There Is No Spoon

Preaching to the Choir

2011-11-25T10:46:00.001-08:00

It's often made clear that I married exactly the right guy for me, and totally the wrong guy for me. This morning is a prime example. I woke up with a rant fully formed in my subconscious. I was ready to leap onto a soapbox and preach. I had examples, evidence, analogies, and volume in the hopper. One sentence in I get, "You're preaching to the choir."
Dammit! No argument stopper is more effective than not having an argument. I was hot to discuss the evils of Black Friday. How yes, everyone wants to give their child that magical Christmas morning with piles of packages and overflowing stockings. How we all want to demonstrate to our families that we love them by lavishing them with gifts. But really, I would rather gift my child with an independence from consumerism. I wish for her an economy that isn't split between benefiting the wealthiest top earners at the expense of the entire rest of the country. I want more than anything for her not to live in a nation where capitalist corporations dictate legislation.
I woke up thinking about the Occupy protesters. They have been camping outside, being randomly arrested and pepper sprayed, to make the point that 1% of our national population have acquired an insane majority of the wealth of our country and are abusing the power it has accrued for them. Then, come the day after Thanksgiving, a flood of shoppers rushes into that very system and fortifies it, reinforces it, proves the power that those corporations hold and that they do indeed, have us exactly where they want us. We will grumble about it, but they can do anything the hell they want and we will take it. There are the 1% reaping all the benefit of our system, the 1% trying to change it, and the 98% keeping it running exactly as it always has.
Before I can rage about any of this he pipes in with, "You're preaching to the choir." Really? Yeah, I'm glad we hold this foundational belief in common, but really? You can't let me screech for a while? You know how happy hyperbole makes me.

Road Rash

2011-07-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

She finally let me take a picture! Kinda had to trick her a little bit though. So, Sunday night there was a giant commotion of screaming and crashing and burning rubber...well, not that last, but still. The Trube laid herself out on her bike, face first and skidding on asphalt, and good lord what a mess! Her buddy had been riding behind her and went down in the wreckage but only hit palms and knees. My girl came in so bloody is was like a horror movie. Her lips are all cut up inside, front tooth knocked loose, elbow and knee are literally oozing through the super giant band aids we had to go buy to cover the massive skin grafts. It was so awful! She's still gimping and stiff but recovering. I've been DYING to take pictures but she wasn't having it. She's totally embarrassed that her face looked like ground beef. This is bugging her a lot because today she went to daycamp and she said everyone is going to ask what happened and she'll be embarrassed by all the attention and feel bad. So I suggested we make a T-shirt she can wear to explain it, and that way no one will need to ask. She loved the idea and I got to take a picture of the shirt without her cursing my camera! Win win!

Most Awesome Kid in the Universe

2011-05-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

I know you know that I know how great my kid is. But seriously, check this out. So I am completely floored by the magnificence that is Hugh Jackman's Oscar opener. Need a reminder? Here you go.

Right? I know. I often screech the last line when I've been more awesome than usual, or just to annoy my kid since it's hysterical and I love to yell. So the other day, she comes home with this that she made for me.

I cannot express how much I love my rockstar kid.

And now she knows

2011-04-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

As is often the case, I have to preface this with a little background. The Trube loves to watch the parts of Glee where Kurt and Blaine sing. She's fascinated with Kurt, thinks he's adorable, and totally digs on the a cappella scene. Who doesn't like singing and dancing? She was naturally curious when Blaine laid a nice sloppy one on Kurt and we had the discussion about what gay means. I told her sometimes boys love boys and sometimes girls love girls. We love people for who they are inside, not what they look like outside. She was totally down with that and we moved on.

So today she was telling me how she's got it all planned out. She's going to marry the boy she first declared her intentions with in kindergarten. I said maybe, but told her she hasn't even met most of the people she's going to know in her life. "One day, you're going to meet a boy you think is so kind, and so smart, and so funny, and so cute. Or maybe a girl." She says, "I don't want to be gay." I asked her why not, and she says, "We would have too many kids! What if I have three kids, and the girl I'm gay with has three kids...that would be six kids!" Oh crap, cogitated I. The moment is upon me. I have put it off for eight years come Tuesday. Every time we come close to the subject, and there have been some mighty close shaves, I distract her with something shiny. But I gotta bite the bullet at some point!

So I did it. I had a little trouble getting started, kinda hedged around how in all plants and animals (I know not ALL but she's in second grade!) there are male and female for a reason, but once I got it going it was ok. When I got to the actual mechanics part, she made the requisite horrified/disbelieving/appalled face and said, "I am NOT doing that." But I got it all in! She's not as well informed as her friend who got the whole skinny, down to genetics, from her health teacher mom in kindergarten, but she's not totally in the dark anymore. I asked her if she had any questions and she goes, "Do you wanna play Monopoly?" Yes, darlin. Yes I do. Now that I've deprived you of your innocence, I will crush you with the racecar.

Teacher Thinks Kids Shouldn't Read!

2011-02-01T02:51:00.000-08:00

Hey, here's some great news. Little pun. The local newspaper ran a giant article about science in the classroom, and how we need to change the way we teach kids and how, best of all, my school district is right at the forefront of this all this positive movement! In fact, yours truly was right in the middle of it. Two giant pictures of my classroom, kids engaged, working their hearts out, talking about how I collaborate with Western (that would be my astronaut, thank you very much) to bring the most up to date research based strategies to my classrooom. It was great! Except for two, small sentences that maybe could have been worded a little more diplomatically. But were, of course, totally valid and explained very clearly. Which, of course, was not printed. Yeah. Upshot? I'm the only teacher on the planet who thinks kids should not be taught to read. Nice.

Another year over, and a new one just begun

2010-12-31T10:44:00.000-08:00

So, how was your 2010? Good stuff here. Here's hoping the next is lovely for you and yours. From one of my very favorite authors, Neil Gaiman: I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

2010-12-27T12:52:00.001-08:00

I’m sure people who don’t have kids will disagree with me, but ding dong Christmas is totally a kids' holiday! As a mom I enjoy it more watching it all through the Trueb’s eyes. This year was no different.

I came home from the last day of school brimming with the holiday spirit. We’d spent the whole day doing projects, watching Elf, drinking hot cocoa. It was aces. Which is lucky, because Gordon and Emma decided sugar cookies were the plan for baking this year. The last time I made sugar cookies, I swore I would never do it again! Seriously, they’re fantastic for the first three, then it’s just an eternal slog through never-ending blank, androgynous, buttery canvases mocking you with their infinite number of not doneness. They take forever! So I told them it sounded like a great daddy/daughter project. Of course, three cookies in, they’re whining about how they’ll never get done and they need help…. Argh! Look how pretty they came out though! And perfect for Head and Rosie’s 10^th Annual neighborhood party. Trueby brought a buddy this year and they had a blast. Even with a very strictly imposed cookie limit. How can you go wrong with a carousel of cookie plate filling?

In other surprising news ~ I like caroling! Never would have thought it. The Fawcetts were brilliant enough to organize a party this year with caroling around to the neighbors. It was great! We had kids, dogs, candles, the works. People would stand on porches to listen and cheer. Loved loved it.

We went to the lights of Christmas in Stanwood for the fist time. No idea why we didn’t hit this before. Yeah, I do. It’s in Stanwood! But totally worth it. Santa train blew a tire right before our turn, True didn’t even care. There was so much going on she didn’t even miss it. The highpoint for her was talking to Bruce the Spruce, a fake tree with stuck on eyes and lips who makes shmucky jokes and entrances the kids. The high point for me was when Lauren asked if the girls thought he was interactive. Em said he was and I laughed at her, “You don’t even know what interactive means!” She says, “It means like you ask him a question and he answers you.” What the what!? Where did she learn freakin interactive? My kid is brilliant. Top that off with the fact that they had pretty good vegetarian chili and you’re sitting on a winner my friend.

This was the first year in a while we’ve been over to Wenatchee for the holiday. I forget how gorgeous Leavenworth is when they do it all up in lights. We stopped to gape and to sled a little. Christmas Eve at grandma’s was shortish but nice. Emma got to open one present and was a little disappointed in her inability to master the BopIt I think. I also think it’s worth mentioning that I currently hold the high score on said present.

We went back to the hotel which had a pool that only started to try to counterbalance the weird smell in the room. In the morning, she was flabbergasted to find Santa had come by in the night and left exactly the present she’d asked for! What are the chances? We got to grandma’s for breakfast and a little tussle over the time for dinner, but everyone made it out alive. Uncle Jamal and Jessica arrived with baby Leila and I’m afraid all the pictures from there on out involve the baby. Sweetie! Emma would not put her down. Which was lucky, because she hates to be put down. No shortage of people willing to hold the baby though.

Christmas day was lovely of course. Everyone got something nice they really liked. Emma scored huge. Uncle Craig and Karen came by for dinner and my “herbivore” daughter decided she likes roast beast after all. Shocker! And apparently, there’s a Lego game that brings out the cutthroat in your closest relatives. Good times.

The drive was a drag, obviously, but we had a good visit. Emma was disappointed we had to leave so soon. Next time, we’ll get more than 2 of the 4 together, that will be real party! Merry Christmas!

It's in the air!

2010-12-23T16:56:00.001-08:00

If you heard about a cool light display place, with a Santa Train, tons of decorations, lots to do and see, but it was in Stanwood…you’d totally blow it off, right? Me too. But I was wrong! It was such a good time. Not only were there decorations and lights everywhere, but they had made whole scenes out of the lights. Landscapes, backgrounds, arches…it was gorgeous. There wasn’t a single tree that wasn’t done up to the nines. Loved it. There were more photo ops for two super cute girlies than you can imagine.

Emma was crazily excited to talk to Bruce the Spruce. She used his parting line, “Have a tree-mendous Christmas” for a good three days after. He was a hammy Ozarks comedian, but check out the pictures. Devil eyebrows, anyone?

Em says one of her favorite shots was this adorable little cottage. Check it out, they made hyacinths out of lights! I was digging on this little town. Dude! It’s in a mailbox!

So pretty, loved it! You know me, there were way more pictures :) You can see the rest here if you like.

Sounds like I'm trying to cover my ass

2010-09-18T16:01:00.000-07:00

I've had an idea. You know how we (and maybe that's too general, but I'm going to assume you're on my side) constantly lament how teachers are not given enough credit for the job they do? Not just pay, but the way we look at the profession itself. As a society, we see teachers really as glorified babysitters, and sometimes not even glorified. Yesterday the Trueb popped out of nowhere with, "I am so glad Mrs. Ritchie is my teacher." My first instinct was to agree and say, "Me too. She is really nice." But then I had this weird epiphany. What is the first thing you ask your kid about the first day of school? "Do you like your teacher? Is she nice?" And we communicate with our kids on the level of whether or not they like the teacher, how nice/not nice she is. So, unintentionally, but surely, we are raising our kids connecting good teaching with being nice and when some of those kids become congresspeople and legislate for our country, they are thinking in their heads about all the nurturing, kind, supportive people watching kids all day. And isn't that just a subconscious step away from babysitter?
I replied to Em, "Yeah. She seems like she has a bunch of good ideas. I'll bet she can teach you a lot." My brilliant girl agreed with me and detailed a couple things she felt she had already learned from her.
Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe our country has more respect for teachers than I think. Maybe I actually am a glorified babysitter. But just in case I'm right, next time you almost ask your kids if they like their teachers, try asking them what they are learning from them instead. Let's see what happens.

Totally Diggin 2nd Grade

2010-09-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

Wowza, the start of another school year! It's weird, I was thinking the other day that my school years are kind of cyclical. I go from September to June, then start over again. Granted, every year is different, and, here's hoping, I get better, but it's kind of marking time in a way, it's always the same thing.
For the Trube though, it's a linear model. She's moving from milestone to milestone, every year for her is one year closer to independence, to being on her own, to being out in the world and ready to grab it! I'm watching her move through these rites of passage and gain more and more confidence, become more and more capable. It's a time-honored parental lament I know, but that doesn't make it any less shocking when every once in a while you're jolted out of your everyday and literally watch your child grow up before your very eyes. That was today. I took her picture in her First Day of School Outfit and she popped a hip out and gave me a double thumbs up. It looked so much like a little girl emulating an older girl that I just wanted to scoop her up and press kisses all over her soft baby cheeks. Then she slung her backpack over one shoulder and suddenly looked so much like that older girl that I wanted to scream and pile books on her head to stop her from growing so rapidly that she is rocketing skyward like Alice in Wonderland! I got to take her in to school this morning and her teacher is freakin lovely. I adored how she treated the kids, still a little coddly, but a little grown-upy too. A great balance for second-grade I thought. Plus, we get to celebrate birthdays this year! Woo hoo! I stayed for a little while and got to help out with some stuff in the room. When I had to leave, she just waved and smiled and that was it. She's on her own in the big big world. I am so proud of my kid I could quite literally puke all over myself.

You Know That Bear in the Woods?

2010-08-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

My lovely and delicate daughter had a friend over this week. They played and frolicked in the sylvan wilderness behind the house for the entire morning. Industriously they built a fort from fallen branches and lined the ground with fern fronds. They came inside and grabbed something and dashed right back outside. "She's been outside in the woods for the entire morning! I love it!" The thought was no more than 30 seconds old when she and her buddy plowed back into the house, Trueby clutching a garden trowel. "Mom! Mom! Guess what! We pooped in the woods and buried it! We're NATURE GIRLS!"
Oh my good lord...WHAT?! They came in the house for TP and then went back outside so they could dump in the greenspace!! If anyone says anything, I'm blaming the neighbor's dog! A little knowledge is a really dangerous thing.

I am Crazy Old

2010-08-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

It's a little hard to reconcile the amount of loveliness that surrounded my birthday with the amount of craptacularness that it engendered. I am clearly and definitively outside of the bracket of young. In fact, I am in the hazy area that could start to be called middle-aged. Since my life plan from age 16 has been to hurl myself from a clifftop at 30, thus avoiding any semblance of proximity to old-age, finding myself in middle-aged territory is violently jarring.
However, the birthday itself was a kick. The day before I spent with science teachers and my astronaut. One friend was so sweet as to bring birthday cupcakes for me, and another treated me to lunch. Almost enough for me to forgive them for making the entire workshop sing "Happy Birthday" to me and make me just about want to sink through the floor.
Yesterday I went to work but didn't get squat done. Another friend brought lovely cookie treats and I was sung to again...but the cookies offset that nicely. I met the fam for dinner at Olive Garden and came home to surprise decorations and some rockin presents. Not only the Flight of the Conchords DVDs, but check out the awesome silhouette they made me. Love it! Round it out with some house stuff and some craft stuff and I'm calling it aces! Topped off with a seriously tasty chocolate cake, with ALL the candles, and I barely made it to bed.
My kids have been calling me Oldylocks forever, but now it's official. I'm elderly!

Fan Girl!

2010-08-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

I'm so geeked out right now! I went to pick up the Trube from her daycamp today and who should stroll in to pick up his daughter as well? Ryan Stiles! I played it totally cool (Gordon doesn't buy that for a minute...and he's right. I was so giggly!) and pointed him out to Emma who immediately got giggly too, squealing, "Go say hi to him!" So when he finished watching his daughter on the climbing wall, we went over and said hi. I WAS super cool, shut it! And he was crazy nice. I told him we'd just seen the Who's Live show and loved it and showed her some YouTube clips that she loved and we both just wanted to say hi. He was lovely and asked her name and seemed genuinely glad to meet her. I asked her if she wanted to tell him her favorite part, it's the line she squawks at random and cracks me up every time. Check it out I told him about it and he totally laughed, "Oh yeah!" He was aces! I've seen him around town a couple times, but have never said hello. Totally glad we did!

Lovely Weekend!

2010-05-23T19:53:00.000-07:00

Great sakes, what a good time! We had the best weekend. Friday night after school we got Trueby's favorite dinner, yep, Subway, and grabbed a good spot to watch the Jr. Ski to Sea parade. Her daycare had a float and she was excited to go, but they only took big kids. She was super disappointed, but she wasn't letting anything rain on her parade...sorry.Oh, but Saturday! We left Trueby for her first sleepover ever at Sarah's. Granted, with zero expectation that she'd make it through the night. But, whaddaya gonna do? We trucked over the border for a night out, baby! The rarity of not having the chick with us for dinner was overwhelming. I was so torn...do we go fancy, which we never do for the obvious reasons, or Indian, which we never do for other obvious reasons? Indian takes it! A tiny hole in the wall that was actually pretty good. I got a thali platter that could realistically fed 8 people. Yum! There was a totally Wonka candy store across the street and we got a little sweet there afterward. Nice.
And then...We finally got to go to the show I've been WAITING for! Eddie Izzard played at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre and sweet Marie, he was so great!
He built his act around the bizarre fact that when people don't believe in God, the burden of proof is on them to disprove the existence of an invisible, intangible, unprovable being. Funny stuff, right? Throw in jazz chickens, giraffe charades, Jeff Stone...of the Stone Age, and moon landings...Dude. Love that guy!
So we go home and the Trueb, against all odds, has fallen asleep at Sarah's house. Ruthlessly, we drag her home. Poor thing. I completely underestimated her. Thought she would never make it in a strange house, but she was out like a light. Now we'll have to set up another time for her to do it right. Sorry Chris and Lauren!
Sunday she got to celebrate a birthday with her super good friend and it was the most beautiful thing. All these happy seven-year olds and sunshine and a parade of them down the block with instruments and flags. Lovely.

If all that isn't enough to erase the horror of the science MSP last week, apparently I'm just gonna have to live with it until August.

Terrified!

2010-05-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this with the acknowledgment that my child is the world's sweetest human being. At the Jr. Ski to Sea parade last night someone was tossing tokens for free cones at DQ to the kids and when she got two, she turned around and gave one to a kid behind her who missed out. Her first concern is always that everyone else is happy. Truly, a lovely child.
But apparently this chick has more of me in her than is good for either one of us. When it comes to me, 90% of the time I get the sunny sweet just like everyone else. But that 10% can shock the shirt off anyone's grandma! Today she actually took a hit herself just to spite me. It was worth that much to her. Granted, I may have provoked her a little bit.
We were running errands today and were shopping in Haggen. Afterward we're going to get lunch and go to Michael's to look for a craft she's been wanting. She fell into the "can I have.." pattern and I wasn't going for it. The kicker was in the florist section where she just "had to have" a blue "It's a boy" banner. Dude! She gets all whimpery and "you never let me have anything" and the whole spiel. As I'm unmoved, she ups it and starts really crying. Still not breaking me. Staring at me as though I'd just kicked a puppy she says, "I am really upset about this! You should be sad about that and I feel surprised and disappointed that you aren't!" I am convulsed in the bleach aisle. She is glaring at me furiously and I cannot stop howling with laughter. Poor kid.
On the way to the checkout line we see a bag of marshmallows that are as big as apples. I kid you not, it was incredible! Distracted from how cruel and unfeeling her mother is, she seems to be back to herself. But out in the car she asks to switch my CD for hers. I tell her it's my turn while we're out, she can have hers on the way home. "Well, let's go home right now then." Really? You don't want to go to Michael's? You don't want to go to lunch? Imperiously she hands me Best of Silly Songs and sniffs, "We can get something at home."
It was important enough that she stick it to me that she gave up the two things she'd been looking forward to all morning. When she hits pre-teen, no one is going to believe me how awful it is because she is the sweetest, most eager to please soul on the face of the Earth! One or the other of us is not going to make it to her adulthood with our intellect fully intact!

