Another year over, and a new one just begun

So, how was your 2010? Good stuff here. Here's hoping the next is lovely for you and yours. From one of my very favorite authors, Neil Gaiman: I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

I’m sure people who don’t have kids will disagree with me, but ding dong Christmas is totally a kids' holiday! As a mom I enjoy it more watching it all through the Trueb’s eyes. This year was no different.

I came home from the last day of school brimming with the holiday spirit. We’d spent the whole day doing projects, watching Elf, drinking hot cocoa. It was aces. Which is lucky, because Gordon and Emma decided sugar cookies were the plan for baking this year. The last time I made sugar cookies, I swore I would never do it again! Seriously, they’re fantastic for the first three, then it’s just an eternal slog through never-ending blank, androgynous, buttery canvases mocking you with their infinite number of not doneness. They take forever! So I told them it sounded like a great daddy/daughter project. Of course, three cookies in, they’re whining about how they’ll never get done and they need help…. Argh! Look how pretty they came out though! And perfect for Head and Rosie’s 10^th Annual neighborhood party. Trueby brought a buddy this year and they had a blast. Even with a very strictly imposed cookie limit. How can you go wrong with a carousel of cookie plate filling?

In other surprising news ~ I like caroling! Never would have thought it. The Fawcetts were brilliant enough to organize a party this year with caroling around to the neighbors. It was great! We had kids, dogs, candles, the works. People would stand on porches to listen and cheer. Loved loved it.

We went to the lights of Christmas in Stanwood for the fist time. No idea why we didn’t hit this before. Yeah, I do. It’s in Stanwood! But totally worth it. Santa train blew a tire right before our turn, True didn’t even care. There was so much going on she didn’t even miss it. The highpoint for her was talking to Bruce the Spruce, a fake tree with stuck on eyes and lips who makes shmucky jokes and entrances the kids. The high point for me was when Lauren asked if the girls thought he was interactive. Em said he was and I laughed at her, “You don’t even know what interactive means!” She says, “It means like you ask him a question and he answers you.” What the what!? Where did she learn freakin interactive? My kid is brilliant. Top that off with the fact that they had pretty good vegetarian chili and you’re sitting on a winner my friend.

This was the first year in a while we’ve been over to Wenatchee for the holiday. I forget how gorgeous Leavenworth is when they do it all up in lights. We stopped to gape and to sled a little. Christmas Eve at grandma’s was shortish but nice. Emma got to open one present and was a little disappointed in her inability to master the BopIt I think. I also think it’s worth mentioning that I currently hold the high score on said present.

We went back to the hotel which had a pool that only started to try to counterbalance the weird smell in the room. In the morning, she was flabbergasted to find Santa had come by in the night and left exactly the present she’d asked for! What are the chances? We got to grandma’s for breakfast and a little tussle over the time for dinner, but everyone made it out alive. Uncle Jamal and Jessica arrived with baby Leila and I’m afraid all the pictures from there on out involve the baby. Sweetie! Emma would not put her down. Which was lucky, because she hates to be put down. No shortage of people willing to hold the baby though.

Christmas day was lovely of course. Everyone got something nice they really liked. Emma scored huge. Uncle Craig and Karen came by for dinner and my “herbivore” daughter decided she likes roast beast after all. Shocker! And apparently, there’s a Lego game that brings out the cutthroat in your closest relatives. Good times.

The drive was a drag, obviously, but we had a good visit. Emma was disappointed we had to leave so soon. Next time, we’ll get more than 2 of the 4 together, that will be real party! Merry Christmas!

It's in the air!

If you heard about a cool light display place, with a Santa Train, tons of decorations, lots to do and see, but it was in Stanwood…you’d totally blow it off, right? Me too. But I was wrong! It was such a good time. Not only were there decorations and lights everywhere, but they had made whole scenes out of the lights. Landscapes, backgrounds, arches…it was gorgeous. There wasn’t a single tree that wasn’t done up to the nines. Loved it. There were more photo ops for two super cute girlies than you can imagine.

Emma was crazily excited to talk to Bruce the Spruce. She used his parting line, “Have a tree-mendous Christmas” for a good three days after. He was a hammy Ozarks comedian, but check out the pictures. Devil eyebrows, anyone?

