Well earned

I don't know which is more significant...that when we drove to Seattle for the flight, it was actually trying freaking hard to snow, or that the flight attendant on the plane was the twin of the parent most causing me to need vacation right now. Either way, I was immensely glad to wake up this morning tangled up in sheets and sweaty 5-year old in San Diego, baby! It was actually hot! Granted, the high today is forecast at 63, but after home I'll take it!
We're in a scrubby hotel, clean, but definitely just for sleeping. And the pool. But we're on our way to breakfast and then SeaWorld, woo hoo!
Although The Man is constantly trying to jinx it, we've had a crazy easy trip so far. No lines, not small lines...NO lines! First out of the baggage chute, seats all together, walked out of baggage claim smack into our shuttle, picked up the rental car and it's a darling little Prius! Whee! I'm expecting Shamu to eat my kid just to keep balance in the universe. I'll let you know how it goes, have fun in the snow Suckers!

I have a problem

Depending on your point of view it's anywhere from not even on the map, to wow lady, get some help. Here's the thing. In my daughter's kindergarten class....I'll say that again, KINDERGARTEN class...they self pace to read these little paper books with phonetic practice that get gradually more difficult. So there are 30 in this particular series and my kid has 2 to go. Plowing through them! I asked her today what happens when she gets to the end of the 30 and she says you start new books. I say, "Are you sure? Did anyone else start new books?" She lists like four kids in her class who are on the next set and, cue the psycho music, I actually in my head go, "Well! We better step this up!" Some demented weird little part of my brain got all competitive about it! My steadying husband was right there and I turned to him and go, "I have a problem." I told him what I thought and he's all, "Yeah you do. Chill" Which is all well and good and nothing serious and we all have impulses and yadda yadda yadda...BUT! There's always a bloody but isn't there? Just so you know, I recognize what I just typed and my first instinct (a good one this time) was to reword it, but come on...that stays. ANYWAY! What makes this not an isolated little psycho moment is that today I became an official Soccer Mom. I know!
Last night we spent 80 hundred hours rounding up so tiny cleats, bubble gum pink shin guards/socks/legwarmers and Beckham shorts. She looks so adorable. I can't stand it. She's on a team with all her little crew but they all played together last fall so she's a bit behind starting out. Totally going for it though. Check out that wind! And she didn't complain at all, loving it! Her coach is lovely, someone we already know and I'm so glad it's her. She'll be wonderful! So outside of my having to buy a minivan now, here's the thing. Trueby didn't get on the team at first. She was put on another team and I had to be the obnoxious Soccer Mom calling the registrar, poor man lives down the street from us and I have his phone number! I totally felt like my nails were manicured and I had a sweater tied around my shoulders saying "This is not acceptable. It will be my way or I will have your ass," in a pinched face voice. The truth is a friend offered to drive her to the practices and if she was on another team we wouldn't have been able to get her there and she couldn't play. I swear it was for a good reason! But I felt filthy. I know it's not a big deal. But if you line up all the little things in a line...it starts to look kinda like a big thing doesn't it? Yep, you know what I mean. (She just asked if I am "typing randomly." Randomly sounds very funny coming from a five-year old.) So I'm on way down the slippery slope. If you see other signs in my behavior, feel free to point them out. Just know, I'll tell you I love you to your face and then call you a filthy name on the bleachers while serving orange slices to the soccer players.

Oh sweet jebus

ok, I know it's kicking a downed horse...or feeble old crippled man...but what the hell are the republicans doing?

oh, COME ON!

Yeah, I'm stuck at the bottom of the hill. I left work in pouring rain. As I drove home, a truck went by with 3 inches of snow on it. Hmmm, I thought, that could be bad. Then, a freakin snow plow drives by me! Oh hell no! Yep. By the time I got here, flakes as big as quarters and fluffy as cartoon feathers were so thick on the ground I spun out like a tenth of the way up the very first hill! Luckily a friend was right there too and between her ice-melt and another guy's shoving, we got my car off the road and in between two other stranded cars and started walking up the hill. My lovely husband chained up and switched on the 4 wheel drive to come meet me on the way up. Suck.
So we get home and I tell True she won't be going to school tomorrow. "YES!!!!!!" she shrieks, like a ten-year old skater boy. Both our districts are 2-hours back today. Lovely. At least it doesn't tack more on in June. Silver lining, right? Yeah, remind me of that when I go get my car and it has another one bashed into it. Nice.