Loser Mom

2010-05-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

Dude! Could I lose any more credibility as a parent? After work today I went to pick up the chick from her playdate...and when my lovely friend answered the door, her face made it very clear I was nowhere near my kid. "Emma's not here, is she?" Apparently the email reply I typed in response to her suggesting the playdate never got sent. I was looking in my inbox at her letter and thought it was weird I didn't see the little "replied" arrow next to it, but also thought she would think I was an utter moron if I sent her 80 replies so just left it alone. Glad I didn't look like a moron or anything. Duh.
I know, not a huge deal. But you don't know about last week yet. After work I went to pick up the chick from her playdate...sound familiar? Yeah...different friend though. Every time we drive past this place, Emma trills, "That's Madeline's house!" Guess what. It's not Madeline's house. So I knock on the door and when a totally strange man answers, I'm a little thrown, but no big. "Hi. I'm Emma's mom." "Oh, hello." And we stare at each other for a couple beats. Crap. "This isn't Madeline's house, is it?" I have no idea where my kid is. Nice. But, since I know I'm in the right vicinity, I go door-to-door looking for my child. Luckily, I hit it on the second try...and don't think they didn't think that was the best story of the day. Should a dork like that even be raising a child?

Seven Whole Years Old!

2010-04-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

Shockingly, my daughter is seven. I was staring at her this morning. Looking at her sturdy legs, her straight back, her smooth cheeks. While seven is a crazy long time, it is a shockingly brief amount of time for her to have gone from the infant prised out of me to this strong and capable girl. I can't quite reconcile it. I guess it goes with the territory, huh?
So in celebration of that craziness, we have eaten more cupcakes than any human should consume. The day before her actual birthday, Jamal and Jessica came up and had dinner with us, decorating cupcakes afterward. It was very cozy, I loved it. On her day, we went out Tino's for dinner, came back for cake and presents. Very nice. Then today, we had the actual ruckus. She and her buddies trekked down to Mt. Vernon and Jungle Playland for the party. It's a fun place. Slides, ball pit, inflatable maze, you know the drill. Very cool. The topper for my girlie had to be when the fire alarm went off. You know how hyper she is about fire...something went screwy with their dryer and somehow the alarm was triggered. We all got hustled outside and Trueby held it together pretty well. A few tears, little clingy after, probably get a nightmare tonight, but ok overall. She's seven after all!
I'm super proud of her choice to forgo gifts and ask instead for donations to a charity that helps out children in emergency rescue situations. They've been snagged from unsafe homes and don't have anything to call their own so this organization puts together duffles of blankets, teddy bears, art supplies etc. Just things they can grab onto and feel safe. Our generous friends donated some really great stuff and we'll pack it all up and hustle it along. Nice.
So it's official. She's seven. Her birthdays always make me go a little Cat's in the Cradle and I can only see this getting worse as she gets older. Good times, good times!

Soggy California

2010-02-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

Sunny California is quite the misnomer today. Which is just as well since I'm here for a conference and am supposed to be concentrating on the task at hand! The hotel is a few steps less cush than the January conference with the legendary bathroom mirror, but awfully nice nonetheless. The conference may not be top of my list, but how can I argue with a trip that gets me in a bed all by myself, minus a six-year old kicking me in the back for two nights AND a visit with my brother's super sweet family? Aces, baby!
My room is in the "tower" and there's a gorgeous European bakery I have to walk past every time I go to my room. After about seven trips past this joint, it finally occurs to me that Hey! I really should pick up dessert for when Khalil comes to get me tonight! Hooray! In case you're wondering, I got an apricot strudel, cappuccino pyramid cake, and this honey...hazelnut chocolate mousse. Throw in some sugar cookies for the kiddies, and we're off to the races!
Emma and I shopped for a little something to bring for each cousin, and while Anwar and Sophia's gifts were well received, with such good manners!, neither was as exciting as the silly straw glasses for Gabe. Watching the drink bubble around past their goggly eyes was adorable! Love it.
Super selection of Thai food (Khalil even badgered me into trying mango shrimp after he picked out all the shrimp for me) for dinner, lovely company. Even made sitting through five lectures at 90 minutes each worth while!

good parenting

2010-01-29T04:27:00.000-08:00

Here's a story. As I'm on my way to pick up the girl for basketball yesterday, I see that I have a message on my phone from a number I don't recognize. The message runs Hello, this is the principal from school, this is NOT an emergency, but I want to discuss a conversation I had with Emma this morning. Again, NOT an emergency. Call back...yadda yadda.

What the hell? If it isn't an emergency, why in world would my perfect child's principal need to talk to me? I leave a message with him, freak out Daddy seeing if he knows anything, and zing along the lake to pick up the kid for grilling.

When I walk in her daycare, she looks at me and her face just about breaks my heart. I do the usual "Hi honey, let's get going for basketball" and her face crumples up and she says she has an earache. The instant we step outside, she just dissolves, wailing "I got in trouble!" and starts sobbing! She is terrified to tell me what happened but finally sobs out, "I didn't want you to be mad so I l-l-lied! I wasn't going potty!"

A little background: last week she told us twice that she'd had to get a late note because she'd spent so much time in the bathroom before school that she'd been tardy. She is a total bathroom lounger so we didn't think anything of it, just telling her she had to go before school and yadda yadda yadda.

So after a LOT of cajoling, "I'm not mad, but you have to tell me what happened," and "I'm going to talk to the principal anyway, you might as well tell me your side," etc, she finally spilled that she and a friend have been sneaking into a bathroom stall in the morning and playing Littlest Pet Shop and writing on the wall of the stall!

I talked to her principal after dropping her off crying in the gym and apparently (and sadly this is the part that worries most after the lying) they got nailed because MY kid was dopey enough to SIGN HER NAME TO THE GRAFFITI! Oh the agony of having the ding dong delinquent for my kid!

I think we may have done alright in dealing with it. She wrote a letter of apology to her custodian for creating extra work and is going to do some community service by cleaning up the playground on Sunday. We told her she isn't being punished, she's being given a chance to right a wrong. She asked what that meant and we talked about it and I think she gets it.

I'm pretty sure she's been scared straight, but then, I was pretty sure she was straight to begin with! My little Miss Rule Follower! I'm so shocked. She was beating herself up pretty badly last night, couldn't eat dinner, no energy for anything. We talked about not making choices that make her feel that bad but I just wanted to cry when she said, "I don't even want to be alive." Poor kid. She hates that her parents, and worse I think, her teacher, don't think she's the Golden Child anymore. I am glad, I guess, that it's (hopefully!) done with. The principal clearly had no idea who I am, and I like it that way just fine! My goal is to get through public school without any principals' phone numbers looking familiar on my phone!

10 Things in Random Order

2009-11-26T06:49:00.000-08:00

1. Clearly, my family. I really hope they know.
2. Individually, Emma True. Not only that she is brilliant, funny, kind, beautiful, perfect (she'll grow out of that whiny thing, right?) etc, but also that I haven't screwed her up... yet.
3. Gordon. You could not pick a more perfect family man out of a catalog. The best.
4. My friends. OK, I know it sounds trite now, but really!
5. My job. Even with the occasional blind-side, I really really like what I do.
6. Funny. It's what I love about my kid, my husband, my job and pretty much everything else.
7. My camera. It's fun, it helps me remember the important stuff and has changed the way I look out at stuff.
8. Everyone is happy and healthy. This is pretty cliche, but I really mean it.
9. This break, and that there's another one soon. I know, I know! But wowza, it is time to recharge!
10. All y'all. Have a great holiday and remember everything good in your lives!

Pippa Lonstocks

2009-11-21T19:58:00.000-08:00

So Trueby doesn't quite know what it's called, but she had a great time! We got to see META's production of Pippi Longstocking today with Sarah and Lauren. It was fun, we really liked it. The girls were amped to sit up in the balcony and we had good seats. I think Emma especially liked it. I had the kid who played Mr. Nilssen the monkey in kindergarten three years ago. He was so great! Emma kept saying, "There's the monkey!" every time he came on. At the end, we went into the lobby and I thought she'd take a picture with him. Absolutely not. Totally scared of the makeup. Sarah got in there though. Way to go, Logan!

On a totally unrelated note, I saw this driving to school in the morning. I don't know why I think it's so awesome. Maybe because I picture some little old man coming out one morning and his tree's over. "Damn it!" Heh heh, beavers are funny.

Master of All I Survey

2009-10-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

I had the very funniest bit of news shared with me today. I saw the mom of a student I had a few years ago who's in middle school now. So the mom says, "Oh! I totally have to talk to you!"
Apparently, the daughter had a geography assignment where she was supposed to make a poster of a place using all the geographical terms. So she created Shameemia! The mom said it was all about me, with Emma and Gordon as well. There's Emma Bay and stuff like that. First I laughed like crazy, but then I got a little weepy. The sweetness of it just made me so happy.
So if you're looking for a perfect vacation getaway, come see the white sandy beaches of Gordon Cove and the cool leafy solitude of Emma's Woods. Shameemia has it all,baby!

Losing to a Six Year Old

2009-10-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

Trueby and I are battling YET AGAIN over her cleaning up her room. She tends to stuff things in bags, bags in the closet, call it good. So she has this huge pile of books in a drawer in her closet because they are "special" and can't go on the bookshelf, which, incidentally is a lot harder for her to do than just dumping them in a drawer. Frustrated, I say, "What makes these books so special?" She starts flipping through the pile saying, "This one is Kevin Henkes and I love Kevin Henkes. This one is Halloween and it's almost Halloween...etc." She has a reason for every one of them. Then she gets to a Wild West retelling of Cinderella and I can tell it's a struggle, but she comes up with, "This one is a text connection." I jump in, "Dude, what text connection do you have with this book?" She says, "I have to work all the time." I retort, "You AREN'T working! You're just shoving stuff in the closet!" In the world's snarkiest half-under-her breath voice she mutters, "How about a bossy mom?"
I laughed so hard and so long I thought I was going to stroke out. Karma is a bitch.

First Day of First Grade...in room 1

2009-09-08T19:09:00.000-07:00

She's official. Big kid in the house, baby. Having been doing things all summer "because I'm a first-grader now," she has taken the cloak for real. The morning started with a visit from the Backpack Fairy. My kid is obsessed, to an alarming degree, with getting mail so when I asked her to put something in the recycle today she absolutely hooted with joy when she found a package on the doorstep addressed to her. She was so excited to tear into it, lovely. It was just some trinkety stuff; a necklace, a pencil, a treat, some stuff like that. And, the bane of primary teachers everywhere...a digital watch. She's been wanting one for a while and was thrilled to get it. Go ahead, ask me how long she kept it. Uh-huh. "Mrs. Stamey said to put it in my backpack." Were you messing with it like we talked about? "No! I just had to set the time. And see if the light worked." Uh-huh.

Anyway, so after the mandatory pictures, we packed her into the car and her dad and I, who had both taken time off to start her on this new adventure with our full support, drove her to school. All excited, we walked to her room, and were promptly booted out by her teacher! She wasn't allowing parents in the room, clean break and all that. Not knowing this, we hadn't said goodbye or anything outside and when poor Trueby realized we'd ditched her her little face just crumpled up. If you have a little kid you know that look, she's gonna cry but wants desperately to be brave and not do it in front of people. Heartbreaking. Later she says, "I wiped my tears on my jacket." That sentence makes my stomach hurt. Of course she's fine. Of course she has buddies in there and was immediately busy. She says she had a great day, loves first grade, and her teacher is "really nice." I know. But that didn't keep me from seeing that face all day long!
Here's the problem. Being a teacher, I am desperately afraid of being "That Mom." You know the one. Anything you do that isn't the way she would do it is wrong. Now, anyone who knows me in the slightest knows without a doubt I am the textbook definition of "That Mom." I accept that. I try crazy hard not to let it leak out on people, but I get that it's me. So when my eye almost explodes that I'm not able to settle my kid in and, knowing how she does not take well to change, help her feel secure and ready, I am able to admit that the teacher knows what she's doing, my kid is fine, everything is fine.....breathe deeply. But I certainly don't like it!

Firestarter

2009-09-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

I'm watching a movie and thinking about stuff, obviously, and this occurs me. You know how the discovery of fire has been heralded as this huge move forward in human evolution? It was the first step in lifting us toward this greater state, we started to become the chosen ones yadda yadda yadda. So, in my mind, it went like this: A few different people were able to keep their sticks on fire and everyone was good. But then someone figured out how to start a fire. This person ran hooting and hollering about how awesome she is all the way to her family and started up immediate "fire-starting" classes. Everyone learned it, rainbows burst across the heavenly firmament and humanity was that much far further along.
But what if that's not how it went? What if that first person hid themselves away in a cave somewhere and started charging others for little burning sticks to take home. What if he tried to set himself up as a deity and build a power base for himself and rip off all his fellow budding humans until some other skeez snuck in and spied on him and stole the secret. Then you have competing fire shops, but you're still paying for your dinner roaster. These two cave dwellers hate each other and who knows what kind of bloody battles ensued. What kind of war resulted, how much blood and hate until finally everyone knew how to make fire?
Ok, a little dramatic I know. I'm just feeling really frustrated at what I can't figure out if it's human nature or some human's nature. I may be an idiot,but I've always felt like if reasonable people have a common goal, they can sit down together and freakin work it out. Everyone will HAVE to give a little. It's what I teach my kid, my students, children the world over have this pounded into them. Then adults? We can't seem to get it together.

Me Money!

2009-08-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

My kiddo saw a lemonade stand on the side of the road a few days ago and, being obsessed as she is with making money, has been hatching a plan for her own stand ever since. So today she got down to it, squeezing the bejeebus out of lemons, adding the juice to simple syrup and after ice and more water she cranked out some really tasty lemonade. We dragged all sorts of crap down to the curb and set up a sign. Then waited. And waited. We don't live on a particularly busy street, so she decided to get on her bike and go drum up some business. She rounded up some buddies and our super sweet and supportive neighbors kicked in too. All in all she had a great time and best of all she thinks she bumped up a tax bracket. $2.50 baby! This kid's love of cash is just this side of worrisome. All entrepreneur, all the time!

Five Stages of August

2009-08-15T06:43:00.000-07:00

1. DENIAL: August doesn't mean anything. There are still four weeks of vacation left, that's forever to go. I'm not freaked out about school starting, I still totally feel like it's break. I'm not freaking out at all.
2. ANGER: How can it be cold and wet during my last month of break?! Why do I have to go to workshops and trainings during my vacation!? Why do I have to go into my room already?! This sucks!!
3. BARGAINING: Ok, I'll just go in for a few hours. Then I'll have fun, it'll still be like a day off. I'll just go to one of the training days, I'll just set up the desks, that's all. I'll spend all of Monday in the park and just go in Tuesday morning.
4. DEPRESSION: i can't believe it's over already. i haven't done anything yet. i'm not ready to go back!
5. ACCEPTANCE: It was cool to see everyone today. I'm excited about trying out those ideas we talked about. I wonder what my kids will be like this year? Hmmm, new school clothes.

Current status: about 70/30 between four and five

I am proud of my president

2009-08-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, not because of that. But come on, that's funny. Anyway. You may have heard about the health care debates (and I use that word very generously) going on recently. Little bit? Ok, so when widely-accepted-as nut cases like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin spout their literally crazy poison, you just go, "Whew. That chick (in both cases) is CRAZY with a side of dangerous. Who are the rubes listening to these people?" But then Obama goes out and says Sen. Charles Grassley is one of the reasons he's still hopeful about negotiations with Republicans and the next day that douchenozzle says, "Yes, you do need to be afraid of them pulling the plug on Grandma." What the hell, dude! He knows with unparalleled truth that is just not true. He knows it is! And tells people, YES, DO BE AFRAID. Come on, really? What kind of pictures must the insurance companies have of this guy? So, and I am incredibly proud of this, Jon Stewart made the same joke I did! After me! We've been talking about Obama's poll numbers, but I seriously feel he may be the first president whose opinion of the public must be dropping. Don't you just see him sitting that little oval room, looking at the picture of himself with a hitler 'stache shaking his head and just going Screw You All.
So then there's all this noise on the left that he should just take his majority and run. Just tell 'em how it's gonna be, boss. They're spouting idiocy, there is no point in trying to have an intelligent conversation with someone using the words "death panel." Come on! I gotta say, I definitely see the attraction there.
But here's the thing...and this just came to me about 3 am while checking out that very viewpoint at Salon.com...I think he really means it. I really think he does. I think he wants bi-partisanship during his watch. Not because it will look good 20 years down the road, but because it really is what is good for our country. I think he feels he can break through to the human beings behind the party facades and those people will eventually go, "You know, it doesn't actually hurt me to do what is good for the people I have been charged with protecting." I believe Obama really thinks it will, in the long (very long) run, be the best thing he could have done for his country. And that may be true. I don't even think I can imagine a congress where issues are debated on merit, and not on what is directly oppositional to your perceived opponent. Utopian I know. But why? Why does that idea sound silly and naive? Shame on all of us that it does. And it makes me really proud of Obama. Health care is needed to heal our sick, but an end to this endless, mindless screaming is needed to heal our country. Which we can then rename Obamatopia.

2009-06-23T23:42:00.000-07:00

I saw this on another blog...a nice train to jump on

TODAY
June 23rd/24th, 2009

Outside my window... the moonlight is glinting off my Obama sticker. Is it time to take that off? Maybe after my kid stops crowing "Barack Obama!" whenever she sees him.

I am thinking... that I am going to be complete deadweight at my workshop on teacher leadership tomorrow. How ironic

I am thankful for... summer vacation. More this year than any I can remember. Rough parents this time around.

From the kitchen... a pitcher of iced tea is calling me. But is quite possibly why I'm downloading Van Wilder to watch at almost midnight.

I am wearing...my very favorite summer pjs

I am creating... a real headache for myself when the alarm goes off

I am going... to try my very best to be pleasant to be around tomorrow. Outlook sketchy, but I'm going down trying

I am reading... The Big Picture: Reflections on Science, Humanity and a Quickly Changing Planet (David Suzuki); Everything is Illuminated (Jonathan Safran Foer); and a series of case studies for the workshop tomorrow

I am hoping... that my kiddo is happy. No one ever thinks they're permanently scarring their kid, do they?

I am hearing... Green Day...Viva La Gloria Love it!

Around the house... my family is sleeping. While I hate being insomniac, I love my house when my husband, daughter and yes, even the cat, are all sleeping peacefully around me.

One of my favorite things... listening to my kid talk in her sleep. The other night she freakin sang! God I love that kid

A few plans for the rest of the week... two more workshop days, then a planning day with my astronaut. Note the possessive. Excited for movie night and the return of Smit-Mo.

Call Walt!

2009-05-22T18:33:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! Bambi is in my driveway! We pulled in and wobbling across the gravel with nose almost to the ground and legs all askew and just barely holding it up was this teeny little scrap. We stopped in the middle of the drive and of course I yanked out the camera. He kind of collapsed down into the ferns and has just been laying there trying to get back to it for about half an hour. Mom is standing guard like a champ. True was enthralled, and, shocker I know, a little creeped out when she saw he was kinda gooey still. It is completely wigging me out! Some doe just squatted down in my front yard and squeezed out a totally new deer! In my yard!! I'm flabbergasted. It's so funny, I can't get over how Disney it really is. So bizarre

random is my favorite

2009-05-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the first one. This is my kid running to meet me when I picked her up after work. How much longer will my kid stop playing with all her friends on a playground and RUN to me when I show up? Gotta love that.
So how about this one? As I was driving to work I saw this coming at me. Dude. Just so you know, it was just a storage container someone had apparently set on fire? Weird sidenote, driving from work, I went past another group of sheriff cars and firetrucks with a totally smashed to hell car upside down in a ditch. Didn't take a picture of that though.
This isn't anywhere close to as cool as it should be. What made me pull over and try to get a picture was the mix of the new leaves in the evergreens. Just a week ago, it was all bare branches and now it's that gorgeous, luminous, fresh new green. Love that!
And this is just a weird cloud I thought looked freaky. Yep, that's pretty much my day.

Dammit!