Em says one of her favorite shots was this adorable little cottage. Check it out, they made hyacinths out of lights! I was digging on this little town. Dude! It’s in a mailbox!

So pretty, loved it! You know me, there were way more pictures :) You can see the rest here if you like.

Sounds like I'm trying to cover my ass

I've had an idea. You know how we (and maybe that's too general, but I'm going to assume you're on my side) constantly lament how teachers are not given enough credit for the job they do? Not just pay, but the way we look at the profession itself. As a society, we see teachers really as glorified babysitters, and sometimes not even glorified. Yesterday the Trueb popped out of nowhere with, "I am so glad Mrs. Ritchie is my teacher." My first instinct was to agree and say, "Me too. She is really nice." But then I had this weird epiphany. What is the first thing you ask your kid about the first day of school? "Do you like your teacher? Is she nice?" And we communicate with our kids on the level of whether or not they like the teacher, how nice/not nice she is. So, unintentionally, but surely, we are raising our kids connecting good teaching with being nice and when some of those kids become congresspeople and legislate for our country, they are thinking in their heads about all the nurturing, kind, supportive people watching kids all day. And isn't that just a subconscious step away from babysitter?
I replied to Em, "Yeah. She seems like she has a bunch of good ideas. I'll bet she can teach you a lot." My brilliant girl agreed with me and detailed a couple things she felt she had already learned from her.
Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe our country has more respect for teachers than I think. Maybe I actually am a glorified babysitter. But just in case I'm right, next time you almost ask your kids if they like their teachers, try asking them what they are learning from them instead. Let's see what happens.

Totally Diggin 2nd Grade

Wowza, the start of another school year! It's weird, I was thinking the other day that my school years are kind of cyclical. I go from September to June, then start over again. Granted, every year is different, and, here's hoping, I get better, but it's kind of marking time in a way, it's always the same thing.
For the Trube though, it's a linear model. She's moving from milestone to milestone, every year for her is one year closer to independence, to being on her own, to being out in the world and ready to grab it! I'm watching her move through these rites of passage and gain more and more confidence, become more and more capable. It's a time-honored parental lament I know, but that doesn't make it any less shocking when every once in a while you're jolted out of your everyday and literally watch your child grow up before your very eyes. That was today. I took her picture in her First Day of School Outfit and she popped a hip out and gave me a double thumbs up. It looked so much like a little girl emulating an older girl that I just wanted to scoop her up and press kisses all over her soft baby cheeks. Then she slung her backpack over one shoulder and suddenly looked so much like that older girl that I wanted to scream and pile books on her head to stop her from growing so rapidly that she is rocketing skyward like Alice in Wonderland! I got to take her in to school this morning and her teacher is freakin lovely. I adored how she treated the kids, still a little coddly, but a little grown-upy too. A great balance for second-grade I thought. Plus, we get to celebrate birthdays this year! Woo hoo! I stayed for a little while and got to help out with some stuff in the room. When I had to leave, she just waved and smiled and that was it. She's on her own in the big big world. I am so proud of my kid I could quite literally puke all over myself.

You Know That Bear in the Woods?

My lovely and delicate daughter had a friend over this week. They played and frolicked in the sylvan wilderness behind the house for the entire morning. Industriously they built a fort from fallen branches and lined the ground with fern fronds. They came inside and grabbed something and dashed right back outside. "She's been outside in the woods for the entire morning! I love it!" The thought was no more than 30 seconds old when she and her buddy plowed back into the house, Trueby clutching a garden trowel. "Mom! Mom! Guess what! We pooped in the woods and buried it! We're NATURE GIRLS!"
Oh my good lord...WHAT?! They came in the house for TP and then went back outside so they could dump in the greenspace!! If anyone says anything, I'm blaming the neighbor's dog! A little knowledge is a really dangerous thing.

