush? So she hasn't answered a question yet, just "talking from the heart." What the hell is that about? Why are people going for this? Great god, why is the tracker going positive for her? Do they not realize she is spouting populist crap and NOT ANSWERING the questions? AT ALL? She is not even trying to stay on the same topic, just launching into canned bits and not even necessarily about the same thing the question was about. What the fuck? Why are they not getting this? Why is Joe staying pretty neutral and hers is going up? Is she a witch? Oh no! Without Obama on the other side to speak calmly and intelligently, my aneurysm is starting to go! AAAhhhhhh!

Let's try this. Everyone who has ever had the fantasy that if they would just get a regular joe with common sense into DC he would clean up that town and Jimmy Stewart will save us all from hell and the handbasket, raise your hand. Yeah, I'm typing one handed right now. I loved that movie Dave. Super stuff. But come on. Do we really want "Joe Six-Pack"...her words, not mine, to be our leader? The whole argument is that people identify with her. Remember the Roseanne Barr show? People loved that show because they identified with the family. Would you honestly want her or the husband in our highest office? If you would, get off my blog!

Oh man, of course she doesn't want to talk about the causes of global warming! She knows she'll sound like a moron! Oh god please ask her about dinosaurs...please please please! Yowza, did she say nucular? Great christ, is the bar so low for her that we're going to call it a win if she doesn't vomit on herself?

Am I an optimist, or is the approval line starting to get a little more normal. Are people realizing she's full of shit? Are they not buying the McCain as change song and dance? I have just recently begun to believe we may see government who are not only not actively trying to do harm, but actually trying to do good. I'm not ready to trust the public yet though. Sorry, public. I've seen too much of how you treat your kids.

Did Joe have his eyes done? I was kinda hoping he'd call her "Cupcake" or something. You know the right is gonna scream sexism anyway, why not have a little fun with it? If you're going to be hung, why not enjoy the crime? Gosh, I sure swallowed it whole when he talked about the whole god-forbid thing. That seemed so genuine.

Oh shut it. Wasilla Main street my ass.
Here's what I don't get. Her whole thing is that she's so personable. So approachable. I get it. I can see that. I don't believe it to be genuine, but I honestly don't think genuine is a prereq for that. If people believe you are personable, close enough. But here's the thing. I think Biden is a kick in the head. I love this guy. He has a great story, wonderful smile, sparky sense of humor, straight talk. He's fantastic on the relatable front. And Obama? Day-um! Love that guy! His smile is 10 miles wide, he's spicy and has a great sense of fun. I know he has to be all professional and all, but I really think people would love to see his loose side. Remember how people loved Dole after the election when he went on SNL?

Ugh, shining city on a hill? Really? Do you think she really believes that, or wants joe six-pack to run outside and wave his Dixie flag around and shoot his gun in the air and scream, "God bless America..these colors don't run!"
Oh, he just choked himself up! You could see sincerity in him as he just tried to pull it together. That was a lovely real moment.
Darn, no one peed themselves. They're gonna call it a tie. Dang! No one will mention she never answered a question or gave a policy answer. She will get credit for ot stripping naked and screaming Freebird! and everyone will say she pulled it off. Hooray for making the election a game and not a real decision.
Hope you enjoyed yourself!

This is another of my favorite songs. And a great video too! This is the best disfunctional relationship song ever. My favorite thing about it is everyone knows exactly what he's talking about. The one who is so awful for you and you just can't get enough of them. "You bear the mark of the beast..you're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!" I love it.

Something else fantastic...my favorite late night guy is Craig Ferguson. Not as smug as the other guys, a little manic, and an accent! The best of all worlds!