2009-04-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

Speaking of that...yesterday one of my shining stars asked me, "Why can I say 'poop' but not the sh-word? And I can say 'sex' but not the f-word?" He wasn't going for smart-assity, he's a superstar and was genuinely curious about how some words become taboo and others not, and it just made me happy that he's out there thinking. That kid is going to do great things.
Anyway...back to the cursing. So you know how I swore I would never teach kindergarten? Anywhere but kindergarten. Uh-huh...five kindergarten classes later. So I guess I should have seen it coming. That's right. I am now a cat-owner. DAMMIT!! After almost a year of "absolutely not!!!!" and "You knew when you married me I DO NOT LIKE CATS!" and "Don't use the kid for your evil ends!!!" I finally caved to the two-prong attack of husband and daughter pleading. Meet Ringo The Storm Sherwin II
Poor little guy was a little shell-shocked last night. New home, surgery recovery, missing his four siblings, gotta be tough. But that is just pity for any creature in distress...NOT bonding with a freaking litter-box rat! Yeah, he's cute. Yeah, he's tiny. Yeah, he's sweet. But he's a cat! Husband and daughter are completely besotted. Well, True a 60/40 mix of enthralled and freaked the hell out, actually. Heh heh.

what have I been saying?

2009-04-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

Wednesday the Wast Day

2009-04-05T12:55:00.001-07:00

Woe is me it’s Wednesday! Not only is this the last day of our lovely vacation, but the weather is positively calling out for us to stay. It’s so sunny out you gotta have shades, and we’re going home to 40 degrees and rain. I’m so very ready for spring. To top it off, we spent today walking around Balboa Park. This is tragedy when facing a nasty weather situation at home. We had a few hours before the plane and hadn’t seen much of the city so we felt some sight-seeing was in order. We drove down to the middle of the park where the zoo and all the museums are and parked up a bit to walk down El Prado down to the center. It was breathtaking! Huge Spanish architecture with all the bells and whistles. Or I should say all the curlicues and statuary. You would have to see it to believe this place. Gardens and fountains and courtyards and the buildings! Simply amazing. The pictures don’t come anywhere close to doing it justice. Nowhere close. I can’t even describe how beautiful it was without going into meaningless hyperbole and hackneyed prose. The sun, the buildings, the blooming spring flowers…it was just stunning. Add onto that the museums. This is where the natural history museum, science center, art museums, train museums…on and on are located. When we got there and saw how brilliant the whole place was, I was kicking myself we didn’t leave a day to explore it. Even Trueby was completely content to wander around taking pictures and drinking in how great it was Too great.
As little as we wanted to, we had to get the rental car back and head to the airport. Our first flight to Phoenix was quick and uneventful. We had almost three hours to kill before the last leg to Seattle though, so had dinner, played around on the moving sidewalks and generally just killed time. After dinner I took a bathroom break, leaving my daughter in her father’s capable hands. When I came out, like two minutes later! they were surrounded by about five people and a ton of others were all looking on. What the hell?! My poor girl had wedged her lower leg between two seats and was completely and irrevocably stuck. We tried unsuccessfully to dislodge her while she, terrified, cried quietly and said, “I don’t want to be here forever,” in the most forlorn voice you’ve ever heard. A kindly passenger offered lotion and we slicked her all up, but no good. A custodian called for help and about five minutes later a bike cop showed up followed by four fully outfitted fire fighter paramedics. The very sweet cop got her out just as the paramedics showed up and the whole gate clapped for her. Poor little thing wanted to sink through the floor. To my very deep regret she wouldn’t let me take a picture of her in her pickle, so you’ll have to use your imagination. But trust me when I tell you it was a sight worth seeing.
Thus ends our wonderful vacation. Back to real life.

Tuesday Twos-day

2009-04-01T04:22:00.000-07:00

Today was all about the deuce. We spent our second day at SeaWorld, there were twice as many people there, and we spent the day following around two five-year olds! That’s right, two. One of True’s very best friends from school (How cute is this? They address each other as Boonini. It’s freaking hilarious) is also in San Diego vacationing this week. His dad works in my district too and this puts him in the suck of mismatched breaks as well.
We went back for our second day and were amazed by the number of people there. So many more than had been on the weekend. Not undoable, but a lot! We got there just as the dolphin show was starting and ran up to the stadium to take a gander. We got good seats, even coming in late. The dolphins were amazing, as you’d expect, but I was completely blown away by how high those things can jump! It was freaking incredible! Look how tiny the lady is in the picture.
With a little while before meeting Boonini, we went on the simulated helicopter ride again, which True liked a lot better this time, knowing what was coming. The animals weren’t as great this time though. The polar bear wasn’t out and there were people in the tank with the belugas feeding them so they just hung out over there. Still cool, but not as great as the first day.
Are you noticing the fantastic sun? With so many rays, we decided it had to be done. We were taking Trueby on the Atlantis ride. It’s a giant roller coaster with a couple steep curves, a 60 foot drop and a bunch of splash zones. Predictably, she was terrified, but took it like a trooper. I’m so awfully proud of her. The picture isn’t us, it’s her friend’s family later in the day.
Speaking of, we met up with them next. True was absolutely hopping with excitement. They dinked around a bit and played in the climbing area, on a giant tramp, and had a great time. Her class is doing a unit on penguins right now, so we took them through the penguin house and got some pictures to email to the suckers toiling away in school. She was excited to show him the pet show, which was definitely worth seeing again, so we went there next and it was too adorable to watch those two watch the animals. Loved it.
They went to scope some stuff while we went to lunch after, much better, and cheaper! today with wraps at a little corner tucked away. Afterward, we wanted to use our free ticket for the cable ride, but it was closed again. We took the alternative ride on the SkyTower and it was totally worth it. Just a giant rotating chamber that climbs an enormous pole and rotates to give a fantastic 360 view of the park and city. Really neat. Check how many people are watching the dolphins. Dang!
We met back up with Boonini and scoped the otters, then went on the shipwreck raft ride. Again with the wet! Look how excited these two are at the end of it. Granted, they’re soaked and it’s about 4:30 now. The next stop was a touch tank with manta rays. I’ve never seen them come up to the side and stick their heads out. It was bizarre! One came up, peeked around, then flapped a tsunami of water all down my side! I had just dried out from the raft ride! True and her dad thought it was hilarious. While they were still kinda wet, we watched her friends go down the roller coaster and then played a couple midway games. Both Booninis came away with a really cute, soft stuffed polar bear. Nice.
That about did us in. We were there forever!
It was dad’s turn to pick dinner, and of course he wanted Mexican. But we drove all over creation and couldn’t find one we could park within a zip code of. So we ended up at El Torito, a chain. Though I did get this super pic of my kid with bull horns. Such a good time. Tragic that tomorrow is our last day! Back to the vitamin D deficiency!

Monday at San Diego Zoo

2009-03-31T08:54:00.001-07:00

So in keeping with the theme of imprisoned animals, we spent vacation day two at the San Diego Zoo. And in keeping with the hypocrisy theme, it was lovely. I still don’t like it, but we paid them so I can’t say anything about it. Damn.
We started with a narrated bus tour, top deck, which True thought was amazing in itself, around the park to see what and where we wanted to go. As we were loading, this gigantic peacock kept calling and shimmying up his tail feathers. It was a great pre-funk. The tour was great, because it was so early a lot of the otherwise snoozy animals were up and about. We were in the very front seat on the uncovered top, it was pretty cool.
When we got off, we went first to the petting zoo. That’s a whole lot of goats my friend. Although, on the way there, we went through the reptile house and sweet Marie, anacondas are freakin huge! I know you think you know how big they are, but that thing was immense!
We also went through the insect house, and while I am normally left pretty cold by the creepy stuff, part of it was cool. They had a bee hive cutaway thingy that True was fascinated by. Just a solid wall of motion, a contradiction I know. And a tube where they were going in and out. It was cool to see. The part that got me though was the giant wall of leaf-cutter ant tunnels. It was too weird. They were so busy, and to see all their work and the giant pieces of leaves they hauled around. Amazing.
I also took a picture of this dead leaf. No I didn’t, that’s a mantis! How in the world does something evolve to look like a flippin dead leaf? That seems like a super conscious effort to me, not spontaneous birth defects. I am blown away by this.
The meerkats were cute as usual, but look at this picture. It looks like there’s no glass, and she’s feeding it from her hand. Heh heh.
Next was my second favorite part, the SkyFari. I know, dumb name for a sky tram, but it was the best. That thing cooked! No pansy sight seeing drift over the park, that sucker was transportation baby! It took about half the ride for True to unlock, but by then it was almost over and she didn’t get to look around much, not that she would have looked over the side or anything like that, but she did start moving her head. I’m kidding! She was nervous, but loved it.
We saw the polar bears, which got nothing on SeaWorld, though made for a good photo, and check out her intense interest in the zebras. Nice. The aviary part was cool too, super ugly harpy eagles and a condor that was all but screaming “Look at me!”
The primates were great, of course, and True went all Annie Lebowitz about it. Too cute. My very favorite part of the day was the gorillas. We got there just as the keepers were spreading branches and banana leaves around to feed them and then let them out. They were so cool! Kinda came out meandering around a bit, staring at the surge of people who pressed up on the glass, then the big guy grabbed a floppy old frond on a stick and chased some little guy off the spot he apparently wanted. He looked so funny running upright waving this branch all fierce. I loved it. A new baby was riding around on mom’s back and she came over to the glass and looked straight at True and set the baby down in front of her. It was astounding. The big one took off with branch again and waddled threateningly around the corner and gave the glass this “I'll kick your ass too” thump on his way by. It was hysterical. Loved it!
We came back to the hotel and swam in the pool for a while before going out to dinner at the Corvette Diner. It was great, a 50s theme with super friendly waitresses who danced and a very We're Going For Happy Days feel to it. We had a handful of straws thrown at us when we were first seated, which flabbergasted True, who neatly picked up each one. She had a bowl of super creamy mac n cheese while we snacked on Spicy Fried Pickles. If you ever get the chance, you totally have to try these, super good. My favorite part of dinner though was my drink. When we used to have to spend the days at the book store, we’d walk up a few blocks to the SuperJet market and I’d by a Green River in a bottle. Lime heaven. They had a soda fountain version here, with a million maraschino cherries in the bottom. Divine! It was a good time. We drove around the city a bit and headed home, wiped out! Another good day. Hope y’all are enjoying the freezing temperatures!

Sunday at SeaWorld

2009-03-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, have you been to SeaWorld? I have, for all my life, been violently opposed. Same thing with zoos. The whole "born free" thing. Enter the child. Like every single other thing in my life, I've had to reassess. How do I expect her to develop the appreciation for this planet, to understand the conectivity, if none of that stuff is real to her? I want her to be awed by all these things, and I don't want to drive to the freakin Arctic, so that lands us at SeaWorld. For all the stuff I have yet to be hypocritical about in the future, just shut it. Besides, the first thing we saw when we got there was a guy vacuuming a Clydesdale, so it can't be all bad, right?

The first ride was a simulated helicopter travesty to an Arctic research base. One of those strap you in and jiggle you all over in sequence with the screen. It was way cool. True was gripping our hands like table vises!It was great, all set up like a research base and even had ice walls through one part. Nice. When we got to the underwater viewing, she was mesmerized by a beluga that was pressing up against the glass where a baby was pressing her hand to our side. It was so amazing...it just kept pressing its head up and I swear they look like they're smiling. Then we watched a polar bear try and catch its lunch. It was hilarious, it totally dove at the window, mouth agape and slid down the glass after a fish it just missed. This part was rocking.There was a simply ginormous walrus swimming around that we could watch above and below the water level. True was astounded by him, he was so incredibly vast. We saw the penguins too. This was so funny, we were on one of those moving sidewalk things and all just standing in the same pose, cameras up, sliding motionless past all these huge and tiny tuxedos sliding motionlessly past us. Weird. The manatees were just amazing in how large and graceful they are. For something called a sea cow, they definitely earned the name.

The shark tunnel was cool, but mostly because it made me giggle so much thinking how freaked out Jamal would be by it. These are for you, Uncle Jamal.

Everyone told us we had to catch the pet show. That it sounded sketchy, but was totally worth it, so we went. And it was totally worth it! All these rescued animals performing tricks in front of a heaving, screaming mob. And yes, that is a cat leaping into a person's arms. Nuf said.

We had lunch, FIFTY FIVE DOLLARS!!! and watched Shamu. This was another way cool one. I can't believe the whole human-animal thing. It's incredible. Those animals are nothing short of amazing. Seriously, took my breath away. We went on one ride, a river rapids raft dealie, got wet, good times. I found out I'm an aquarium snob. Honestly, I couldn't possibly care less about the stupid octopus or fish or anemone. For crying out loud, I was a little embarrassed with how little patience I had with that part! We couldn't go on the cable ride because of the breeze, but instead caught a 4-D Sesame Street show. That is their term, not mine, but apt. It had amazing 3-D and stuff like water spray, bubbles, sound effects etc to really pull you in. Freaked the shit out of True. She HATED it! It was too funny. Elmo's prancing around squeaking about imagination and my kid is hiding her face in her jacket trembling. Poor thing.

We were pretty beat when we left, but totally ready to go back for our second day and see all the rest, plus get in on the rides. Yay Spring Break!

Well earned

2009-03-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know which is more significant...that when we drove to Seattle for the flight, it was actually trying freaking hard to snow, or that the flight attendant on the plane was the twin of the parent most causing me to need vacation right now. Either way, I was immensely glad to wake up this morning tangled up in sheets and sweaty 5-year old in San Diego, baby! It was actually hot! Granted, the high today is forecast at 63, but after home I'll take it!
We're in a scrubby hotel, clean, but definitely just for sleeping. And the pool. But we're on our way to breakfast and then SeaWorld, woo hoo!
Although The Man is constantly trying to jinx it, we've had a crazy easy trip so far. No lines, not small lines...NO lines! First out of the baggage chute, seats all together, walked out of baggage claim smack into our shuttle, picked up the rental car and it's a darling little Prius! Whee! I'm expecting Shamu to eat my kid just to keep balance in the universe. I'll let you know how it goes, have fun in the snow Suckers!

I have a problem

2009-03-18T18:10:00.000-07:00

Depending on your point of view it's anywhere from not even on the map, to wow lady, get some help. Here's the thing. In my daughter's kindergarten class....I'll say that again, KINDERGARTEN class...they self pace to read these little paper books with phonetic practice that get gradually more difficult. So there are 30 in this particular series and my kid has 2 to go. Plowing through them! I asked her today what happens when she gets to the end of the 30 and she says you start new books. I say, "Are you sure? Did anyone else start new books?" She lists like four kids in her class who are on the next set and, cue the psycho music, I actually in my head go, "Well! We better step this up!" Some demented weird little part of my brain got all competitive about it! My steadying husband was right there and I turned to him and go, "I have a problem." I told him what I thought and he's all, "Yeah you do. Chill" Which is all well and good and nothing serious and we all have impulses and yadda yadda yadda...BUT! There's always a bloody but isn't there? Just so you know, I recognize what I just typed and my first instinct (a good one this time) was to reword it, but come on...that stays. ANYWAY! What makes this not an isolated little psycho moment is that today I became an official Soccer Mom. I know!
Last night we spent 80 hundred hours rounding up so tiny cleats, bubble gum pink shin guards/socks/legwarmers and Beckham shorts. She looks so adorable. I can't stand it. She's on a team with all her little crew but they all played together last fall so she's a bit behind starting out. Totally going for it though. Check out that wind! And she didn't complain at all, loving it! Her coach is lovely, someone we already know and I'm so glad it's her. She'll be wonderful! So outside of my having to buy a minivan now, here's the thing. Trueby didn't get on the team at first. She was put on another team and I had to be the obnoxious Soccer Mom calling the registrar, poor man lives down the street from us and I have his phone number! I totally felt like my nails were manicured and I had a sweater tied around my shoulders saying "This is not acceptable. It will be my way or I will have your ass," in a pinched face voice. The truth is a friend offered to drive her to the practices and if she was on another team we wouldn't have been able to get her there and she couldn't play. I swear it was for a good reason! But I felt filthy. I know it's not a big deal. But if you line up all the little things in a line...it starts to look kinda like a big thing doesn't it? Yep, you know what I mean. (She just asked if I am "typing randomly." Randomly sounds very funny coming from a five-year old.) So I'm on way down the slippery slope. If you see other signs in my behavior, feel free to point them out. Just know, I'll tell you I love you to your face and then call you a filthy name on the bleachers while serving orange slices to the soccer players.

Oh sweet jebus

2009-03-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

ok, I know it's kicking a downed horse...or feeble old crippled man...but what the hell are the republicans doing?

oh, COME ON!

2009-02-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm stuck at the bottom of the hill. I left work in pouring rain. As I drove home, a truck went by with 3 inches of snow on it. Hmmm, I thought, that could be bad. Then, a freakin snow plow drives by me! Oh hell no! Yep. By the time I got here, flakes as big as quarters and fluffy as cartoon feathers were so thick on the ground I spun out like a tenth of the way up the very first hill! Luckily a friend was right there too and between her ice-melt and another guy's shoving, we got my car off the road and in between two other stranded cars and started walking up the hill. My lovely husband chained up and switched on the 4 wheel drive to come meet me on the way up. Suck.
So we get home and I tell True she won't be going to school tomorrow. "YES!!!!!!" she shrieks, like a ten-year old skater boy. Both our districts are 2-hours back today. Lovely. At least it doesn't tack more on in June. Silver lining, right? Yeah, remind me of that when I go get my car and it has another one bashed into it. Nice.

more parenting concerns

2009-02-22T12:56:00.000-08:00

I usually have a movie going while I'm at work, just like to have some noise to distract me from the fact that I am in a huge scary dark building etc. Since I'm usually hard at work and not paying attention, I tend to choose throwaway movies that I'm not really dying to see, since I miss most of it. Today though, I got totally sucked in to the one I picked. It's a documentary called American Teen that follows a group of seniors through their last year of high school in Warsaw, Indiana. Wowza. Not only does it pull you right back into high school, and it's cool to watch and go, "I remember that," or "I remember him," but to see it with a teacher's and a parent's eye was jarring. I remember high school. Every moment was so dire, every experience carried the weight of the world. There was no gray area, it was all triumph or tragedy. While that is exhilarating and fun to watch, it was so hard to see those kids as students. They were reading magazines or texting in class, destroying each other socially just for fun, making choices that were coloring their entire futures right in front of my eyes. Then to see them as children! One parent flat out told his kid, "I can't afford college. This is the game where they will be watching you. If you don't get a scholarship, it's the Army." And to watch that boy cry in the locker room after the game. One dad said to his kid, during a phone call explaining a brink of suspension, "That was a stupid thing to do. But if you can't be smart enough to do it and not get caught..." Really? It totally hit me as both a mom and a teacher. I had an epiphany today. I was feeling extra feisty because a colleague got hung out to dry for voicing to our admin what all of us as science teachers have been feeling for years now; that science gets shafted in our district. I thought this morning that I work in a very small community where a large percentage of the population are products of this very school system. So we have the benefit of being able to just look around and see how we're doing. And it ain't great. We clearly do not have a focus on scientific thinking or informed citizenry. In the midst of this snide mental comment, I got hit with, "Holy mother. I am responsible for creating functioning actual people." Which you always know and are totally dragged around by, but to think...this town is a direct result of what I am doing in my room every day. Well, not yet, but assuming I don't get my job jerked from under me by the massive budget cuts we're facing next year, it soon will be. So in 8 years when I drive to work and see a majority of the campaign yard signs are still for the republican ticket because abortion and gay marriage are still percieved as the major issues facing the country....well, what will that say about my teaching?Pick up a copy of that movie. Watch it just for fun and to remember high school, or watch it as a parent and seriously think through the words that come out of your mouth the next time you are talking to your children. I sure hope I am able to. shut it...just because I don't doesn't mean I can't.