I am Crazy Old

It's a little hard to reconcile the amount of loveliness that surrounded my birthday with the amount of craptacularness that it engendered. I am clearly and definitively outside of the bracket of young. In fact, I am in the hazy area that could start to be called middle-aged. Since my life plan from age 16 has been to hurl myself from a clifftop at 30, thus avoiding any semblance of proximity to old-age, finding myself in middle-aged territory is violently jarring.
However, the birthday itself was a kick. The day before I spent with science teachers and my astronaut. One friend was so sweet as to bring birthday cupcakes for me, and another treated me to lunch. Almost enough for me to forgive them for making the entire workshop sing "Happy Birthday" to me and make me just about want to sink through the floor.
Yesterday I went to work but didn't get squat done. Another friend brought lovely cookie treats and I was sung to again...but the cookies offset that nicely. I met the fam for dinner at Olive Garden and came home to surprise decorations and some rockin presents. Not only the Flight of the Conchords DVDs, but check out the awesome silhouette they made me. Love it! Round it out with some house stuff and some craft stuff and I'm calling it aces! Topped off with a seriously tasty chocolate cake, with ALL the candles, and I barely made it to bed.
My kids have been calling me Oldylocks forever, but now it's official. I'm elderly!

Fan Girl!

I'm so geeked out right now! I went to pick up the Trube from her daycamp today and who should stroll in to pick up his daughter as well? Ryan Stiles! I played it totally cool (Gordon doesn't buy that for a minute...and he's right. I was so giggly!) and pointed him out to Emma who immediately got giggly too, squealing, "Go say hi to him!" So when he finished watching his daughter on the climbing wall, we went over and said hi. I WAS super cool, shut it! And he was crazy nice. I told him we'd just seen the Who's Live show and loved it and showed her some YouTube clips that she loved and we both just wanted to say hi. He was lovely and asked her name and seemed genuinely glad to meet her. I asked her if she wanted to tell him her favorite part, it's the line she squawks at random and cracks me up every time. Check it out I told him about it and he totally laughed, "Oh yeah!" He was aces! I've seen him around town a couple times, but have never said hello. Totally glad we did!

Lovely Weekend!

Great sakes, what a good time! We had the best weekend. Friday night after school we got Trueby's favorite dinner, yep, Subway, and grabbed a good spot to watch the Jr. Ski to Sea parade. Her daycare had a float and she was excited to go, but they only took big kids. She was super disappointed, but she wasn't letting anything rain on her parade...sorry.Oh, but Saturday! We left Trueby for her first sleepover ever at Sarah's. Granted, with zero expectation that she'd make it through the night. But, whaddaya gonna do? We trucked over the border for a night out, baby! The rarity of not having the chick with us for dinner was overwhelming. I was so torn...do we go fancy, which we never do for the obvious reasons, or Indian, which we never do for other obvious reasons? Indian takes it! A tiny hole in the wall that was actually pretty good. I got a thali platter that could realistically fed 8 people. Yum! There was a totally Wonka candy store across the street and we got a little sweet there afterward. Nice.
And then...We finally got to go to the show I've been WAITING for! Eddie Izzard played at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre and sweet Marie, he was so great!
He built his act around the bizarre fact that when people don't believe in God, the burden of proof is on them to disprove the existence of an invisible, intangible, unprovable being. Funny stuff, right? Throw in jazz chickens, giraffe charades, Jeff Stone...of the Stone Age, and moon landings...Dude. Love that guy!
So we go home and the Trueb, against all odds, has fallen asleep at Sarah's house. Ruthlessly, we drag her home. Poor thing. I completely underestimated her. Thought she would never make it in a strange house, but she was out like a light. Now we'll have to set up another time for her to do it right. Sorry Chris and Lauren!
Sunday she got to celebrate a birthday with her super good friend and it was the most beautiful thing. All these happy seven-year olds and sunshine and a parade of them down the block with instruments and flags. Lovely.

If all that isn't enough to erase the horror of the science MSP last week, apparently I'm just gonna have to live with it until August.

Terrified!