more parenting concerns

I usually have a movie going while I'm at work, just like to have some noise to distract me from the fact that I am in a huge scary dark building etc. Since I'm usually hard at work and not paying attention, I tend to choose throwaway movies that I'm not really dying to see, since I miss most of it. Today though, I got totally sucked in to the one I picked. It's a documentary called American Teen that follows a group of seniors through their last year of high school in Warsaw, Indiana. Wowza. Not only does it pull you right back into high school, and it's cool to watch and go, "I remember that," or "I remember him," but to see it with a teacher's and a parent's eye was jarring. I remember high school. Every moment was so dire, every experience carried the weight of the world. There was no gray area, it was all triumph or tragedy. While that is exhilarating and fun to watch, it was so hard to see those kids as students. They were reading magazines or texting in class, destroying each other socially just for fun, making choices that were coloring their entire futures right in front of my eyes. Then to see them as children! One parent flat out told his kid, "I can't afford college. This is the game where they will be watching you. If you don't get a scholarship, it's the Army." And to watch that boy cry in the locker room after the game. One dad said to his kid, during a phone call explaining a brink of suspension, "That was a stupid thing to do. But if you can't be smart enough to do it and not get caught..." Really? It totally hit me as both a mom and a teacher. I had an epiphany today. I was feeling extra feisty because a colleague got hung out to dry for voicing to our admin what all of us as science teachers have been feeling for years now; that science gets shafted in our district. I thought this morning that I work in a very small community where a large percentage of the population are products of this very school system. So we have the benefit of being able to just look around and see how we're doing. And it ain't great. We clearly do not have a focus on scientific thinking or informed citizenry. In the midst of this snide mental comment, I got hit with, "Holy mother. I am responsible for creating functioning actual people." Which you always know and are totally dragged around by, but to think...this town is a direct result of what I am doing in my room every day. Well, not yet, but assuming I don't get my job jerked from under me by the massive budget cuts we're facing next year, it soon will be. So in 8 years when I drive to work and see a majority of the campaign yard signs are still for the republican ticket because abortion and gay marriage are still percieved as the major issues facing the country....well, what will that say about my teaching?Pick up a copy of that movie. Watch it just for fun and to remember high school, or watch it as a parent and seriously think through the words that come out of your mouth the next time you are talking to your children. I sure hope I am able to. shut it...just because I don't doesn't mean I can't.

Things that make me go hmmm....shit

Check out my reader. I was making dinner and she's sitting there plowing through a real book. With words like "Madagascar" and "while." Now, I'm not saying she was reading those words, but she read most of them, and the weird ones like those she either asked for help, or pulled them from the context. And I am busy thanking the reading gods. Cuz you and I both know...if the reading is under control, the rest can be dealt with. If the reading is hard...everything is hard! Whew!!!

So I go to pick her up today and I notice the T-shirt on one of the workers. It says, "Younglife," which is kinda like a mini-mission joint. Convert them young sort of thing. My initial reaction was what my initial reaction always is...I think mostly on point but, admittedly, a trifle judgemental. My secondary reaction was brutal. "Oh shit! I've handed my kid to these people!!!" What if she comes home from college and tells me about the great time she had at The Inn Tuesday night? What if she shows me her purity ring? What if I actually have this conversation while driving in the car

Her (about some nutjob thing involving a squirell's tail that I had agreed with absent-mindedly): I finally found someone who believes me!

Me: Honey, I always believe you. That's why it's important to always tell the truth, so people can believe what you say (mental pat on the back for reinforcing a lesson we've been discussing lately. Way to grab a teachable moment, mom!)

Her: You don't believe me about god.

Me: *dammit* What do you mean honey? I believe in god. Just not the same way The Firs does.

Her: Well, we (oh stab me in the heart. WE? She has aligned with them against me in this) believe Jesus died for us and we should pray to him and to god.

This went on and on and, sadly, didn't get any better. She knows I have a different belief system than her daycare. (Her flippin DAYCARE!!!) She has chosen sides. Which is fine. She's five. They aren't preaching chicken beheadings...leaving that to the Palin school of theology. But see, here is my point. Where does she become an alien one of them that I cannot stand to be around? And yes, that's hyperbole, but that's my favorite form of communication. Of course I would never not want to be around her, but is it possible she becomes someone I lump into the "them" category? And yes, I KNOW it's my problem and it's unfair and yadda yadda yadda...but come on. Do you think Cheney's mom saw him coming? Was there a point where she went, "I've lost him." Or, did she dress him up in a black fedora of death and put him in a wheelchair for his 4th birthday and cross her fingers he'd turn out like he did. I don't know. Do you?

I feel old

and not a little dirty. Apparently I'm too old and crotchety for the newfangled technology kids these days are into. Nice to know.

On the bright side, I am the proud proprietor of a good chunk of the student performers in the latest Missoula Children's Theater production to hit my school. It's nothing short of amazing. On Monday, 2 adults and a small beater pickup rolled into town and auditioned 95 kids, kindergarten-fifth grade after school. They assigned parts and in no more than five days of after school rehearsals turned out a musical extravaganza I feel I got every one of my 10 buck's worth from. Trueby and her two buddies had a great time and so did I. It must be said, I was swelling with pride for the ones I shouldn't, but do take credit for. True was so excited that they were excited to see her. Mom, they keep saying hi to me! Yeah, I talk about you just a little bit. She's like a celebrity at my school!

We had dinner after, two moms and I. Doing our best to keep the girls from being "those girls" at the restaurant. I love getting these three together. They are so easy and natural together. Just like family. I love it!

Speaking of....check out this sky. Hell is the obvious choice, but seriously, it's heavenly isn't it?

Then there's this

I just adore watching her suck up a smoothie. She just adores it. She looks like such a little girl. These are the expressions that are going to stick in my mind when she graduates and becomes an adult. A friend just told me his daughter will start high school next fall at the high school where we went. I can't imagine how weird that must be.

In case you're wondering what the best song in the world is right now, check this out. I can't get enough of this guy at all, Greg Laswell, and this song in particular. I literally listen to it in a non-stop loop as I'm correcting honest to god mountains of science. I even dream it since it's so embedded in my brain.

This is good too. Geraldine by Glasvegas. I love me my Scots!