Things that make me go hmmm....shit

2009-02-17T19:22:00.001-08:00

Check out my reader. I was making dinner and she's sitting there plowing through a real book. With words like "Madagascar" and "while." Now, I'm not saying she was reading those words, but she read most of them, and the weird ones like those she either asked for help, or pulled them from the context. And I am busy thanking the reading gods. Cuz you and I both know...if the reading is under control, the rest can be dealt with. If the reading is hard...everything is hard! Whew!!!

So I go to pick her up today and I notice the T-shirt on one of the workers. It says, "Younglife," which is kinda like a mini-mission joint. Convert them young sort of thing. My initial reaction was what my initial reaction always is...I think mostly on point but, admittedly, a trifle judgemental. My secondary reaction was brutal. "Oh shit! I've handed my kid to these people!!!" What if she comes home from college and tells me about the great time she had at The Inn Tuesday night? What if she shows me her purity ring? What if I actually have this conversation while driving in the car

Her (about some nutjob thing involving a squirell's tail that I had agreed with absent-mindedly): I finally found someone who believes me!

Me: Honey, I always believe you. That's why it's important to always tell the truth, so people can believe what you say (mental pat on the back for reinforcing a lesson we've been discussing lately. Way to grab a teachable moment, mom!)

Her: You don't believe me about god.

Me: *dammit* What do you mean honey? I believe in god. Just not the same way The Firs does.

Her: Well, we (oh stab me in the heart. WE? She has aligned with them against me in this) believe Jesus died for us and we should pray to him and to god.

This went on and on and, sadly, didn't get any better. She knows I have a different belief system than her daycare. (Her flippin DAYCARE!!!) She has chosen sides. Which is fine. She's five. They aren't preaching chicken beheadings...leaving that to the Palin school of theology. But see, here is my point. Where does she become an alien one of them that I cannot stand to be around? And yes, that's hyperbole, but that's my favorite form of communication. Of course I would never not want to be around her, but is it possible she becomes someone I lump into the "them" category? And yes, I KNOW it's my problem and it's unfair and yadda yadda yadda...but come on. Do you think Cheney's mom saw him coming? Was there a point where she went, "I've lost him." Or, did she dress him up in a black fedora of death and put him in a wheelchair for his 4th birthday and cross her fingers he'd turn out like he did. I don't know. Do you?

I feel old

2009-02-08T18:58:00.000-08:00

and not a little dirty. Apparently I'm too old and crotchety for the newfangled technology kids these days are into. Nice to know.

On the bright side, I am the proud proprietor of a good chunk of the student performers in the latest Missoula Children's Theater production to hit my school. It's nothing short of amazing. On Monday, 2 adults and a small beater pickup rolled into town and auditioned 95 kids, kindergarten-fifth grade after school. They assigned parts and in no more than five days of after school rehearsals turned out a musical extravaganza I feel I got every one of my 10 buck's worth from. Trueby and her two buddies had a great time and so did I. It must be said, I was swelling with pride for the ones I shouldn't, but do take credit for. True was so excited that they were excited to see her. Mom, they keep saying hi to me! Yeah, I talk about you just a little bit. She's like a celebrity at my school!

We had dinner after, two moms and I. Doing our best to keep the girls from being "those girls" at the restaurant. I love getting these three together. They are so easy and natural together. Just like family. I love it!

Speaking of....check out this sky. Hell is the obvious choice, but seriously, it's heavenly isn't it?

Then there's this

I just adore watching her suck up a smoothie. She just adores it. She looks like such a little girl. These are the expressions that are going to stick in my mind when she graduates and becomes an adult. A friend just told me his daughter will start high school next fall at the high school where we went. I can't imagine how weird that must be.

In case you're wondering what the best song in the world is right now, check this out. I can't get enough of this guy at all, Greg Laswell, and this song in particular. I literally listen to it in a non-stop loop as I'm correcting honest to god mountains of science. I even dream it since it's so embedded in my brain.

This is good too. Geraldine by Glasvegas. I love me my Scots!

some cool stuff

2009-02-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

You know what's cool? This is Black History month. Awesome. My favorite part is its proximity to the election hoopla so it is really highlighted. It is so cool. My kids only know the concept through the lens of downtrodden, history, struggle. Now we are looking at triumph, challenge met, excellence. It is too damn cool.

Something else cool? My kid made freakin butter. I went to pick her up and she's shaking the bejeesus out of a baby food jar of cream, "Like the pie-neers did for their butter." And lick my ass if we didn't spread it on bread for dinner that night. Awesome.

Something else cool? I drive to work in sunrise again. Slap me around and call me Nelly it's gorgeous around here. Look at this monster.

Who are the idiots choosing to live anywhere else?

You need another one? I am teaching science. I was at a meeting today and I am the only one passionate about this. I am the only teacher on the face of the earth who cares that science is being taught. Ok, maybe there is one other, but I don't know her. Look at those boys. They are focused, engaged, on task. They are completely involved in what they are doing. One of those kids has a serious autism diagnosis and spends much of his day in the lifeskills room. But I'm teaching science and they are into it! And my kids? They think I fucking rock at it. Yesterday a girl told me I am "not like any other teacher I have ever known." Shut up, I'm taking it as a compliment. I am turning out 75 kids this year who had an adult tell them what they think matters, they are responsible for what happens in the world around them, and they can make that look however they want. I did that.

Something else? You remember the Neil Gaiman book I raved about? The Graveyard Book? Just got the Newberry for this year. Excellence rewarded. It truly is a new day in America.

Want more? My computer is infected with something!!!! and I don't have any idea what the hell is wrong but have amazed myself with how many things I have tried to fix it. I got some skillz. Ok, admitedly, nothing has worked. And I have absolutely no idea what the problem is. And I'm completely shooting in the dark. I resemble a blind man flailing in free fall. But I have thought of a lot of stuff to try! Ok, maybe this one is reaching a bit.

Still. It's a good day today. And the best part of that is that it is a totally normal day. Completely inside the ordinary. Nice.

cuz I'm your friend

2009-01-28T22:25:00.001-08:00

Hello public. In case I didn't get you a Christmas/birthday/whatever gift, here's one now. Actually, just becuase I'm a decent human being I will do this for you. Ready? Here goes.

FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T GO SEE REVOLUTIONARY ROAD!!!!!!!

Not having as good a friend as you do in me to look out for me, I went to this tonight. I am completely and utterly wiped out. It totally did me in. I won't ruin anything in case, against all my urging, you decide to go shred your own insides into a mass of splintery, weepy jelly. I've never been a real big Kate/Leo follower. They're both fine, but no big deal right? I was utterly blown away by Leo in this, I believed every single thing he said, and many of his facial expressions make me want to cry right now just thinking about it. I'm just saying...if you get the chance, don't do this to yourself. Trust me.

If that isn't enough for you, let me follow it with this:
Republican Rep. Phil Gingrey of Georgia apologized Wednesday for criticizing conservative hosts Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hanity, assuring his supporters that "I am one of you."
The mea culpa comes one day after Gingrey appeared to take issue with Limbaugh's recent criticism of congressional Republicans. The conservative radio host said GOP leaders weren't adequately challenging President Obama on his proposed stimulus package.
"I mean, it’s easy if you’re Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh or even sometimes Newt Gingrich to stand back and throw bricks," Gingrey told the Politico. "You don’t have to try to do what’s best for your people and your party."
The comments, published in a Politico story Tuesday afternoon, immediately prompted a flood of calls from aggrieved conservatives to Gingrey's congressional office, prompting the Georgia Republican to issue a clarification reasserting his conservative bona fides.

Really? I mean really!?! This guy got enough shit from people about disagreeing with fucking Rush Douchebag for saying he hoped Obama fails that he had to make a public apology? What the hell. No really. What the hell.

For Kathy

2009-01-24T19:34:00.001-08:00

Puck

2009-01-22T19:44:00.000-08:00

Oh dear. We've lost Puck. True and I came home to a visibly upset Daddy tonight and he told us he found Puck curled up under the deck stairs as though asleep as she had been so often. True cried, "I don't want her to be dead!" and immediately burst into tears. She was heartbroken and so was her poor dad. True can't understand how very old that kitty was. She was somewhere between 15 and 18 years old, and had lived outside for most of that. She was KINDA inside-y before Cosmo took over our joint. It was so funny that about a year after we lost him, she just reappeared out of nowhere. Then she got really scarce again when Trueby got to the grabby stage of toddlerhood. This last winter has been so very cold she's become an honest to goodness inside cat. We couldn't get her out! True fell in love like crazy. We were constantly reminding her, "Be nice to the cat!" All of her attention was so lovey and Puck was just not used to being coddled! I'm so glad she had it cush for her last few months. I'm glad True and daddy can know they made her so loved and comfortable at the end. She was a good friend to both of them and they will miss her terribly.

The pictures here are all from True's camera. Puck was hands down her favorite photo subject.

what else can I say?

2009-01-20T15:22:00.000-08:00

Where ya been?

2009-01-19T19:07:00.000-08:00

Yeah yeah yeah. It's been a while. I've been busy! Or tired. Or just not typing. Whatever. I take issue with those of you who complain they have worried I've dropped from the face of the earth because I haven't blogged for a while. Seriously, you know I will maintain the pull of gravity until at least after the inauguration. You're excited, too. Admit it! It's gonna be great! I was talking to a friend today though, you know who you are, and wondering aloud about who will be president in eight years? Is this an anomaly, or will people forever be excited by the political system? Will the expectation now be to have a young, in-touch, idealist in power? Will we we now want our president to double as rock star? Or will we be content to go back to the rich, old, white guys who've done it the same way, almost without exception, since we started it off? And if not, who is out there to take up the mantle? I know Obama wasn't even a blip eight years ago, but who's gonna scream onto the scene next?

Speaking of screaming...we had a lovely playdate today. It has been gloriously sunny and cantankerously cold the last few days. A friend is in the doldrums a bit so we met at Subway for lunch then went to dose up on some vitamin D. Trueby loves this chick, they quarrel like sisters and giggle like monkeys.

Then, we tried to run in Trader Joe's after but couldn't get anywhere near it! For crying out loud, I don't need to park right by the door, but the same zip code would be nice. So as we circled around, we saw daddy drive by and whizzed out behind him and True called his cell and gave really, no REALLY cryptic clues til he figured out we were behind him. So anyway, it's about 4:27 and on the way home from the grocery store I get this "bum bum bum" feeling, which, in the past, I have learned to pay attention to when I notice it. So as we go past the turnoff, I swing a crazy hook to make the corner and we drive past the gymnastics place, where, we don't have gymnastics because of the holiday. Just to reinforce what I already know. And yeah, there was class. True is ecstatic, I'm thinking in my head "Holy Christ. I will NEVER make it home and back in time." But she doesn't have clothes, I have milk in the car...we're going for it!! And we made it! So this second one is when she sees I'm taking pictures again. Poor kid. That there's a complex.

All right...go to bed and dream of a better tomorrow. Literally! Happy Inauguration everybody!

A Problem

2009-01-10T09:56:00.000-08:00

So I have what could be called a mild addiction. Or it may be strong addiction. I guess it depends on your point of view. Here's my problem. You know Judd Apatow, right? Superbad, Knocked Up, Pineapple Express. Funny funny stuff. So he had a series a while ago about a dorm full of college freshman called Undeclared. Also, super funny stuff. Got it from Blockbuster and loved it. So when I found out that my favorite of the freshman, crapola that's a creepy sentence, the unrealistically good-looking one with an English accent, I know, shocker, was in a new series that had aired this fall, I looked it up online, totally out of curiosity. Enter the problem. I am completely addicted to this show! Which wouldn't be a problem, except that it's called Sons of Anarchy and is about a gun-running biker club of thugs and is hyper violent. I swear, half the time I can't even watch it! Look away!! And, to top it all off, my guy is faking an American accent. Dammit! This is a lose/lose situation if I've ever seen one.

Here's a win/win though. This is the coolest thing ever. It's like a trivia game, and for every correct answer, they donate 20 grains of rice to hunger relief charity. You can play as much as you want! I almost ended hunger the other day myself on the vocab part, but couldn't get past level 43. How did you do?

What the hell!

2009-01-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

So on all the news showing my joint under 98 feet of water...there's this one guy standing in front of his house, with his lakefront property, which was not lake front yesterday and in fact the lake is more in his house than in front of his house, in an area that until just recently was totally snowed in, and he tells the news guy, "Yeah, we moved out here from Wisconsin to get away from the harsh winters." And, I swear to shit, the news guy says, "How's that working out for you?" Nice!
On the positive, True is enjoying her second day off from school, my first. We had school yesterday, but they started sending kids home early in hard hit areas. Here's the weird part of my day...you remember the psycho parent who hates me? She wanted to sit next to her daughter during our test yesterday so the kid wouldn't be "intimidated." What the hell ever lady. We talked a while after, and this morning, I got cc'd on an email to my Asst. Superintendent and my principal. It is 2 pages of how great a teacher I am, calls me awesome three times, and it ends with, "I wish I had gone in earlier to observe." Now, most people would go, "Oh thank goodness that is resolved." But I gotta tell ya, this makes me so nervous I am actually going to check for a car bomb before I drive today! Tune in next time when she tries to get me fired again.
Before that sounds like I am being treated unfairly...let's see if maybe I am due for a karmic slapping around. Last night, my poor girl rolled over in bed and told me she was going to start crying because of her dream. In a half-asleep mumble, she told me of dreaming about a little boy who ran away from home on an icicle (though I think an ice floe was what she was thinking of) and his family missed him so much. I said maybe he was just going to have an adventure and would come back soon and she says, "No, he was running away to the sea." in the most tragic voice you have ever heard. And quietly started crying, AS SHE FELL BACK ASLEEP! Barring real tragedy, it was the saddest thing to have transpired ever. Later in the night, she made this one whimper noise, like she may have been crying in her dream. I didn't sleep much, as is usual, but instead of getting up and entertaining myself, I just squeezed her all night. What can this spritelike, joyful, rambunctious, bright girl be so sad about? I am hoping against hope it's just her very deep concern for others. She's always been hyper-sensitive to everyone being happy and it hits her pretty hard when they aren't. But I don't want her dwelling on unhappiness. I want the sunshine and rainbows and unicorns thing in her head all the time! I want her darkness to be filled with mystery and wonder, not dread and threat. The reason this weighs so heavily on my mind, outside of the obvious, is that you should be able to hear her right now. She is playing with the Petshop toy she got for Christmas, and all the little animals have cutesy names and they are all playing together and she's quite honestly cracking herself up as she plays. She has incorporated the real cat into her bobble-head cat's family, much to the real cat's disapproval. It is a scene from a misty-eyed childhood nostalgia memory in there. So why are her dreams so dark? Which leads naturally to the question, What have I done wrong? Hence, the psycho parent retribution. Nice. Hey, speaking of higher powers, I'm reading a book right now, by Terry Pratchett, of funny fantasy fame...great gods, this amazing author, who's very identity is wrapped up in his spinning tales from his imagination, has been diagnosed with early onset dementia. That falls in the category of real tragedy I mentioned earlier. Imagine watching that come at you. Jesus! Anyway, it's called Nation, and it has a whole slant on religion that I've really been struggling with. The whole Red Pill/Green Pill thing, would you rather know the truth, even though you will be miserable, or be happy with a cozy lie that there is a benign god cupping you in his hand? It reminded me of one of my favorite books, "Life of Pi." If you haven't read it, stop whatever else you are doing and go read it now. Then, tell me at the end if you think A or B was true. I'm dying to know what you all think. If you've read it already, please talk to me about it!

just missed beijing

2009-01-06T19:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our first day of gymnastics! I picked up the Trueby-do from daycare and told her we had a surprise. When I told her what it was, she goes, "No! I don't wanna go to gy-nastics!" What? Why? "You'll leave me there and I won't know anybody!" Dude, no I won't. I'll stay with you and watch. "Every time?" Yes babe. Don't worry. "Well, I'll watch other people, but I don't know if I'll join in." Poor sweet. So we get there and get her changed and it's totally loud and crazy with all these millions of kids who all know what they are doing, backspringing and rope climbing and vaulting stuff. True goes, "I don't know how to do those things!" I explained they all had been practicing a lot, she was brand new, etc. So this lady comes over, "Ready?" and leads the girl over to her group, no ifs ands or buts. True stepped two steps onto the springy floor and never looked back. She was enthralled! I was so proud of her, all the other girls, about 4, had been at the fall session and knew what they were doing, but she kept right at it, never gave up trying, even when she had to haul herself onto a high beam at chest level four times in a row. She couldn't get up, but fought it and fought it each time. It was magnificent! When I picked her up today she said, "Why can't I go to gy-nastics today?" I'm really thrilled with my girl! She is NOT good with change, but what a trooper!

Best Wishes for 2009

2008-12-31T14:42:00.001-08:00

My goodness, I just made a little collage to recap the year, and am feeling quite nostalgic for 2008. Poor 08 is going to be remembered as a real speculum poke of a year, but we had a pretty good run personally. A couple big firsts, a few nice trips, a beautiful fall, a new president I'm happy about...things are good. You can tell I've been free to move around town this week, my darkling outlook is banished for now. Honestly, out the back windows you can't see any snow at all! Life is good!
Seriously though, if you haven't already, take a few moments and take a look back at the year. Little things I didn't remember kept springing to mind. That's the whole point of all this isn't it? The blogging, the photos, the scrapbooks. To remember the little things that would otherwise be lost in the shadow of European travel, presidential elections, starting school and birthdays. I keep a wall calendar that I jot a note about the day in the square of each date. Not only am I way obsessed with weird things apparently, but I have a really lovely life. I'm happy and grateful and fulfilled. I hope you all can say the same, or if you can't, you're able to look at the obstacles to that and decide if they are hills worth dying on, or, if they are, you are able to find solutions to them. I'm only making the one resolution this year...to try and live a less consumer-y life. I'm convinced we are doing irrevocable harm for no reason outside of minor convenience and bad habit. Not only to the environment, which is truly gonna suck when we wake up and realize we've blown our one shot, but also to the community that shares it with us. I don't want to raise stupid, bovine people any more. Let's raise thinkers. Let's raise aware, analytical, logical citizens from now on. Ok? Good. That's agreed.
Happy everything in 2009 public. I hope the best of everything is out there for you this year!

A Christmas Miracle!

2008-12-26T23:20:00.000-08:00

Oh I kiss the sweet, wet, soggy ground! Bless you, dear darling Pacific Northwest! Welcome back. I was suddenly shocked to realize the total white noise I was hearing, because I hear it so often that it doesn't even register, was rain pounding on my roof. Not the accursed soft drift of snow. Glorious, wet, washing clean, rivuleting, snow destroying, warmer than 32 degrees rain! I may drive my car at some point in the future! I had given it up for lost. Oh thank you thank you thank you! Thank you Jebus!

I hope all of you had as lovely a time as did we the past couple of days. Even being trapped in the house wasn't bad. True was in heaven having mom AND dad at her beck and call. She had a perfectly lovely Christmas I think. As per tradition, she got to open one gift on Christmas Eve. The one she picked was the greatest. A while ago we made a big piece of whiteboard for her and we draw gameboards on it. She gets to make up the rules and the spaces and stuff. She loves it. So Daddy made a rockin awesome box for her to keep stuff in. It has a big whiteboard spinner for the lid and he filled the sections inside with blank cards, dice, little animals for pawns, set pieces...How cool is this guy? She was so excited! When she woke on Christmas morning, she got to open her stocking and then we had a wonderful breakfast of homemade pecan waffles and I kid you not, from-scratch caramel sauce. Huh? Trap me indoors and I become freakin Betty Crocker! She played with her new game box for a while, dad and I got showers in, then the present opening began! Honestly, for how much we tried to instill a "we don't need stuff" instinct, the chick got a ton of swag. Good times, though. As the pop put it, "She's only five once." He makes her a gift every year, and this year it had a theme. She got the game box, and after all the presents were unwrapped, in the tree she found a rolled parchment "For Emma, from the Pirates." It was this wonderfully drawn, aged, burned edge, rolled with a ribbon treasure map leading her to her room where she found her new treasure chest. Ok, toybox. Still. She was so giggly following the clues; the mountain that looked like stairs up one side was my particular favorite. It was a ton of fun. The rest of the day was spent playing and lounging and listening to music and watching the dratted snow beautifully blanket the outside. For dinner we made pizza, True now having a real taste for yeast doughs. She can't get enough of the texture and the smell and the fact that it rises. She loves it. The second shot is daddy and I both trying to catch for posterity her throwing it up in the air on her fists. We were laughing so hard neither of us got a usable picture at all. The last shot is the centerpiece she crafted for the "fancy family dinner" out of the Floam she got for a gift. Nice huh?