Let me preface this with the acknowledgment that my child is the world's sweetest human being. At the Jr. Ski to Sea parade last night someone was tossing tokens for free cones at DQ to the kids and when she got two, she turned around and gave one to a kid behind her who missed out. Her first concern is always that everyone else is happy. Truly, a lovely child.
But apparently this chick has more of me in her than is good for either one of us. When it comes to me, 90% of the time I get the sunny sweet just like everyone else. But that 10% can shock the shirt off anyone's grandma! Today she actually took a hit herself just to spite me. It was worth that much to her. Granted, I may have provoked her a little bit.
We were running errands today and were shopping in Haggen. Afterward we're going to get lunch and go to Michael's to look for a craft she's been wanting. She fell into the "can I have.." pattern and I wasn't going for it. The kicker was in the florist section where she just "had to have" a blue "It's a boy" banner. Dude! She gets all whimpery and "you never let me have anything" and the whole spiel. As I'm unmoved, she ups it and starts really crying. Still not breaking me. Staring at me as though I'd just kicked a puppy she says, "I am really upset about this! You should be sad about that and I feel surprised and disappointed that you aren't!" I am convulsed in the bleach aisle. She is glaring at me furiously and I cannot stop howling with laughter. Poor kid.
On the way to the checkout line we see a bag of marshmallows that are as big as apples. I kid you not, it was incredible! Distracted from how cruel and unfeeling her mother is, she seems to be back to herself. But out in the car she asks to switch my CD for hers. I tell her it's my turn while we're out, she can have hers on the way home. "Well, let's go home right now then." Really? You don't want to go to Michael's? You don't want to go to lunch? Imperiously she hands me Best of Silly Songs and sniffs, "We can get something at home."
It was important enough that she stick it to me that she gave up the two things she'd been looking forward to all morning. When she hits pre-teen, no one is going to believe me how awful it is because she is the sweetest, most eager to please soul on the face of the Earth! One or the other of us is not going to make it to her adulthood with our intellect fully intact!

Loser Mom

Dude! Could I lose any more credibility as a parent? After work today I went to pick up the chick from her playdate...and when my lovely friend answered the door, her face made it very clear I was nowhere near my kid. "Emma's not here, is she?" Apparently the email reply I typed in response to her suggesting the playdate never got sent. I was looking in my inbox at her letter and thought it was weird I didn't see the little "replied" arrow next to it, but also thought she would think I was an utter moron if I sent her 80 replies so just left it alone. Glad I didn't look like a moron or anything. Duh.
I know, not a huge deal. But you don't know about last week yet. After work I went to pick up the chick from her playdate...sound familiar? Yeah...different friend though. Every time we drive past this place, Emma trills, "That's Madeline's house!" Guess what. It's not Madeline's house. So I knock on the door and when a totally strange man answers, I'm a little thrown, but no big. "Hi. I'm Emma's mom." "Oh, hello." And we stare at each other for a couple beats. Crap. "This isn't Madeline's house, is it?" I have no idea where my kid is. Nice. But, since I know I'm in the right vicinity, I go door-to-door looking for my child. Luckily, I hit it on the second try...and don't think they didn't think that was the best story of the day. Should a dork like that even be raising a child?

Seven Whole Years Old!

Shockingly, my daughter is seven. I was staring at her this morning. Looking at her sturdy legs, her straight back, her smooth cheeks. While seven is a crazy long time, it is a shockingly brief amount of time for her to have gone from the infant prised out of me to this strong and capable girl. I can't quite reconcile it. I guess it goes with the territory, huh?
So in celebration of that craziness, we have eaten more cupcakes than any human should consume. The day before her actual birthday, Jamal and Jessica came up and had dinner with us, decorating cupcakes afterward. It was very cozy, I loved it. On her day, we went out Tino's for dinner, came back for cake and presents. Very nice. Then today, we had the actual ruckus. She and her buddies trekked down to Mt. Vernon and Jungle Playland for the party. It's a fun place. Slides, ball pit, inflatable maze, you know the drill. Very cool. The topper for my girlie had to be when the fire alarm went off. You know how hyper she is about fire...something went screwy with their dryer and somehow the alarm was triggered. We all got hustled outside and Trueby held it together pretty well. A few tears, little clingy after, probably get a nightmare tonight, but ok overall. She's seven after all!
I'm super proud of her choice to forgo gifts and ask instead for donations to a charity that helps out children in emergency rescue situations. They've been snagged from unsafe homes and don't have anything to call their own so this organization puts together duffles of blankets, teddy bears, art supplies etc. Just things they can grab onto and feel safe. Our generous friends donated some really great stuff and we'll pack it all up and hustle it along. Nice.
So it's official. She's seven. Her birthdays always make me go a little Cat's in the Cradle and I can only see this getting worse as she gets older. Good times, good times!