So the day after was spent much the same, with her pleading for pizza for dinner again, to no avail. I was thrilled to get an external hard drive for my gift and spent the entire day cataloging, organizing and saving all my digital crap. And holy crap do I have a lot of it! But it is now all safely, securely, neatly, off my computer. Whoo hoo!

So while most of us enjoy the season of brotherhood and community, the RNC was busy hatemongering. My goodness, have you seen this? I was shocked at how blatant this is. I can't believe it. Check out hater to see what CNN says about it. Apparently this guy sent CDs to all his crony pals and says, "What? It's a joke. Can't you take a joke?" For the love of mice, the title of the sucker is "We Hate the USA." Why would one political party choose to make this their rallying cry? How out of ideas do you have to be for your entire platform to consist of "the other guy hates your country?" It's all these songs making fun of liberals, which is fine, go to town. But why use that angle on it? Who does that help? They are song parodies about John Edwards, Wright, immigrants and, the capper, that made it national news, "Barack the Magic Negro." I am not making this up. If you can still say you are republican in public, you have bigger balls than I do. Use your voice, tell your party you are tired of their shit and take back your integrity! GO NOW!

Last thing. Last night, while putting True to bed, we talked about how much vacation was left and she says, "I don't want to go back to school. I don't like it." We talked about it, discussed why, what she doesn't like all the stuff we always do. One cute point, she was saying how all they ever do is sit down, they just "sit sit sit and listen." I said, "Well, honey, she has a lot of important things to tell you about." She goes, "Well, why can't she tell us while we're doing art?" Heh heh. So we talked about having free choice every day and it sounds like her biggest problem is that she doesn't have a relationship like she had at the CDC and doesn't feel secure. She has a few friends she hangs out with most of the time but not always, and she doesn't understand how the other kids interact. She says "They only want to do their way. I say, 'Let's do both ways together' but they won't." Or she says they won't take turns. She has had this skillset banged into her about how you act in group of children and the others don't follow those rules. She doesn't know how to cope. I certainly don't want her to say, You've been hogging that game the whole time, let someone else play! but I don't know what to tell her to do. I don't want her to tell the teacher, but I don't know how to teach her to fix it herself. In my room, I always watched out for those little conflicts because I wanted to head them off before kids learned to tattle, but I don't know how her teacher's way of handling it. I'm not blaming, if a kid is really struggling, but is quiet about it, it's hard to pick up on. The noisy ones take so much of your attention! We did some role playing and brain-storming and in the end she said, "Mom, will you talk to her about it please?" Oh dear. Poor sweet thing. I just hate to think of her not wanting to be there, and having to grit her teeth every single day and "face" another school day instead of being so glad to be there. dammit!

La patisserie

2008-12-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

I did it. We made two lovely french baguettes today. The miracle is that I haven't eaten them both. They are magnifique! True loved working the dough, and wanted to keep playing with it. She liked the texture. Me too. And the smell. You're lucky we aren't sharing with any y'all as she kept pressing it almost to her face and pulling huge lungfulls of yeasty essence in. I don't guarantee there ain't a touch of Trueby in there.

A friend sent me this picture in an email a few days ago. I was so struck by how different our kitchen is! I took another shot from the same place to compare, check this out. And look at True! She's as tall as the little platform her dad built for her at one. That was funny too. It was so she could help in the kitchen without me always being worried she'd topple off a chair. Notice the wheels on the bottom. That sucker was aces!

Again, totally off topic, but what the hell is the deal with the "liberal" media? After eight years of no coverage whatsoever on the most secretive and criminal administration ever, they are now falling over themselves trying to be "investigative reporters" about a connection between Blagojevich and Obama. For crying out loud!

Alright, if you, like me, are trapped in the house and need something to kill time, try out any of these. This one is rockin awesome, the commentary is as funny as the pics. This one is high-larious and just feels good, especially his face when you kak him. This one is more traditional holiday, but interesting nonetheless. Yep, good stuff.

A Bowl of Red

2008-12-21T14:31:00.000-08:00

Oh my god, kill me now. I have been reduced to documenting my cooking. And not fancy cooking. Chili my friends. A little backstory. We usually only make chili for company, because come on, a pot of it feeds 60 people for a month. However, a few years ago I was so unwise as to break either the crock or the pot, what...you don't know which it is either...of a CrockPot my mom gave me. We just got a new one, for 20 bucks, baby! a little while ago and I've been pining to CrockPot something. So, being trapped in the house for days on end, and it being a regular Jack Frost theme park outside, chili seemed a good idea. You always have the stuff, right? And if you don't, you substitute. This has led, at my house as well as your own, I'm sure, to pots of chili that make heavenly choruses sing from on high. And one time, when we still used meat, I swear I stumbled on Nalley's recipe. I kid you not, it would be impossible in a blind taste test to tell them apart. This has also led to chili disasters of course. I once tossed an entire pot it was so bad. Absolutely irretrievable. And we swore to never use whatever we had used that biffed it up so badly. Ask me what it was. I don't remember. I'll let you know when it seems like a good idea again and I toss a whole pot and think, "Oh yeah." So here's what it entailed today.
That huge steaming pot of onions, shallot and garlic is my absolute favorite part of the entire enterprise. Followed closely by True keeping herself busy by dancing with the Wii. That is some funny stuff, if you ever get a chance to see it. Also, interesting (not really) anecdote...I am physically incapable of eating cornbread. Really. It's one of my gag-reflex foods. I honestly cannot get it down. So at a friend's house once, I steeled my gullet to force down the proffered corn bread out of dread of offending, and surprise! It was like cake! No problem at all. Turns out this one brand of mix is the only, and I do mean only, kind my body won't reject. Violently. And it's great with chili! Woo hoo! So tomorrow, I think I'm going to make bread. Just kill me now.

Stir Crazy

2008-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

Captains Log. Stardate 12.19.08. We have been trapped in the house for three straight days now. Supplies are running low and tempers are short. Entertainment is hitting an all-time low as video is taken of various crew members doing ridiculous things that are funny at first, but upon watching, are simply sad. However, Lt. True has impressed the captain with her literary skills. Her class is given little readers to take home and read at their own pace, exchanging the books when they are competent with reading them. Ok, they memorize them. But the first time or two is genuine reading. Lt. True is on book 6 after just two weeks and is quite honestly blazing through the suckers. Perhaps because they are mind-numbingly boring and she just wants to get it over with. Her reasons are her own. Here is documentation.

Cool, huh? Especially the poor posture and belly exposure. Not to mention bad lighting and grainy video. Really gives it a "reality" look, yeah?

So yesterday I made a break for it. We were running out of food and I was actually going nuts, so I made the hike down the hill to the mailboxes and the little store. It's a little over 5 miles round trip and I can't tell you the carnage I witnessed! There were more cars off the road than I've ever seen. I think people were having my same problem and just HAD to get out. Not good. The bad part was there was hardly ever just one car in the ditch. It almost always had two or three plowed into it. The corners are just hellish. Today, all the hills are closed. ALL of them! Look at the pile-up on our table on the deck. There is so much snow out here! I think I can see Russia from my house! I tried desperately, and ineffectively, to get shots of the sky for you, public. Couldn't do it. My eye far outreaches my photography talent. It was this gorgeous seashell rainbow, with down at the horizon the heavy gray of snowstorm clouds, then a layer of pastel pink sunset tinged cloud, and at the very top, a baby blue sky, pretending for all the world it was a spring morning and it had no idea what was going on below. When I came up the last hill, there was an amber pink pool of light on the snow from the sky. I couldn't even come close to capturing it, though I did manage a little better snow shots by wiggling with my exposure. I'm learning to take pictures by trial and error. There is probably a system for everything I do that takes a third the time and 1/1000 the tries to get the shot I try to get. Most of my pretty ones are total accidents! Dude, that hike back up sucked rocks. It was so slick, every other step my boot would slide backward so you couldn't push off with your feet, it was this weird flat-footed climb that took forever and I almost stroked out. Bleah!

If any of you are out there still dithering if climate change is a myth or not...bite me!

Bring the funny

2008-12-17T04:15:00.000-08:00

Honestly, how many things do you know that were funny 30 years ago and are still funny now? Here is one of the very very very few.

Monty Python - Airplane Pilots - watch more funny videos

Funny is my top spot. I love funny. Today, I'm looking at another day housebound, and I would LOVE to have the Monty Python collection to just spool throughout the day. It's one of those things that is A) just plain hilarious all the time, and B) nostalgic for me because it was a big deal with the crowd I ran with in high school...we had "watching parties" before there were DVDs or Tivo. If someone found out PBS was going to run some we hustled to get everyone together and it was like harmonic convergence for us. A total, unexpected windfall from heaven.
So why, you may ask, am I waxing nostalgic about the 30 year old work of five British geniuses and their American friend, though I never really got the animations, too violent for me, Terry Gilliam is a mega-talented director. Ooee, ignore that last grammatical quagmire. Well, outside of it being the wee hours of the morning when I've been up all night stressing about whether or not I'll be able to go to work today and how my kids were so glad I was there yesterday and they were so sweet about missing me on Monday...yet another good thing about the switching classes thing: I have not 25 but 75 kids saying nice things to me at once. Lovely. Anyway....I just finished listening to Michael Palin's audiobook of his diaries during the Python years. What a gig. This guy is having the world thrown at his head, being told on a daily basis that he is the greatest thing walking the planet except for maybe John Cleese, and he writes about how he almost cried when he came home after shooting for so long and saw his 3-year old son "cleaning his teeth with no trouser bottoms on. I just missed them so much." He is, hands down, my favorite Python. Have you seen his travel shows? They're called things like Michael Palin Pole to Pole. He just goes out into the world. I love it. Ewan McGregor and his buddy Charlie Boorman have two series (Long Way Round and Long Way Down) where they document their motorcycle trips around the globe and top to bottom. They're good to watch because Ewan is flipping gorgeous and they're both really funny. But Michael Palin's stuff is funny and makes me want to leap from the house and into the world. It ignites wanderlust. Well, maybe not lust, since I've never done anything about it, but a definite single eyebrow raise and a "hmmmm." Do that yourself right now and you'll know what I mean.
Monty Python is all over YouTube and the net. If you haven't seen any for a while, treat yourself to a couple sketches. You'll be quoting and giggling all day...I guarantee!

Winter Bummerland

2008-12-15T12:05:00.001-08:00

Yeah, that's right. That IS the street in front of my house. Or rather, the ice-rink in front of my house. You'll notice I'm posting at noon on Monday. Would I rather be at work right now? Hmmmm, I have one week before break, a test scheduled on Wednesday, three projects unfinished, 75 kids in the grips of Vacation Crazy...nah. Trapped in my house is way better. I'm not stressed AT ALL! Aaargh! Honest to Frank, I'm ready to walk to work!!
Tempering that ulcer-inducing cabin fever is the grin on my kid's face when she goes thundering past on a skim of plastic over a sheet of ice. Check this out:

The part that is amazing...did you see how long that run is? I kid you not, that is 50 seconds of flying. How the shite am I ever going to get to work? It's negative two right now with wind chill. NEGATIVE TWO!! That ain't ice melting temperature my friends. Sweet crap in a basket. I'm screwed!

Sing it Sister!

2008-12-14T14:43:00.001-08:00

Day-um we liberals are funny mo-fos.

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

2008-12-13T06:03:00.000-08:00

Guess what I did yesterday? I took 75 ten-year olds to downtown Seattle to sit through a two hour ballet. Stupid? You'd think so wouldn't you. But this is such a great trip! Ok, there was a ton of help, really, a ton! Parents love this trip. But the kids adore being in the big city, and the PNB's Nutcracker is cool-looking enough to even overcome fifth-grade boys' opinions of no dialogue poncy dancing. This is my third time going and I enjoyed it the most this time. The first was all so new and I was really nervous with all the kids. The second dragged for me, but this time it just flew. I saw things I hadn't before, and was really taken by the beauty of it.I was beat tired too. The night before we had dinner with the girl's two best friends. This is picture is of them shopping in the living room. Get this. Is it possible for a shot to more completely capture these three? You have the one in the princess get-up, which she came downstairs in IMMEDIATELEY upon arrival to the house. Then there's the cutie with the glasses on the head, she was a little more surreal customer. Last, True. All business. When you play shopping, you shop for crying out loud. By the book!

Let me close with this shot.

Remember a little while ago I took that picture of White Horse Mountain? Which, incidentally, someone thinks is not White Horse Mountain. You'll never know! Anyway, this is the same place. The mountains are behind that huge cloud bank. As was the moon. I'm driving along, and from out behind that little arm of cloud, this gigantic round ball just hove into view. Seriously, do not drive near me. I am not safe.

Oh my word!

2008-12-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

You have to help me out here. I don't know if this is as funny as I think it is, or if I just burst my spleen because I think Simon Pegg is currently the funniest man on the planet. He did a movie a while ago, Run Fatboy Run. Cute. Not spectacular, but funny. Especially if you are working through a very serious crush. This is from the press junket, some dude crashed, "on behalf of fatboys everywhere" and Simon and David Schwimmer, who directed, seriously seem unable to tell if he's for real or not. Now granted, they are actors by profession, but I seriously think they don't know what the hell is going on! I LOVE random humor. If I were in the middle of 14 hours of answering the exact same questions ad infinitum, I would pray for some crazy running fatboy to shake my tree! Their reactions as they try desperately not to offend while clearly not wanting to be suckered...gold, baby

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Wanna see somethin cool?

2008-12-04T04:11:00.000-08:00

Have your eyes been drawn upward over the last week? We've had these crazy cool deep blue skies at sunset, with vivid purple and magenta horizons. Then a high beam bright crescent moon shining in crisp glory. For a while, right next to the white slice of lunar brilliance, these two spotlights of glimmer. Jupiter and Venus have been making themselves known around these parts a bit. The first time I saw it, I thought it had to be satellites or something like that, they were that bright. And huddled right close together. It's one of those things that just screams out what is whizzing and flaring and, most awe-inspiring to me, floating in massive silent vastness just out of sight. I adore the night sky. It's one of the shiver inducing, perspective jarring, "Wake up!!!" things I can never get enough of. Love it. Unfortunately, the light show is almost over, sinking below our horizon, separating from each other until another meeting in the night three years from now. Not even a blink in the time tables of these two.

As exciting to my girl, the tree is up! Let the festivities begin. We've had the ritual live sacrifice to the altar of shopping on Wal-Mart's doorstep, holiday sales are reportedly up despite the brutal economy...let's do this thing!

2008-11-28T20:12:00.001-08:00

Ok, you know how I'm so crazy busy doing report cards? Well, I took a little break.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Little late, but really grateful

2008-11-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm a little late with this one. I haven't been online in two days and it feels like a decade! Weird. Anyway....

We had a lovely holiday. I am embarrassingly overendowed with good things. My family, my friends, my job...I'm really glad to be where I am. It was nice to be able to share that with my daughter, who is starting to realize what I'm talking about. She made some really cute "thankful fors" too. The first one was "I am thankful Jesus loves me." I very nearly abandoned the whole enterprise right there!

But we had a great day, all working together to make a wonderful meal, set a beautiful table with wedding crystal and the gorgeous Wedgwood china from my dadii. On a hideous tablecloth, but what are you going to do?

And of course, the topper, the turtle centerpeice. Tradition, with an edge. Or a shell. Whatever.So you gotta know...we are so very grateful for all y'all. We don't have a ton of "stuff," but we've got piles and piles of what counts. Happy Thanksgiving and the best of everything in the year to come!

growing up

2008-11-23T14:44:00.000-08:00

We had a little tiff about her having to pick up her room this morning. So afterward, I come around the corner into the living room and there's this little couch cushion fort with this sign taped to it:

"I want to be alone please"

Oh I love my kid! Even when she's a pill she makes me laugh!

dude

2008-11-21T19:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, I don't wanna pile on or anything....but for god's sake what the hell? I won't post it here, because honest to francis it makes me ralphy, but have you seen Palin's video where she's pardoning the turkey? Not a big deal really, but then, she steps over and gives this rambling interview while in the background, the farmer guy is slaughtering turkeys!! It's so awful...I swear as the words, "They'll probably find something to criticize me about with this, but at least it was fun," come out of her mouth, some blood spattered guy in the background has a bird with its head down some kind of funnel thing while it kicks and thrashes around. It looks like it kills it and drains the blood out. But it's a big metal funnel and it's all making a banging noise in the background and I just about puked. Granted, I have a really, ok REALLY low tolerance for that kind of thing. But google it and watch and tell me I'm wrong. How honest to fuck clueless can this chick and her handlers be?
On to more pleasant news. So whaddaya think of Hillary for Condi's job? Honestly, I feel like that chick is such a powerhouse, she can only do a good job. I know she gets kicked around a lot, and while I admire the living hell out of her, I don't know that I particularly like her, but I think she doesn't get anywhere near the credit for sheer grit she deserves. She'll secretary the crap out of the state! Also, my faith in humanity has been somewhat restored with Stevens' losing his re-election bid for Alaska senator. I read that had he been re-elected, he would have been the first felon elected to the senate. Awesome. I'm still pissed that it was close at all, for fuck's sake! but reason won out in the end. Now for Franken! Go baby go! Although, I'm glad the democrats don't have the 60 person majority to knock out filibusters. I honestly feel Obama is making a real effort to have everyone work together, disagree without being disagreeable, and that kind of power doesn't play into that. I think if your idea is a good one, you shouldn't have to force it through anywhere.
Not speaking of this at all...Trueby said one of those weird "insight into her head" things again today. She told me there was a "lady" at school who looks "just like Sharlet," a worker from her old daycare. "But her name isn't Sharlet. It's Mrs. Little. And she knew my name!" Knowing that Sharlet is doing her student-teaching there, I said, "Are you sure it wasn't Sharlet?" "No. They aren't the same." Long pause. "They only are the same that they look the same." Shorter pause. "And they both know me." Short pause. "And they look the same." Me: "But you're sure they aren't the same person." Her:"Mom! I said her name is Mrs. Little!" Me: "All right! So what if you had to call me Mrs. Jones. Would I still be your mom?" Really long pause. Her, in a very small voice: "Please don't turn into Mrs. Jones." Dude! It's what I was talking about before. She is navigating in this world I don't even know exists. Her rules and realities don't even connect to mine. It's so weird. Like calling me a different name would change my personality irrevocably! Ooh, segue. Ok, if you haven't, check out "Interworld" by Neil Gaiman. Or, honestly, anything by him. He is the most amazing writer. I'm in the middle of Interworld right now, and it is sucking me in to the point I was a little late to work today because I had to read some before I got in the shower. On my Kindle I got from my lovely husband for my birthday might I add. Super gift baby! I love to read it while listening to my iPod. I feel very disconnected from everything else. All wired up. Anyway, here he is on a tour reading from his newest book, "The Graveyard Book." I just finished it a bit ago, fantastic! Kind of a spin-off of the Jungle Book with a kid raised in a cemetery by ghosts. Way cool. Follow this link and you can hear the whole book: http://mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx
He also wrote Stardust, one of my new favorite movies. I haven't read the book yet, but bet it's awesome too! I've read a ton of his stuff since finding Stardust a bit ago, he's really incredible. Also, try Terry Pratchet's Discworld series if you haven't. I love funny brit sci-fi.
Speaking of, well, except for the sci-fi, though not entirely...I am totally obsessed with Spaced! I bought it and now get to watch all the DVD extras... woo hoo! It's killing me, I love it. Seriously, you have to try and get hold of it. And no, don't bother asking for mine. Put it in your queue. Although, fair warning, I had it in mine for a good two months before I got it. Reserve your copy today! (Read that in a totally infomercial voice.) And now, because Simon Pegg is Scotty, I have to go watch Star Trek when it comes out. I don't wanna! Well, that isn't entirely true. I didn't wanna. Then I saw a trailer and it actually looks pretty cool. Dang it.
OH YEAH!! Welcome to the world and best of luck to you darling little Craig Knutsen. Fresh and new on November 18. Big brother Adam and mom and dad are so lucky to have you in their lovely little family. I'll see if mom will let me post pictures soon. I'm getting over a cold, but when I'm germ free True and I are gonna photo the bejeebies outta that little cutie!

triptych

2008-11-15T15:25:00.000-08:00

So I have three things on my mind right now. The first is this...what the hell is going on with Prop 8 in California? How did that happen? I'm so excited that Trueby will just take it as part of the world that there is a black first family in the white house. It isn't a historic leap forward for her, it just is. I'm hoping we can get the rest of this "us vs. them" out of our systems someday. Take a look at this, from Melissa Ethridge:

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay their taxes either.Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.Oh and too bad California, I know you were looking forward to the revenue from all of those extra marriages. I guess you will have to find some other way to get out of the budget trouble you are in.…Really?When did it become okay to legislate morality? I try to envision someone reading that legislation "eliminates the right" and then clicking yes. What goes through their mind? Was it the frightening commercial where the little girl comes home and says, "Hi mom, we learned about gays in class today" and then the mother gets that awful worried look and the scary music plays? Do they not know anyone who is gay? If they do, can they look them in the face and say "I believe you do not deserve the same rights as me"? Do they think that their children will never encounter a gay person? Do they think they will never have to explain the 20% of us who are gay and living and working side by side with all the citizens of California?I got news for them, someday your child is going to come home and ask you what a gay person is. Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.I know when I grew up gay was a bad word. Homo, lezzie, faggot, dyke. Ignorance and fear ruled the day. There were so many "thems" back then. The blacks, the poor ... you know, "them". Then there was the immigrants. "Them.” Now the them is me.I tell myself to take a breath, okay take another one, one of the thems made it to the top. Obama has been elected president. This crazy fearful insanity will end soon. This great state and this great country of ours will finally come to the understanding that there is no "them". We are one. We are united. What you do to someone else you do to yourself. That "judge not, lest ye yourself be judged" are truthful words and not Christian rhetoric.Today the gay citizenry of this state will pick themselves up and dust themselves off and do what we have been doing for years. We will get back into it. We love this state, we love this country and we are not going to leave it. Even though we could be married in Mass. or Conn, Canada, Holland, Spain and a handful of other countries, this is our home. This is where we work and play and raise our families. We will not rest until we have the full rights of any other citizen. It is that simple, no fearful vote will ever stop us, that is not the American way.Come to think of it, I should get a federal tax break too..

Can't we all just get along? In the spirit of love, look at this. But only if you aren't in public or easily offended

Went to the movies with some gals last night, this is what we saw. Half of it I spent guffawing and the other half with my eyes averted and mouth agape. They really did make a porno...and we watched them do it! It was sweet and funny and filthy! I loved it. Kevin Smith never lets you down, and neither does Seth Rogen. So considering the company, when I say Jason Mewes almost stole the whole show, it's saying something. And bonus...Randall was the camera man! Woo hoo!

On a less derelict note, try this out

Hee hee! I just got season one of the BBC's Spaced with Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, the comic geniuses behind two of my favorite movies, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Seriously, if you haven't, check these out. The clip above isn't them, Simon is the guy on the bike, but it just makes me giggle. I've added him to my seriously problematically long celebrity crush list. He's in Run Fatboy Run and How to Lose Friends and Alienate People recently, which I haven't seen yet, but so gotta! If you can get hold of Spaced, check it out. It's really funny.
Ok, I gotta go...more Spaced to watch before True is up!

no focus

2008-11-12T04:32:00.001-08:00

So one of my friends asked, "What's your deal, now that your guy won you have nothing left to say?" No, no. Just busy. No time to post.

But it's a little weird. I have a ton of stuff in my head, but I don't know what I have to say. I'm not saying I'm outta stuff without the election, but it gave me a start to grease the wheels, you know? I've been too busy to get great pictures to start me off, and have had ugly things in my head with no funny to temper them. I don't know, maybe it's 4 AM and I wish I were able to sleep more.

So, out of gross, into mundane.

Follow this link and see pictures of my girl's class party on the 31st. http://picasaweb.google.com/burnettclan4/MrsMillersHarvestParty#

How about this? Yesterday was specrapular out, so we huddled with buddies and made my girl's favorite treat in the world. I kid you not, it was my 40 year old friend's first time making them! As one of her witty neighbors noted, she just spaces out the good stuff. Why blow it all at once?

Mmmm, good stuff. Lovely to listen to the world howl outside in the dark, and sit inside a warm kitchen while our girls squeal and give silly a run for its money. To bitch and moan to a sympathetic ear about stuff that's making me crazy, and she agree with me on every point. My favorite thing! Except when I'm spoiling for an argument of course. I love having good friends. That's my grateful thing today. And everyday.

perspective

2008-11-05T18:33:00.000-08:00

So today I go to work with only this on my mind. I'm excited to talk about it with friends, to celebrate together, to be proud together. To talk to my kids about it. And most of the day did go like that. Before the first bell, my kids from last year were all over the place, making sure I knew. So concerned that I not miss the news. It was so sweet. And I'm so excited that my kids CARE! In each of my three classes we discussed the president-elect, I played the last 5 minutes of his speech for them and told each class how proud I was to be able to say with complete honesty for the first time ever that it was finally true. ANY one of the kids sitting in that room could one day be president. There are no more barriers to anyone who works hard and earns themselves a spot.
Oh, did I mention that the psycho mom is in the room to watch her daughter present her report? Yeah. So after five other kids go, the daughter goes, then the mom takes her and they leave. After class, we're outside and my principal comes out and says, "What did you do?" I was, I swear to heaven, clueless. "NO! What the fuck was her problem??!?!??!?" She doesn't want her daughter in my class anymore. She took her daughter AND her sixth grade son and fled the premises. Apparently she busted into my principal's office, started screaming about how biased I am because I didn't play any of McCain's speech for the kids, and my principal finally got fed up and told her, politely, she was off her nut and she needed to leave me alone. The chick wigged out and took her kids and left. Seriously, to the extent he isn't certain they'll be back. This woman is UNHINGED! It's good to know it's totally her problem and not mine though. I know all along we never think it's us...but then, she doesn't think it's her, so maybe it was me. But I think today proved pretty definitively that it ain't me. So that's good.
I went to pick up my girl and when I get there she is eating a big old milkshake at 5:00 PM. Outside of the whole brainwashing for jesus thing, my only problem with this joint is how they have junk food all the time. Ok, not all the time, but some of the time. And some of the time is too much of the time for me. Anyway...so we're driving home and we talk about dinner and I mention that when she chooses to eat a treat at dinnertime it's her responsibility to eat a good dinner still because...blah blah blah you know the spiel. So she says, "I know mom. But the only choices were homework, and why would I do homework if I don't have any? Whittling, that's too sharp for me (that's another post, funny story. But it was only a choice for 3rd grade and up is what she meant), guns...and we don't choose guns, or the Mississippi Lake (ok, it's River, and it was an activity to fit into their whole theme about traveling across America with the Muddy Mighty Mississippi but it was still a huge cup of ice cream at dinnertime!)" So it got me thinking. She is swamped in all these rules she's trying to negotiate, and she found herself kinda between a rock and a hard place. She KNEW I wouldn't like her to do it, but she didn't feel she could go against the rules at the daycare either. Since one side offered ice cream, that's the side she came down on. It's like a while ago, they decorated these huge sugar cookies and she wanted to eat it in the car. I was all, "Of course not!" and she said, "But they said I could eat it at snack and I didn't because I didn't know if you wanted me to and I really wanted to!" It just made me want to cry. She sees kids all around her all day long, in some cases with adult encouragement, making choices she doesn't think should be made. And for my rules girl, this is so bewildering. She literally does not understand why people don't follow the rules. It throws her all too sea. She is completely off kilter. Of course I'm not saying she does everything perfectly every time. She's five for crying out loud. What I'm saying is that she is very, no really, VERY quick to recognize the wrong choice in others. I feel so bad for her in this world she doesn't have a handle on yet. She gets grenaded for no reason, in her mind. Kinda like with my psycho. I don't understand the rules. When I get penalized, I don't know why! Ok, I'm babbling, but I just was thinking how hard it has been for her, and how I want her to be ok. I guess I'm willing to trade a suck ass kindergarten year for a real shot at a future in a country she can be proud of though.

Born Again American

2008-11-04T21:55:00.000-08:00

To quote my girl, "Oh my goo'ness" I am absolutely dumbfounded. I was expecting to be this thrilled, but I was totally unprepared to be this proud to be an American. I cried a little at his acceptance speech. I was moved to be able to believe that we may be able to do this. Maybe we can make America more that a caricature of what we say we are. Maybe it won't be empty words anymore. Is it possible we have given my girl that gift? I am so overwhelmed at the possibility that my daughter may grow up in a country where we are the greatest nation on earth, not because we say we are, but because we actually are. His call that the problems we have to face are bigger than one man, bigger than one party, that we are all in this together and we need to come together and stop looking to blame and start looking to help. Fuck it, I am truly inspired! I want to hang a flag off the deck for the first time in my entire life!

It's not just because he won. It's because of how many people of how many differences voted for him. I'm thrilled he won, but I'm even more thrilled we elected him. A friend of mine is married to a lifelong republican and he voted democrat for the first time ever. It made him a little sick, but he did it. Colin Powell, all the many many republicans who came out to support Obama. It proves that we can see a right and a wrong. We can put aside our differences and see that one thing is right for all of us, regardless of the past. We have proven that our massive country can work together. It makes me believe that we can accomplish great things. We are ready to work and to try and to succeed. I am so fired up! I am so proud of my country!

Let's not even get into the black thing. It chokes me all up. I have a poster up in my classroom that says "Civil Rights" across the top, and is a collage of famous segregation photos. It makes my heart hurt to look at it. And here we are. To all those out there who stood up on camera or in public or to their families or in their hearts and said, "I will not vote for a black man," your time is done. You and your hate have had your time and it is over. I don't feel like I can lay claim to this victory like some people can, but that does not make me any less overjoyed, any less proud, any less exhilerated that our country pulled this off. I wasn't alive when King was leading his fight, but his story has always had a place in my heart. The injustice, the unreasoning unfairness of it has always resonated with me. And the horrifically violent end for a man who wanted only peace has always caused my throat to close up. I am so hopeful that he is able to know what has happened. To share the victory. To lay a huge cosmic "Suck it!" on those hate mongers.So instead of the work being over, it has just started. It is no longer someone else's problem, it's our problem and the solution is up to us. The gross end of the stick when you wrest power unto yourself I guess. So be informed. Be involved. You are the change you are looking for. We did it, now let's do it!

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-02T17:06:00.000-08:00

Happy because honestly, there is no other way to describe how my kid felt on Friday. I was able to schedule the morning with no conferences so I could be at her Harvest Party in the morning, she called it doing parent hours. We got dressed up, the best part of which was putting her in the bathtub naked and spraying her hair bright pink. Her traditional trick or treat partners met up with us and we hit around in their neighborhood, made an impressive haul even though Trueby wouldn't go to any of the houses that had dogs. Finally we headed over to meet up with her two best friends in the world to terrorize the joint. While the adults visited and ate, the girls ran screaming through the house for no apparent reason other than they are little girls who love being together. I adored watching her have so much fun, be so at home, feel so comfortable. Literally, she stripped to t-shirt and tights as soon as we got there, and her buddy made it down to only panties! Those two girls are family to her, they've been part of her life every day for as long as she can remember. Luckily, all three moms are a little photo manic, so it's all well documented.
So my friend inspired me to create a new scrapbook this month. I'm going to document one thing I am grateful for every day of November. I'll put some of them here, keep an eye out. While a great time on Halloween doesn't count, since it was October, I am so incredibly grateful my girl has friends like these!

This should fix it

2008-10-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Red States,
We're ticked off at the way you've treated California , and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research, the tech sector, and the best beaches. We get Nancy Pelosi. You get Sarah Palin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get WalMart. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Berkeley, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Baylor, and Dollyworld. We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico . Sincerely, Blue States

I wish I could credit this as due...just thank a witty liberal and call it good

Guess what I did today!

2008-10-26T18:03:00.001-07:00

That's right. I did take it down and place it in the box instead of sending it by mail. And not to save a stamp either. There were so many people doing it, too! I don't know if the $5.37 standard postage now is off-putting, or if all of my fellow citizens are equally paranoid. Hell, if my phone is being tapped, who knows what they're doing with my mail! The car in front of me had a McCain/Palin sticker and I thought, "Ha. Cancelled you out, sucker!" The bike behind me was Obama for sure, c'mon...a bicyclist for McCain? I doubt it. So that puts us up by one by my count. Woo hoo!

Almost as exciting as the electoral circus, yesterday we packed up Trueby and met her buddy at the Dream Science Circus. What a hoot! We had a great time. The angle was they take people from the audience, hook them up to the Dream Machine, and their dreams are projected onto the stage. It was great. There were jugglers, acrobats, dancers, funny stuff, wow stuff, little bit risque stuff. The capper was Trueby's buddy getting up on stage and hamming it up to the hilt. Including a bow at the end for her exit! It was priceless. I'm definitely going again next year! Though I don't know if True is so gung ho. She said, "If they put that hat on my head, it would not be good." She wasn't cool with having her dreams sucked out and displayed in the daylight. She is convinced it would be bad news for her dreams to be "out." Yeah, I know.

Check out the photo album for some more shots!

some fun stuff

2008-10-22T19:24:00.001-07:00

For the 7% idiot population who are still undecided in this race. Seriously? Should these cranially challenged nitwits even be allowed to vote? Here is a visual representation that may help them make up the uninformed, uninterested, or unable minds they have.

I think this is hysterical. I can't decide which I like better: the steam engine teetering on the very brink of utter calamity, or the dopey face on the Thomas/Palin train. Although, it may be the McCain train that has completely derailed. Don't think so? Check this out

Remind you of anything? Maybe this?

Oh, the good old days.

So, more good stuff. Check out this shot on my morning drive. It doesn't come close to doing it justice, nor does the next from the drive home.

It's the light. I don't have the talent to do it justice, but it is so breathtaking. I want to be very clear..I still hate fall. I hate the death of summer, my dear darling favorite, I hate the onset of winter, my nemesis season, I hate the drizzly, cold, gray, mundane, back to work, death and ending and long long long pull to spring again. I hate fall! But you'd have to be blind and stupid not to see that it's beautiful. I even hated missing pictures when I don't have my camera and got a little point and shoot to keep in my purse always. All these pictures are my workhorse lovely starter camera though, I'm posting its picture too so as not to offend it. And it's my favorite.I'll close with this one. Seriously, if it weren't all eaten at, and god help whatever ate at it, wouldn't it look just like a comic book or fairy tale mushroom? Imagine it all pointy round topped with bright red and light spots and elves dancing around on it. Am I right?

Exciting day

2008-10-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

whoo..so I'm JUST getting the kids in line for lunch when over the intercom we hear, "Staff, we are in lockdown." NOOO! So we're screaming to the totally bewildered fourth graders outside, "Get in get in get in!!!"and they're just staring at us with a total "huh?" look on their faces and NOT moving at all. So we corral everyone and my kids are huddled in the corner with all the lights off whispering, Is it real? I'm reassuring and hushing and comforting and shushing and calming and "freaking shut it" ing. You get the picture. One of my kids says, "What will you do if someone comes down the hall?" I said, "It depends on which one of you they're trying to take." So after 15 minutes in the huddle we get the all clear. Turns out there was a bank robbery right by us and the guy bolted. They got him though. But wowza, were my kids wound up! You try teaching something after that! Nice break in the monotony though.

double update

2008-10-19T18:57:00.001-07:00

So, one week to the day, tooth number two is out. And apparently I have overdone the picture taking. When the camera came out, she squealed "Pillow wall!" and tried to hide completely from the shot. When the flash went off she yelped, "Did she get me?!" Sorry little monkey. But I'm gonna get a picture. Might as well let me do it and get it over with.

Also, remember the psycho on Thursday? So Friday morning she comes in, and as my stomach drops to my feet, says, "I just want you to know how glad we are my daughter gets to have you for her teacher this year." I'm now the best teacher ever, her ex-husband was the one who was upset, and she wants us to be best friends and braid each other's hair. Seriously, I'm terrified of this loony toon. Tomorrow she may want to wear my skin!!

Thank you so so so much to everyone who sympathized with me over that ugly situation. It's lovely to hear supportive, kind words about something like that. Even though I know all they said is untrue, it's still nice to hear people besides me say that can't be true!

Ohm-bama

2008-10-17T02:26:00.000-07:00

How's this for zen? I have been awake all night because of something that happened Thursday morning. Fretting, seething, gnashing my teeth. Then, I thought all of a sudden that Obama must feel just like this when the republicans throw out their nonsense and he can't fight back without lowering to their level and just not wanting to go there. And...epiphany music please...I have decided to be Obama. And the knots in my stomach loosened up, my shoulders came down from my ears, I realized how sore my jaw is from clenching. Aahhh....one more thing to be glad about Obama for. Personal inspiration.

"Those are the people, Democrats and Republicans, who have shaped my ideas and who will be surrounding me in the White House. And I think the fact that this has become such an important part of your campaign, Sen. McCain, says more about your campaign than it says about me."

Here's the downlow...there is a parent, and I am not being snippy by saying this chick is certifiable, she is really off the road, and god help me she HATES me from last year. The last half of the year was a minefield! So this year, of course, I have her again for 1/3 of my day. There was a minor kerfuffle a little bit ago, but my principal ran interference and I got to just roll my eyes and think, Here we go again. So yesterday, at 8:25...yes, that IS first bell when I'm in charge of 25 maniac 10 year olds, she and her divorced husband come in and say, "Can we talk to you?" My first instinct is, "Let's go into the principal's office" since I have a practicum student who will lead class and I desperately want a witness except that my principal is out of the building. Next best thing, the spare room next door which connects to the room of a friend who is the TIC so I figure if I really need help I can shriek for her. Anyway, we go over and they proceed to tell me how displeased they are with me as a teacher, a human being and a waste of atoms. Apparently, I have irrevocably damaged their daughter by mocking her brother from last year as a failure in front of this year's class and calling her a cheater and a liar. I will be expected to let her remain in her home room and customize assignments so she won't have to breathe the same air as me and not let her grade suffer because I am such a rotten example of humanity. I'm paraphrasing a bit. So the way I talk these people down is by kissing their asses, smiling and nodding through this, repeatedly mentally reminding myself of the shit storm I brought on myself last year by actually telling the truth, and agreeing with everything, even the line, "What you actually said is irrelevant. What she thinks she heard is her reality." Yes, yes, of course that's true. I'm gripping a chair leg so tightly that my fingers ache and my friend comes in and checks that everything is ok? Yes, yes, we're just having a discussion, everything is fine. Upshot is that they leave happy, I am allowed to be graced with the presence of the daughter during class time, and I get a big hug and "Let's keep the lines of communication open" from the psycho.
So all day I've been raging internally about how unfair it is that no matter what the truth is, there is no way these people will hear it and they will cling to their perception regardless of the facts. Why isn't there some existential hammer that slams down on people and says, Dude...you are wrong. Here are your consequences. I would be more than willing to risk participating in that system because, regardless of what you may think of me ;) I WANT to know if I'm wrong! I WANT to know what is actually and indisputably true. Why can't truth be an absolute? Then my 2 am epiphany kicked in. Obama faces this every day. No matter how many he times he puts the real facts out there, they will repeat their blatant lies and smirk and salute the flag and call themselves christians and the "real" Americans. Like him, all I can do is calmly state facts and stay above the fray. Let them eat themselves from the inside out. When they implode, my hands will be clean and it will no longer be my problem. God have mercy on my soul!