Soggy California

Sunny California is quite the misnomer today. Which is just as well since I'm here for a conference and am supposed to be concentrating on the task at hand! The hotel is a few steps less cush than the January conference with the legendary bathroom mirror, but awfully nice nonetheless. The conference may not be top of my list, but how can I argue with a trip that gets me in a bed all by myself, minus a six-year old kicking me in the back for two nights AND a visit with my brother's super sweet family? Aces, baby!
My room is in the "tower" and there's a gorgeous European bakery I have to walk past every time I go to my room. After about seven trips past this joint, it finally occurs to me that Hey! I really should pick up dessert for when Khalil comes to get me tonight! Hooray! In case you're wondering, I got an apricot strudel, cappuccino pyramid cake, and this honey...hazelnut chocolate mousse. Throw in some sugar cookies for the kiddies, and we're off to the races!
Emma and I shopped for a little something to bring for each cousin, and while Anwar and Sophia's gifts were well received, with such good manners!, neither was as exciting as the silly straw glasses for Gabe. Watching the drink bubble around past their goggly eyes was adorable! Love it.
Super selection of Thai food (Khalil even badgered me into trying mango shrimp after he picked out all the shrimp for me) for dinner, lovely company. Even made sitting through five lectures at 90 minutes each worth while!

good parenting

Here's a story. As I'm on my way to pick up the girl for basketball yesterday, I see that I have a message on my phone from a number I don't recognize. The message runs Hello, this is the principal from school, this is NOT an emergency, but I want to discuss a conversation I had with Emma this morning. Again, NOT an emergency. Call back...yadda yadda.

What the hell? If it isn't an emergency, why in world would my perfect child's principal need to talk to me? I leave a message with him, freak out Daddy seeing if he knows anything, and zing along the lake to pick up the kid for grilling.

When I walk in her daycare, she looks at me and her face just about breaks my heart. I do the usual "Hi honey, let's get going for basketball" and her face crumples up and she says she has an earache. The instant we step outside, she just dissolves, wailing "I got in trouble!" and starts sobbing! She is terrified to tell me what happened but finally sobs out, "I didn't want you to be mad so I l-l-lied! I wasn't going potty!"

A little background: last week she told us twice that she'd had to get a late note because she'd spent so much time in the bathroom before school that she'd been tardy. She is a total bathroom lounger so we didn't think anything of it, just telling her she had to go before school and yadda yadda yadda.

So after a LOT of cajoling, "I'm not mad, but you have to tell me what happened," and "I'm going to talk to the principal anyway, you might as well tell me your side," etc, she finally spilled that she and a friend have been sneaking into a bathroom stall in the morning and playing Littlest Pet Shop and writing on the wall of the stall!

I talked to her principal after dropping her off crying in the gym and apparently (and sadly this is the part that worries most after the lying) they got nailed because MY kid was dopey enough to SIGN HER NAME TO THE GRAFFITI! Oh the agony of having the ding dong delinquent for my kid!

I think we may have done alright in dealing with it. She wrote a letter of apology to her custodian for creating extra work and is going to do some community service by cleaning up the playground on Sunday. We told her she isn't being punished, she's being given a chance to right a wrong. She asked what that meant and we talked about it and I think she gets it.

I'm pretty sure she's been scared straight, but then, I was pretty sure she was straight to begin with! My little Miss Rule Follower! I'm so shocked. She was beating herself up pretty badly last night, couldn't eat dinner, no energy for anything. We talked about not making choices that make her feel that bad but I just wanted to cry when she said, "I don't even want to be alive." Poor kid. She hates that her parents, and worse I think, her teacher, don't think she's the Golden Child anymore. I am glad, I guess, that it's (hopefully!) done with. The principal clearly had no idea who I am, and I like it that way just fine! My goal is to get through public school without any principals' phone numbers looking familiar on my phone!