Oohh....addendum....putting my problems in perspective: Trueby just stumbled out clutching her blanket and looking for company after a nightmare. "What did you dream about, sweetie?" "Mean farmers. I was a cow and they didn't kill me but they killed my cow friends." Poor thing. She's tucked in with Daddy, becoming a vegetarian as I type!

2008-10-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

wowzers...right out of the box McCain is going after my guy. I sure hope this time they talk to each other. TO each other! They need to let people know not only what THEY are like, but how they differ from each other. If people are going to choose based on something besides each other's ads, they need to see them together.
ooh, McCain is getting all prickly. This Joe the Plumber jam is going all right. McCain is all O'Reilly about it..keeps cutting in and getting smug and harpy. I hope he blows his top!
Really? The over head projector again? He looks like a moron. He keeps talking about pork since he tries to sell his maverick thing. It doesn't make any sense, why are the men going for this? Thank god women have more sense. I don't understand why he keeps saying "I know how to do stuff" what? Is he keeping these secrets? What is the deal?
I think McCain knows he's in the tank. He's more prickly than the other times out. Obama isn't getting at him as much ....
Oh! Nasty campaigns in the house! Yahoo!
Oh lord, the town hall deal. Let that go! It doesn't play! He regrets most of all an attack on him about segregation? Not calling Obama a terrorist? Oh you liar...shut your piehole! He says it's tough but truthful. How is Obama not standing up and tearing his eyes out? Oh I hurt FOR him! It's hard to watch this about someone else, I can't imagine it being about me and just having to sit and be decent about it. Whew, Ohio is tough.
Ouch, Obama talking about the crazies gave me goosebumps. That's gotta suck. Why is McCain laughing about this? Jesus
Oh my god, he's defending the nuts by saying military wives and WWII vets? You fuck!
Oh, Bobbo trying to goad Obama, but he's keeping it on track. It's like trying to reason with a lobotomy patient. Where are Ayers and Acorn? Let it go! Oh, there it is!!
Obama looks sick to death of this discussion. Like he's trying not to puke on himself.
Ooh hoo! The veeps!
Ok, my guy is all about why Joe is good, no slam on Caribou Barbie
We know Palin? How? Through her many in depth interviews? Her candid words to the press? I only know her through her government's condemnation of her abuse of power and her constant lies. She knows special needs families? Oh christ.
So even when asked directly, Obama won't sink her....but McCain will go after Biden? Fuckwad
Where did "spend spend spend" come from? Nice talking point nonsequiter
Oh no, did he just say Obama isn't well traveled enough? He doesn't understand again? Crapper
really? preconditions again? Can this guy not adjust to a changing situation or what?
Joe the Plumber is so getting some tonight
Yikes, did he just say you need a gold plated caddy plan for transplants? Oh, and just blamed dems for the 8 year mess, nice.
Why is abortion even coming up? The courts are a major deal for more reasons than this...will the religious right please stop holding our election hostage? Actually, I shouldn't blame them. I blame the republicans courting them
whew, each time the tracker crawl alarms me at the beginning, but toward the end is more on target. McCain buries himself
why are eloquence, and intelligence too, slurs? What is his point here?
What? Did he just say he'll adopt all the unwanted babies?
oh boy! Education!
I love Obama's 4K credit. Great idea. And he won't let the parents off the hook either. It is so the key!
McCain does not get it. Failed schools in failed neighborhoods. Hmmm, look at that last line about parents. Is he suggesting a charter school will open in the inner cities for all the wealthy families who don't have a choice besides their failed neighborhood school? What an idiot. If we better educate more of the American public, McCain would never have got as far as he has.
why does he keep saying Palin is struggling with autism? I thought it was Down syndrome?
oh yeah, there's My Friends. We just need maverick and "my fellow prisoners" to call it a day
spending though, that's a close runner up.
I think he's so mad at what he's become. He's in a terrible position with no one but himself to blame. Kinda got to feel bad for him
dammit, I missed Obama's closer. I bet it was good though!
Wow, that one was better than the last two. I liked the back and forth. Not boring at least.

twitch

2008-10-14T19:33:00.001-07:00

Dammit, I think I'm giving my kid an ulcer. Or she's getting an ulcer and I'm exacerbating it. Something is up. Today we had this whole go round and the upshot is I don't know if she feels like she's doing something wrong by not being happy at school. I know she loves her daycare, hell, jeebus is there, what's not to love? She is totally acting like she feels guilty about being unhappy. Or I am totally reading into nothing. This is another of those mind fucks where I'm totally panicked that I'm going to blow it off and it'll end up putting her atop a book depository, or I'll completely overreact...and end up putting her atop a book depository. Either way, you see my problem. Or you don't, and that's exactly my point.

a milestone!

2008-10-12T17:48:00.001-07:00

So the big news this weekend was supposed to be the trip to the pumpkin patch with the two best buds. But deep in the corn maze, Trueby wrestled free an ear of corn and sealed the fate of her first lost tooth! Check that gap! It's a terrible/great story. She was trying some raw corn and got dirt in her mouth. She kept trying to pull it out with her fingers and was gagging herself. Literally, to the point of "throw-upping." I was laughing so hard as she was puking all over Everson and just kept jamming her fingers in her throat. Then she grabbed something out of her mouth and tossed it on the ground. I go, "Dude! That was your tooth!" I had to search all over the cornstalks and found the filthy, bloody, pukey bone shard and actually picked it up. That is how you know you're mom, in case you ever find yourself wondering. She was thrilled at first, then one of her buddies shrieked, "There's blood!" and True lost it. "I don't like it! I don't like it!" She kept making this totally horrified face every time her tongue found the hole. She was crying and couldn't talk, all this in the middle of the corn maze, mind you. I asked, "Does it hurt?" and she sobs, "I-I'm r-r-really freaked out!" Man, this chick does not handle change! We got her rinsed and spat, wound our way out of the maze, paid for our gourd and on the way back from putting it in the car, she finally says, "I feel better now." I asked if she wanted to tell her friends what is was like to lose a tooth and she says, "I think they know." Like, "Duh, I made it pretty obvious I didn't care for it." Last night we had to write a note to the tooth fairy to please not take the tooth, True wants to keep it. She was clearly not comfortable with the idea of some stranger buzzing around stealing body parts while she slept. She was totally clingy and kept asking things like, "What if she takes my music box instead?" and the like. So this morning she woke to two shiny quarters (yeah, we'll see how long that lasts as an appeasement) and declared, "The tooth fairy is nice!" Yep. She's convinced one coin was for her tooth, and the other was because her writing was so good. This is the note she left.

But the rest of the trip was just as good, though I'm totally bummed. I got some gorgeous pictures, you can't appreciate them unless you live here on a sunny fall day and just get dropped by how beautiful the outside is. But I had my white balance set for the pernicious fluorescents in my classroom and now all my pictures have a blue tinge. Dang it!

It was a great day though. This is the top down view of the squealy group hug of three best friends who haven't seen each other for a while:

They took some time with all the attractions first; photo ops, the jesus train, bouncy house, tormenting animals,

Then we got down to the serious business of picking a pumpkin.

Tell me these chicks don't look like the opening act of the Scottish Play. Toil and trouble indeed.After the patch shenanigans, we went on to apple picking (some legal, some not) and corn maze drama then had lunch and called it a day. Whew! Thank heaven we have a whole year to gear up for going again.

Take this as you will

2008-10-11T06:42:00.001-07:00

I LOVE Jon Stewart!

inciting the rabble

2008-10-11T05:38:00.000-07:00

They are gonna get him shot. Are you watching any of McCain's campaign events? People are nuts! They are seeing their chances slipping away and getting panicky, and into that McCain is pouring rhetoric like "he's a domestic terrorist" and "you can't trust this guy" and then acting all surprised when people start screaming Kill Him! at rallies. It's like Bush last week coming on TV and saying "We're all gonna burn! We're going down...mayday mayday! Our last and only hope to avoid armaggedon is this package. For the love of god, please pass this!" So yesterday he says, "People are panicking. It's causing more trouble. We need to just be calm, trust in the system. Just breathe through it." What do they expect? So now McCain is trying to back it down when it hits him in the face, (a lady at a rally said she was scared of Obama because "he's an arab" and he said, "No ma'am, no ma'am") but does nothing to quell shouts of "terrorist" and such when just screamed out. And then runs another Ayers ad. They keep hitting that line of "launched his carreer in his living room" which makes this clear tie to the guy. The actual story is that the chick who he was replacing in Illinois took him there, to her party, to introduce him to her supporters. So now all these redneck crazies are upset, psycho, racist AND feel like they have a legitimate complaint. If I were Michelle, I would be terrified right now. If I thought McCain had any shred of human decency left after he sold his soul, I'd expect him to outright say, "We went too far, this stuff is totally bogus, please settle the hell down." Yeah, that'll happen.

ribbit

2008-10-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

seriously, what the fuck? Check this out

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/08/politicians.meltdown.aig.ap/index.html

How can that even be possible? How can that even have happened? Do you remember in high school chemistry when the teacher titillated everyone with the anecdote about the frogs that boil to death because the water temperature rises so incrementally that they acclimate and don't realize there's a problem until they've been cooked? Well here we are. How is it possible that the government not only decided to spend $700,000,000,000.00 to buy up these people's crap (and voters are saying Obama's health care plan stinks of socialism? Christ!) and within a week they do this?! I'm not at all shocked the fuckwads did it, I absolutely cannot believe they did it so soon! HOW can we live in a world where this happens? In this world Sarah *wink* Palin is running for vice president of the country. HOW?! The current president has blatantly and repeatedly broken the law without consequence. HOW?! A political strong-arm has blunted the message of scientists the world over that we are destroying ourselves. HOW?! Let's not even talk about the insinuation of christianity into our political system, genocide in this day and age, the fact that people are dying for want of clean water...the list goes on and on. How is this world possible? What are we doing to ourselves? I listened to a clip from a right-wing radio show this morning where the host was making his point that the homeless should not be allowed to vote. As I was internally agape at this viewpoint, he followed it up with, "I'm gonna catch a lot of heat from this I'm sure, but frankly, I don't think women should vote either." The fact that this brain-dead moron holds this opinion is one thing, the fact that he can voice it on the air is beyond belief. Where are all the boundaries? Where have they gone? Where is common sense, and common decency? And that ass lick was voting for McCain Palin! What does it say about this woman that a man who doesn't believe women are rational enough to vote responsibly is willing to elect her vice-president? He quite clearly expects her to look pretty and serve coffee while the men talk. Is there really a contingent of those people out there? Another guy said, "This little bitch (Obama) needs to learn to stand up for himself. If he can't even stand up to our smokin' hot vice-president, how is he going to stand up to the Taliban?" Again, put aside the opinion that the ass monkey is clearly quite comfortable voicing on air, and consider how he views Palin. How are we letting this happen? I know how to fix it though.

More good stuff

2008-10-06T18:37:00.000-07:00

Here's another song I love. It's kinda jammy. I adore the theme...the general wakes up after a dream and tells his soldiers he's refuting the idea of war. He tells his men they aren't to be held to his promises, but won't let himself off the hook. And the soldiers don't know what to do...as the general readies to fight by himself. It's The General by Dispatch...totally cool jam band.

You know what else just makes me giggly happy? I have given my kids an extra credit assignment. If they watch the debates, write down something intelligent that proves they actually thought a little bit, they get the credit. From the last two debates, 1/3 of each of three classes have brought in written statements that they can support when asked about them, another 1/3 of each class didn't write, but watched and brought opinions, and almost the whole class is involved when the candidates' performances are discussed. There's a little bit of "I like _________ because he's cool" or whatever, but most of the time they are giving thoughtful answers. I am ever so impressed, and so pleased that they are thinking and reasoning and excited about this stuff. One kid came up to me and said, "You're making me feel special that I live in such an exciting time." Damn! And they are totally stoked for tomorrow. They are excited to see how the candidates react when they get to take questions from "real people." What are the chances that just half of these 75 kids will retain some sense of civic understanding as adults? That they will understand they need to be informed, that it is their responsibility and privilege to have a say in who is the leader of their country. I'm so proud of them! I love listening to what they have to say. Granted, it's all parroting from their parents, but they are able to explain when I say "What do you mean by ____" so they have discussed it and get it. Obviously, I have to totally bite my tongue a good third of the time, but I'm thrilled they are interested and involved. If they learn from my class the responsibility to listen to both sides and make an informed choice, the small town knee jerk stuff will go away, right? I showed them about fact checking and they LOVED it. "It tells you right there!" Yep. I know. I'm excited about tomorrow. I'm excited to discuss it Wednesday with my elementary schoolers!

sorry

2008-10-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to be mean, but turn it up and listen to the background noise.

Heh heh

Anyway....the very strangest thing happened to me today. An old lady, had to be 75+, stopped me and asked me about my hybrid. I told her I loved it and gave my standard, 500+ miles to a tank speil and we discussed it for maybe a minute. She said she liked my Obama sticker, and started to tell me about how he is good for green energy. I swear to whatever that 45 minutes later that chick had not stopped talking. I know how many kids she has, what they do, how much one of them makes, where they live, how her husband died, where her six homes have been, what features are in the geodesic dome she lives in now, including three bathrooms and an elevator! I know how she and her husband met, her self-image, her world view. It was astounding! There was LITERALLY no break in the monologue. I was flabbergasted each time she segued. I'm not bitching, it was truly a wonder to behold. I cannot imagine what she is like with people she knows. I've been thinking about it all day. She said she was a teacher for 35 years. No, she doesn't know I teach as well...I swear there was no where to pop a comment in! But what must her class have been like!!! Holy crap! Or maybe she's just lonely since she lives by herself and has lost all sense of civil dialogue. Again, I'm not complaining, I just can't get over the strangeness of it. Totally bizarre!

oh my god

2008-10-04T22:41:00.001-07:00

Now look how Obama has raised my hopes. Check out the last one, I laughed instead of tried to stab the monitor. I actually feel sorry for the guy. Obama should be bottled and sold as one of those old-fashioned cure-alls. Anyone who can make me feel pity for Bush deserves to win.
And the topper:

let the games begin

2008-10-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

wow wow wow! I'm so excited! One or the other or both of these two is heading for a huge implosion with tears, blood or a combination of the two. With any luck one will pee her pants. Yay for putting microphones in front of two people who are prone to oral diarrhea! This is gonna be great!

Here we go!

First off, both ok, little dry. Interesting, they have a focus group of undecided Ohioans (I think these guys have gotta be faking it for the attention. How can anyone in our country today be undecided?) on the tracker crawl with men and women lines. It's weird to see it, and weirder still that that's what they chose to track. Hmmmm.

Oh man, she's coming out swinging! Looks like her tactic is going to be using certainty of delivery to cover a lack of knowledge. Hmmm, remind you of anyone who rhymes with Tush? So she hasn't answered a question yet, just "talking from the heart." What the hell is that about? Why are people going for this? Great god, why is the tracker going positive for her? Do they not realize she is spouting populist crap and NOT ANSWERING the questions? AT ALL? She is not even trying to stay on the same topic, just launching into canned bits and not even necessarily about the same thing the question was about. What the fuck? Why are they not getting this? Why is Joe staying pretty neutral and hers is going up? Is she a witch? Oh no! Without Obama on the other side to speak calmly and intelligently, my aneurysm is starting to go! AAAhhhhhh!

Let's try this. Everyone who has ever had the fantasy that if they would just get a regular joe with common sense into DC he would clean up that town and Jimmy Stewart will save us all from hell and the handbasket, raise your hand. Yeah, I'm typing one handed right now. I loved that movie Dave. Super stuff. But come on. Do we really want "Joe Six-Pack"...her words, not mine, to be our leader? The whole argument is that people identify with her. Remember the Roseanne Barr show? People loved that show because they identified with the family. Would you honestly want her or the husband in our highest office? If you would, get off my blog!

Oh man, of course she doesn't want to talk about the causes of global warming! She knows she'll sound like a moron! Oh god please ask her about dinosaurs...please please please! Yowza, did she say nucular? Great christ, is the bar so low for her that we're going to call it a win if she doesn't vomit on herself?

Am I an optimist, or is the approval line starting to get a little more normal. Are people realizing she's full of shit? Are they not buying the McCain as change song and dance? I have just recently begun to believe we may see government who are not only not actively trying to do harm, but actually trying to do good. I'm not ready to trust the public yet though. Sorry, public. I've seen too much of how you treat your kids.

Did Joe have his eyes done? I was kinda hoping he'd call her "Cupcake" or something. You know the right is gonna scream sexism anyway, why not have a little fun with it? If you're going to be hung, why not enjoy the crime? Gosh, I sure swallowed it whole when he talked about the whole god-forbid thing. That seemed so genuine.

Oh shut it. Wasilla Main street my ass.
Here's what I don't get. Her whole thing is that she's so personable. So approachable. I get it. I can see that. I don't believe it to be genuine, but I honestly don't think genuine is a prereq for that. If people believe you are personable, close enough. But here's the thing. I think Biden is a kick in the head. I love this guy. He has a great story, wonderful smile, sparky sense of humor, straight talk. He's fantastic on the relatable front. And Obama? Day-um! Love that guy! His smile is 10 miles wide, he's spicy and has a great sense of fun. I know he has to be all professional and all, but I really think people would love to see his loose side. Remember how people loved Dole after the election when he went on SNL?

Ugh, shining city on a hill? Really? Do you think she really believes that, or wants joe six-pack to run outside and wave his Dixie flag around and shoot his gun in the air and scream, "God bless America..these colors don't run!"
Oh, he just choked himself up! You could see sincerity in him as he just tried to pull it together. That was a lovely real moment.
Darn, no one peed themselves. They're gonna call it a tie. Dang! No one will mention she never answered a question or gave a policy answer. She will get credit for ot stripping naked and screaming Freebird! and everyone will say she pulled it off. Hooray for making the election a game and not a real decision.
Hope you enjoyed yourself!

2008-10-01T18:46:00.001-07:00

This is another of my favorite songs. And a great video too! This is the best disfunctional relationship song ever. My favorite thing about it is everyone knows exactly what he's talking about. The one who is so awful for you and you just can't get enough of them. "You bear the mark of the beast..you're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!" I love it.

Something else fantastic...my favorite late night guy is Craig Ferguson. Not as smug as the other guys, a little manic, and an accent! The best of all worlds!

these make me happy

2008-09-30T19:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, I don't necessarily agree with this picture, but I love it. People are furious about this! I love the sentiment, so nasty. But as an afterthought. Like a neat little capper. I love it.

And I love this. This is the scenery on my commute. That's White Horse Mountain, with Baker peeking up in the back. I almost crash twice a day staring at this gut-wrenching wonder. What really gets me is the barren but awesome sharp, bare peaks. Most of the year these are capped with white, like Baker, but in the summer they are so naked, so jagged, so strong and silent looking. I am overwhelmed by the stretch of time, by the vastness of the world, by the fragility and iron strength. By the sheer wonder of it all. And so I try my very best to not careen through some poor county farmer's cattle pasture as I gape. You'd think, with the sunrise coming later now, it would be too dark to enjoy, thus cutting in half my hazardous driving record. But I saw the sun rise behind the mountain yesterday, with an unholy orange and gold that was so beautiful I nearly gave up the ghost. The pictures I tried to get sucked rocks though, so I'll have to be content with these shots from the afternoon. Good god amighty, do I live in the most beautiful place in the world, or what?

Road to Joy by Bright Eyes. Raucous, cacophonous, loud! I love to crank this up in the car and scream along with it as I drive. Ok, I'm starting to sound like a really bad driver, but I'm not! Turn this up and bask! Ode to Joy's rise and fall and pound is some of my favorite music, throw in some emo punk and screaming...what could be better?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amb-richard-c-holbrooke/calm-methodical-obama-vs_b_130343.html This article says exactly what I am trying to say, only more articulately. I'm so hopeful this time! I am overjoyed at the thought of having a government that actually tries to do good. I am overjoyed at the thought that I believe they will try. I really believe it!

I also love that I will have to make this an ongoing theme. Such an embarrassment of riches!

wowza

2008-09-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

Fareed Zakaria not pulling any punches! And the worst part is, though I know from seeing him on Jon Stewart regularly that he probably has a left-ist slant, he isn't speaking from a crazy liberal point of view. He's just saying... we can't be screwing around right now, this chick cannot do this job. I love his point, and it's the one I've been trying to make when I talk to people, that it isn't just that she doesn't have the right answers, she doesn't understand the questions. We see it all the time in elementary school! A kid will babble nonsense trying to hit some key phrases or buzz words she remembers, but she has no idea what is being asked of her. If she's in science class, she uses science babble, in math, math babble. Scary. And even scarier? See if you can figure out if this is the real interview, or a spoof. Hint: Much of the dialogue is unchanged from the original.

A point to ponder

2008-09-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna have to go with the second one. I recently read "Just How Stupid Are We?" about the American voter, and apparently the answer is "Very." Note the capital v. Like really really really stupid. Partly uninformed, partly under-educated, a little bit lied to, but mostly just really really really stupid. Welcome to the world, my little daughter. Best of luck to you.

So I read this article in The New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/28/opinion/28rich.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

I'm noticing that journalists are getting less and less gentle about calling McCain an ass. It used to be very cloaked, and try to preserve fairness, and be respectful, but more and more articles are calling him crazy, inept, and preposterous. This one sounds so professional and yet so angry. I admire the tone the author was able to strike. I just go on a rant, this guy was able to make calm reasonable points while saying McCain has sold out his country. Awesome. Look at this one too http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erica-jong/not-that-stupid-erica-jon_b_126184.html
People are angry, and expressing it. I love it. Now all we have to do is sit back and watch the campaign eat itself from the inside. It was so sad watching him at the end of the convention. I don't mean that snarkily at all, it really made me sad. "Stand up and fight with me! Stand up and fight with me!" It was like a tired old man talking about what he used to be known for. Like an honorary diploma or something hollow like that. If he had been making that call 18 months ago, it would have meant something, but now he's become the caricature of everything he was calling to fight against. It felt like the one glimpse of his real self that night, only it was so false in its empty promise. It honestly makes me sad to think of it.
Then there's the other guy. I swear, when he's talking, I just want him to keep going. I feel like he knows what he's doing, like he has a plan. Like he will listen to other people and hear what they say and take it into consideration. Like he knows he is in a really tough spot and is trying to figure the way out. I was listening to the radio today and they were talking about the economy. A senator who is working on the bailout was being interviewed and they asked how the next president was going to be affected by it all. He answered for a little bit and was in the middle of a sentence, "Well, they aren't going to invade their way out of it....well. I don't want to say that. If the same team is in power next year, who knows what they will do." He didn't sound at all like he was being sarcastic. Like he seriously thinks these guys might try to war their way out of it! Jesus fucking christ on a bicycle.

Are you watching this?

2008-09-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

I think I know what I need! I'm watching the debate, and McCain is saying the same thing (I wasn't elected Miss Congeniality ((does he know how weird it sounds for an old man to keep saying that?)) and Warshington is corrupt pork barrel pork barrel pork barrel) in reply to every thing asked of him and I am not trying to hurt myself yet. Why? Obama is right there, refuting every time he lies (John, that just isn't true), keeping calm, talking through all the points. So apparently I just need Obama to walk around with me and keep speaking calmly to me. How much do you suppose that costs?
I love that he's listing the stuff McCain has been wrong about in Iraq! He's giving his plans the same way every time...First...Second...he has itemized key points for everything. McCain is just using all this hyperbole and empty jingoism. Obama keeps telling McCain he's said stuff wrong, or lied or whatnot, McCain isn't saying that to Obama at all. Does he not know it, or is Obama only making legitimate points. You decide.
Hey, I heard something funny. Apparently, in the midst of the mock debates for Palin to practice, they just stopped. It was so disastrous, that they just stopped to try and think of something else. Ouch.
Why isn't this a landslide to the left? Every time McCain is asked a direct question, he refers to some obscure ancient event back when he was a maverick and stood up to Warshington. But he NEVER answers a question! I'm watching these guys and McCain is stumbling over lines, just proving he's opening cans for his replies. Obama sounds informed, prepared, intelligent. McCain sounds like a sad old grandpa talking to the whippersnappers about his glory days. I'd be perfectly happy to listen to his stories, but not in response to a direct question!
Uh oh, he's getting steamed! I'm hoping he swings at Obama or calls him uppity...FIGHT FIGHT! heh heh. Dang, Lehrer just reined him in.
Second Holocaust? Where did that come from? Yikes, he's working up to invading Iran.
Ok, I don't get this one. Maybe it's my elementary school training. Why is it such a big deal that Obama said he'll talk to foreign leaders? Isn't diplomacy the best bet for anything? OH! Obama just pointed out that McCain's own advisors agree with Obama! I was hoping that would come up! Hee hee, that's gotta hurt.
I'm trying to stay mature about this, but I am totally hating how McCain keeps making that smirky "whatever" face. That seems so childish.
Hoo Hoo! He just hit the Spain guy!
Oh yikes, McCain is even starting to make Bush facial expressions. That's creepy!
CNN has an audience approval thingy going as a crawl, with a blue line for dem approval, and red for republican. Interestingly, while rarely, it is ONLY purple when Obama talks. McCain, the Uniter, not the Divider, is not getting both but Obama is. hmmmm.
Great fuck! He will not talk about anything that didn't happen decades ago! AArrgh
Nope, calm calm. Obama is trying to talk to him, but he just talks right over it. I hate that.
Obama is the coolest. Literally. He won't get ruffled. I really admire that. I know, I like to swing into full blown anything mode at the drop of a hat, but that's just for fun. As a leader, Obama has exactly what it takes. I bet he lets loose in fun though. Basketball, with friends, that kind of stuff. I can totally see him just busting up laughing at something. hyuk hyuk
Oh wowza, he almost did it, but no...the POW card is out. Last comment of the night. Nice.
Oh, I love how the Obamas will touch each other in public. He obviously values her as an equal. That would be a great thing to see in the White House. He greeted her with "Hey. How'd we do?" Sweet.
Ok, let the spin begin!

wtf

2008-09-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

You did WHAT to my future?

I will admit to being completely baffled by the closeness of this race. I cannot, or will not, put it all down to racism, we cannot possibly have almost half of our country still racist, can we? So in an effort to understand, I have been listening to conservative talk radio. Now, readers at home, I must stress that I DO NOT recommend this plan to any one. ANY one. I am only just recovered from the severe eye explosion on the way to work this morning, aggravated by my screaming and driving my car into a meridian on the way home. If McCain can still ride POW status, I want some kind of credit for the torture I have endured the last few days.

You know what's the best part? Not that they are blaming Obama for the economy crisis. Not that they are applauding McCain for his nobility in suspending his campaign to rush back to DC, where he has not cast a vote since April, cancelling a gig on Letterman to "put country first," but actually spending the exact same time interviewing with Katie Couric...don't believe me? Letterman actually played the live feed on his show while taping, not to mention that incumbent presidents debate opponents while leading the freakin free world, learn to walk and chew gum you idiot!.... I've lost the thread....Oh yeah! Not that the host was actually arguing FOR the golden parachutes. Making his case that if you don't pay top dollar for CEOs, you won't attract the quality talent. "We don't criticize movie stars, or sports stars for making this kind of cash. Why would we criticize highly successful business talent?" Ummm...because they drove their companies into the ground and are asking me, and my daughter, and her daughter, to take the shaft and pay for their mistakes and if that represents the High Quality leadership you are trying to attract, you should probably try and see what you can get for minimum wage. Great leaping goats! There's a blog I love that keeps calling these people "fucktards." And while I cannot utilize it because of the "tards" suffix, it just makes me giggle like a 10 year old every time he says it. Where was I? Oh yeah! No, the best part is the ads. I am not making this up, they are carrying ads about how to get hold of prophets ~ no, I didn't say profits, I said PROPHETS, there's a pamphlet you can send away for to get information about what "you can do" to stop the spread of homosexuality in your community, every other ad is some chick talking about "my family" and "my values." It is as mind-numbingly horrifying as the phrase "President Palin."

So after all these days of masochism, and thank god I didn't go so far as to try and sit through Hannity or, don't even think it, O'Reilly...I would not be here to speak to you today, I have concluded that while I still do not by any stretch understand these people, I get it. I see why they think what they think. They have been told to, and do not have the.....you fill in the blank as you see fit.......to do otherwise. You get the government you deserve. Here's hoping the other half of us don't have to sit through your shit again.

This is my point

2008-09-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

Trueby was telling me about the firedrill they had Friday, and how much she hates them because they are so loud.

Me: Fire alarms are to help you, cutie. They help you be safe. They have to be loud so everyone hears them. What if someone didn't hear it and got on fire?

Her: Well, that would be ok. I would just "Stop, Drop and Roll."

Me: Yeah, but I think it's best to not catch on fire at all.

Her: God would be sad if I was on fire. He's real, he died on the cross.

Me: Oh, christ.

Can't get the election out of my head

2008-09-15T04:01:00.000-07:00

My brain is on this non-stop. Get this dream I just had. A friend's mom went into labor and the friend was too wound to drive her to the hospital, so I took them. I'm driving this impossibly huge land yacht with a steering wheel like a ring of Saturn and when I look back, all I see are fins a million miles back. Of course we're lost, but when we stop to assess where we are, in some back alley I have barely squeaked this monstrosity into, a door opens behind us, like the back door to a bar, only it's the hospital back door. Elated, we rush inside and I'm in the waiting room. This lady, very vaguely reminiscent of Shirley Maclaine in Steel Magnolias, is sitting across from me in the chairs like at airport gates, sucking something through straw from a balloon that has a pro-Hillary message on it. The slogan was devastatingly clever, I remarked on it in my dream and was detachedly very impressed with my subconcious for thinking of it but have completely lost it. She agreed with me that it was clever, like Hillary, and began tearing into That Bastard who stole the nomination from her. I was facinated to be able to actually have a conversation with a real live PUMA and asked questions like, "I know! How do you think he got away with it?" and the like. The only answer I remember her giving was one where he was going for the patriots by choosing a GOP war widow for his wife, and somehow using his wheel chair only for sympathy and effect. Don't blame me, it was a dream. At any rate, the lady raved on for a while and finally I asked, "So, is it McCain for you then?" Damned if I didn't wake up just then and I was all, "Noooo! I have to know if the madwoman was going for McCain!" Yeah, it isn't easy being me. But here's the thing. To all this together. My girl is being shaped by forces outside of my control. Is it possible I will, thirteen years from now, be staring slack-jawed at her as she defends a political position completely alien to me? I'm not saying I expect a carbon copy, or that we agree on everything, or that she follow my beliefs in lock step. Not at all, and I'd be disappointed if she did. Maybe not at first, but eventually! But is it possible I might raise a kid who, if she were an adult right now, would vote for this ticket?

Let's take stock. The past eight years have devastated the country. The ticket's policies promise a continuation of past thinking and policy. Ed Koch, a staunch republican and supporter of Bush, has endorsed Obama. The international community overwhelmingly supports Obama. Alan Greenspan, former head of the Federal Reserve, under Bush, has said McCain's economic policy will be disastrous for the country. McCain has become a clone of everything he is saying he "mavericked" against. His running mate is, at best, dangerously underqualifed, at worst, a religious zealot with no idea what she's talking about but a steadfast plan for it nonetheless. The campaign has been increasingly called out for outright lies in their campaign. Karl Rove said they have gone too far. KARL FUCKING ROVE! And yet his numbers climb. Allow me to posit a theory. We are standing around being shocked that no one is taking all this damning evidence at face value, but who are we talking about, here? We're talking about people who don't believe in evolution. That believe the dinosaur bones were put there by the devil to trick good christians. That believe global warming is a myth. That believe you can pray away the gay. That believe you should want to. We are talking about a group of people who routinely close their eyes and minds to fact and cling all the more tightly to their "faith" when it comes under question, glorying in this chance to prove they do not question. In a culture that only exists if its members do not question, how can we be surprised they are swallowing all they are told without blinking?

Messy head

2008-09-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

So today we had what has to have been the worst playdate in recorded history. We met with Trueby's friend and one of her friends at the park to get the two girls together after much too long apart. They met at daycare and have been each other's yin and yang for as long either of them can remember. I know being apart from the friend she has spent every single weekday with for half of her little life has been tough on the girl. She was so completely overwrought that she cried the entire time! Ok, there were breaks where, after wailing on my lap, she would recover enough to go back at it, but within seconds something would set her off again.
I know it sounds bratty, but it broke my heart all to pieces, and here's why. She is really having a tough time adjusting to kindergarten. As a chick who needs feel anchored and familiar and in control of a situation, she is navigating this entirely alien environment and doing it completely alone. Rules she didn't know existed are governing her days, people she doesn't know at all make up her company, choices are made by those people that quite frankly are freaking her out. We all know how public school is distressingly full of the public. The sheltered CDC world that prepared her so well to be a beautiful human being, didn't prepare her at all for interacting with others who haven't had the same training. She knows "tattling" is a sin, and so doesn't know what to do when she is unable to solve a problem on her own. As one of 21 cogs in the room, my silent observer is completely over run. She enjoys her after-school program more, but even then she is having trouble finding her place. I just about cried in front of her when she showed me a huge divot she had taken out of her tongue when she and another girl collided and she bit down on herself. There was an honest to god tooth shaped hole in her tongue and it was swollen and making it really uncomfortable when it kept bumping on her teeth. I asked her if the workers had given her an ice cube to suck on and she said they didn't know it happened. I asked her, "Didn't you cry?" and she said, "No, I just sat down and was really sad." Oh my word.

So anyway, the playdate. I think she was so over-emotional to be back with her friend, safe and familiar, that she just couldn't get control of herself. She cried and cried and cried. When she would go play, I talked with my friend about her and just blubbered myself. I am so fortunate to have such an understanding and compassionate friend who listened and agreed and supported, and never told me I was over-coddling (though I know I am), or had to let her find her own way (though I know I do) or that I was over-reacting (hello...met me before?). After we left we came home and had dinner then all three of us curled up in front of the TV to watch a movie together. I just hope letting her know that her world outside of school is as strong and consistent as ever, that she is as strong as ever, will help speed the transition through this icky period. And I know it's a transition, she will eventually make good friends and become the loudmouth kid her teacher wishes would just shut it. I know that. But right now she is just breaking my heart.

Nope, still a pig

2008-09-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously? The republican campaign wants the public to believe this is what Obama said? And McCain intoning at the end..."I'm John McCain, and I approve this message." I said it before, and I'll say it again, he is going to hate himself from the inside out after this over. That is giving him credit for retaining any shred of the honor he has touted and used and sold during this campaign. Sex ed for kindergartners, for god's sake? Apparently old Johnny has an asking price, and it is embarrassingly low. On the upside, I got to see this picture. I guess there is one thing about Cheney that I can find the silver lining for. Heh heh.

Here's another thing I never thought I'd say. The toughest interview I've seen of McCain so far was on, wait for it, The View. You heard me. Why are Comedy Central and Stay-At-Home Mom Central the hardest hitting journalism on the campaign trail? Check this out: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/12/mccain-grilled-on-the-vie_n_125972.html

Damn, I love me the Huffington Post. You do need to take it with a grain of salt, very very very left, but I've double checked them a lot and while they may slant a bit, they don't spin and they don't make anything up. They also have a link to a compendium of articles from other publications lately that are just starting to talk about the fact that McCain is lying like a rug. While it's astonishing that the volume of lies needed to reach this point before the main stream media began to go, "Ok, hold on there a minute," it's even more alarming to read the comments to the list of articles. "Oh, those are all liberal left papers commenting on republican ads. Of course they say it's all lies." They're talking about the New York Times and other major publications quoting actual documented facts that show McCain is a liar. Really, just how blind an eye can you turn? Jesus! I'm totally not making this up, look! http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/09/12/1382169.aspx

On a much happier note, Trueby declared she needed to visit "the salon" (she pronounces it with an umlaut) today. Her hair was much too long for good taste, apparently. I offered to cut it on the deck, as I always do, but after some consideration, decided a professional would be the best bet. It was starting out way shorter than it usually is when I attempt it, and I need a good 2-3" grace period to even up the sides, so I figured I'd let a trained hand at it. True will never let me do it again now!

Maybe if I gave her a sucker after, she'd be more willing to let me try?

Taking stuff for granted

2008-09-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

So here's what I'm wondering. It is highly possible that I live in the most beautiful place on the planet. Also, that I have the most perfect child ever. Equally possible that I have an idyllic life, marred only by petty grievances and my own shortcomings. So my question is, am I doing enough to A)deserve this and B)preserve it for my kid? Today was so gobsmackingly alluring that we got subs for dinner ~ apparently we do this more often than I think. The chick knew Trueby's sandwich! Turkey and cheddar on white with pickles and olives and that's all! ~ and met dad at the park. The water, the light, the temperature...everything exactly perfect.

Check this one out. You don't often get to catch an actual "knee-slapper" on film

We talked about her second day in kindergarten, in which she was totally on her own, no parents holding hands today! I obsessed over upsetting the delicate apple cart by throwing a spoke in the brand new routine wheel and letting her get hot lunch (chicken nuggets, baby!) tomorrow. Will she be able to handle it? Will she lose the money? Will they take cash since she doesn't have an account open? Will she eat the lunch? Will she have enough? Will she be nervous carrying her tray around to get the stuff? Will she speak up if she needs help? I know. I said I was obsessing. It doesn't count as psychotic if I recognize it myself so back off and keep your judgement to yourself. (Whenever I hear "judge" in any context it reminds me of the brilliant film "Hot Fuzz," which is a follow-up to the even more brilliant "Shaun of the Dead," seriously, if you haven't seen both, stop reading, go rent them, come back and we'll discuss it, in which the first cop accuses a guy of "acting as judge, jury and executioner..." and his somewhat less sharp partner replies, "He wasn't acting as Judge Judy and executioner..." Damn, there is no topping British random wit!) Ok, having completely laid the psychotic discussion to rest...We were having a lovely evening and I started thinking to myself how tragic it would be if just over half our registered voters fuck it all up for the rest of us.

Take a look at this article and tell me if you aren't desperately afraid.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/adam-mckay/were-gonna-frickin-lose-t_b_124772.html

I don't want Trueby to have to clean up an even worse mess than I am already leaving her. The debt, the environmental destruction, the closed-mindedness... I just don't want her to have to live in the world it will become if we hand them this election too. Honestly, if we give them yet another go-round, after all they have done so far, what is ever going to stop them? We would be outright saying, "Yes. Lie to us. Yes. Make fortunes at our expense. Yes. The Constitution is your plaything, have at it. We don't care if you are breaking the law you have sworn on your god to uphold. We will never stop supporting you in shitting all over us."

I don't want to sound like a sycophant, but when I watch Obama talk, I just cannot figure out what people are against. I swear I have tried to see both sides. I have tried to see what others don't want about Obama, and I have tried to see what McCain has to offer. I don't get it. I can only hope things go well in 57 days and I can lose this awful knot in the pit of my stomach. Ha ha suckers...you thought you were in for a nice, pastoral family picnic post, huh? That'll learn ya.